all made up with nowhere to go

A. There was a hecking massive thunderstorm last night. Well, I say massive, it probably didn't last longer than an hour, but there was a lot of rain, and the road outside my house had water coming down most of it.

Also I'd gone to bed early because I was tired, couldn't sleep, and then there were massive claps of thunder happening right over my house! FUN TIMES.

(everything is okay now, btw; I checked as soon as I woke up. The water probably came down the road because the drains got overwhelmed with so much rain so quickly, and there was no lying water anywhere).

B. I started reading Assassin's Quest. I'm not very far in (less than a hundred pages). I honestly was not expecting so much effed up shit to have happened already! (I mean, I kind of knew it did, but also wowwww).

C. Stream!

Luke plays Bloodborne for the FIRST TIME EVER - I don't know if he does regret it (I don't think so). I wasn't going to watch it because, welp, I have Feelings about Soulsborne games, and they ain't positive. But I did, and it was fun, and now I know what the Cleric Beast looks like (your nightmares, that's what).

I think, a bit like Assassin's Creed, this is one of those games that's more fun to watch than play? Maybe?

D.I FOUND YEAST WHEN I WENT SHOPPING YESTERDAY!

I nearly bloody fainted, I stg. And bought two packs of five, because everything I want to bake requires yeast (apart from cookies, but I haven't wanted to make them in a while).

I literally, and I am not joking, have not seen yeast for sale in approximately three months.

E. Those minis I ordered have not arrived yet. I keep getting apologetic emails from the shop I bought them from saying that they're really sorry they've been delayed and they don't outright say I can cancel my order for a refund, but they have a link to their helpdesk, so I assume that's what that's there for?

I'm not cancelling, I've got a unicorn on its way! (eventually)

(Wow, yeah, I just checked - it's been a month since I put in my order).

F. I updated my profile on here a little bit, since I haven't touched it in years. I added my kofi page link, and deleted a couple of no longer relevant things.

G. I feel like I should've put a "proper" end on this post, but I never know how to end these, even after seventeen years of making them.

I have beaten The Zodiac Age!

Now I have a new game+ on strong mode, and Reks has 4K+ HP and it's hilarious!

I am not going to play through again on strong mode yet, though. It's too soon, even though it would be the funniest thing ever. (I'd (probably) be able to get all the espers on that mode? *shrug emoji* I mean, if I knew where they all were).

I think I am going to play Mass Effect: Andromeda next, since the TVT page for it made it sound way more interesting than I expected (I mean, I'm still mad that we have to play as a human and OH LOOK HERE ARE ALL YOUR FAVOURITE RACES FROM THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY! I get why now, but it doesn't stop my annoyance). Also Clancy Brown voices Your Dad, and how is that not awesome?

So yeah, probably that next.

~

In other news, the zine/book/thing progresseth! Although I had to make myself a mock-up from scrap paper so that I got the text/images in the right order for printing.

Now I just have to do final tweaking, and then print off a trial copy and \o/

I had my first migraine in five months on Thursday and OH BOY THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE. I was glad I was off work although, had I had my wits about me, I'd have realised what was happening the day before and asked to go home*. So I hope I didn't make any dumb mistakes (nobody's said anything yet if I did).

~

Yesterday it was my town's local comic con (organised by my friends!) and I went and hung out for a bit. I'd like to exhibit there, but haven't managed to over the past years it's been run (including this year) because I've had other stuff on my plate.

But a fun time was had! There were some new people there who haven't been before, so that was good. And there was also the one lady who's been there every year and she recognised me! She made a joke about how it was her annual sighting of me, and I stg my brain did a backflip or something because she remembered me! I also noticed that I was not as much of a bunch of nerves talking to her as I was the first time (which, tbf, is three years ago now), nor when I was talking to other people, either, which was awesome. I don't know if it's because I am starting to feel more confident again, or if it's because working in a shop helps?

I was glad I wasn't exhibiting or volunteering, though, because I think I would have been a bit overwhelmed with that. (Also I don't have enough art to exhibit anywhere yet, as evidenced by my distinct lack of an Etsy shop right now). But maybe next year! \o/

~

I am feeling extremely guilty about the fact that it's almost two months since I updated the FFXII liveblog. Er, sorry?

(Although now I totally get why there are long gaps in Let's Plays and stuff! It's because Real Life is an interfering bastard!)

Also I made the mistake of downloading Wordscapes on my phone AND my tablet. It's mildly frustrating from time to time but it's a word game! I also discovered there's a Hello Kitty mobile game (Hello Kitty Friends), so OBVIOUSLY I downloaded that, as well (I love Hello Kitty A LOT). It is very addictive, but it's a Match 2, so I'm not entirely surprised that I find it so. I love matching games.

~

I don't know how to end this entry, so I'm just going to write this awkward note and hit post!

~

*I don't always have aura, but I do become extremely tired the day before, and feel like my brain is made of mush, which was what was going on then.

HEY HEY GUESS WHAT!!!!!

I'VE FINALLY PAID OFF MY CREDIT CARD!

\o/ \o/ \o/

I am so pleased with myself that I've managed to do this. Now all I need to do is ring up and cancel the card.

Next job is to work on the other debt, which hopefully I can get done before my birthday.

~

I've been playing Strange Journey Redux in my spare time and am now twenty or so hours and four sectors into it. I think I like it? I wasn't sure I'd like a dungeon crawler, but it turns out it's not so bad.

I was determined to go full Chaos, but I think I'll see where I end up. I was chaotic for two dungeons, but now I'm back at neutral, so honestly who knows what will happen.

~

We're onto episodes of Charmed that I Definitely Don't Remember now. I've finally seen the one where Cole is finally dealt with, and I would have thought if I'd seen it I would remember it, since there was time travel! and an alternate universe! Which are things I most very definitely love, and would remember!

(Sadly I vaguely remember the one with Paige and the leprechauns, which is on now, because of the terrible Irish accents).

The other morning, I woke up with a burning urge to write. I felt really creative! I couldn't wait to get words on a page!

...And I ended up writing, like, half a page of the sad teenagers story. And that was all I did all day, and then I got mad at myself because I felt I'd been unproductive, and that I'd wasted my urge to write.

The next day I did nothing, not even half a page. I said to mum that I thought the problem was that I didn't want to work on any of the three stories I had on the go, as it were (sad teenagers, human abominations, and magical girls). Which is true, I didn't. So she said, "Do you have any others you can work on? Or could you think of a new idea?"

and I, in a horrified tone said, "NO! OF COURSE NOT! I SHOULD WORK ON THESE!"

Except that, of course, I see a lot of writing advice that says if you're getting nowhere with one thing, go and do another so you don't end up hating the original thing.

So I sat down and thought about something I have admittedly wanted to write for some years now. Which would be something based on Welsh myth. The only problem is that I am not so familiar with Welsh mythology as I want to be (I know way more about Irish but that's to do with contents of mythology books and stuff I read in my late teens). So I did some googling! And aside from anything else, it cleared up a mystery I've been puzzling over for years, which is the story about the lady from Llyn Y Fan Fach. I have half-remembered this story since I was a kid (but was aware I didn't make it up) but didn't really know what to look for, so I'm glad I found that.

And I read some other bits and pieces, and I knew what I wanted to name one of the characters, so I noodled around, and now I think I have a thing! I even sort of have an idea of what will happen in the story, but I am unsure about how to go about it. I need to think up some more characters to play about with, because currently I only have the main character, and the person telling the story, and that is not enough.

(I like making characters, as my book of RPG characters will tell you, so it's not like it's even a hardship. If I could concentrate on it for long enough, I would totally be one of those people with five billion OCs. But I can't. I don't know how other people do it).

Anyway, TL;DR version is I have another story even though it's the last thing I need.

~

Couple of links you may or may not find interesting?

Persistent Melancholy: An Examination of Unifying Musical Gestures in Nier - I need to go back and reread this, as it's got some really interesting stuff in it. HOWEVER BEWARE OF MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE GAME if you decide to read it and you haven't played it.

Hollywood in Translation: A Look at Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which is about the differences between the EN and JP scripts for said film, written by nintendoh
(I found this REALLY interesting!)

The Case For Character Creator: The Game - which is exactly what it sounds like and DUDE I WANT THIS THING THAT DOES NOT EXIST.

Why the Raven Cycle isn't getting any diversity cookies from me - which details the problems I had with the racism in TRC but couldn't articulate well enough at the time.

Book meme, stolen from lassarina:

( q&a under here )

~

While I am on the subject of books, and urban fantasy in particular, can we stop having books with awesome premises that turn out to be paranormal romances specifically where the main couple are destined to be together, forever. Or that turn out to be paranormal romances full stop?

Please?

OH FRIDAY YOU SAUSAGE WAFFLE YOU.

( it was not a good day, mostly )

So that was Friday! (on the plus side I guess I walked 5K and did 8,000+ steps, so yay?)

~

I promised myself that I would write today, as I came up with an AU idea for my magical girl story, and I actually really like it. And then I was thinking about visual references for said story (as I'd still like to do this as a webcomic, and I have a clear-ish idea of how places look, but no references). I told myself that I did not need to go on Pinterest to make boards for this.

Except that I went on Pinterest at 10am and didn't manage to wrangle myself off till 4pm!

I like Pinterest, I really do. I think it works really well at collating Stuff. What I don't like, is when you pin something, and it has the pop up saying, "OH THIS WAS ALSO ON THIS INTERESTING BOARD YOU MIGHT LIKE TO LOOK AT!"

and I go, "yes, yes I might!" *right click > open in new tab*

and suddenly I have fifty tabs open and none of my boards are anything like I intended when I went on there, and I have five new ones for no apparent reason.

I do kind of wish it had a folder system, though, so I could have all my craft stuff in one folder, and my writing ideas in another, for example. And THEN have them divided by board. That would be nifty.

One thing the Pinterest binge did confirm for me is how disinterested I am in medieval-inspired fantasy worlds. It's one reason I tend to avoid WRPGs (and don't want to play D&D, for example**), and why I'll probably never actually read Icey Firey Songs properly. (Also yes, yes, I know I just played Skyrim, and I like Dragon Age, but I'm not head over heels about either of them, and part of that is the settings and their inspirations). I think a part of it is over-saturation to some degree.

At the time of writing/posting, I have done no fiction writing, other than copying traits out of an astrology book, for my characters, and gawping at how none of them are a "typical" anything (For example, Mara, my MC, is a Libran, but actually better fits the description for Aries. Cassie, one of her friends, is nothing like the descriptors for Aries, though I don't know what sign would better fit her. Maybe Pisces). That said, it did give me some ideas, though, so I suppose it wasn't time wasted.

Although apparently every single sign of the zodiac is manipulative as heck so that's nice. I don't know if the author of this book has a chip on their shoulder, but it certainly reads that way.

Anyway, I'm not changing my characters' randomly designated birth dates just because they don't agree with some stuff in a book. (I used a random number generator to determine their dates of birth, because otherwise I get biased about what dates I assign people's birthdays to). At least it gives me some kind of idea what sort of flaws to give them (I'm not great at assigning traits in general, even less so with flaws).

If you're interested, my boards are here, and the ones I added today were: concept art, mages, mage world inspiration, desert world inspiration, people in armour, interesting faces, and happy things. I didn't need most of those. I needed the mages, and the mage world inspiration, and that was supposed to be it.

~

*I know there's a word for this in The Meaning of Liff, and it's been driving me mad trying to remember what it is. I know it's not Bradford, because those are the leather patches on the elbows of jackets. BRAIN WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME.

**Apart from that one weirdy setting that is a desert planet, I think? Because that sounds cool as heck.

***ETA: Apparently one cubic centimetre of water weighs one gram, so I was carrying around four to five kilos on my back. That's a lot, right?

I got got by two April Fool's this year. That's the first time in ages. I'm so annoyed.

~

I'm going to post this here, just so I have it for posterity (or something). I think the following was done on purpose, mum thinks it's coincidence, and I have told no-one else. If it's coincidence, it's flipping weird.

( this is bibble, feel free to skip )

~

I got a new phone on Monday! It's not the one I wanted, it's actually a newer model, and the guy in the phone shop bumped up my phone bill by an extra £3 a month because of it. I'm actually a little mad about that, but I didn't want to wait another month for a different, cheaper phone because I am impatient.

So I have a Sony Xperia Z5! The guy in the shop was confident that I would like it (though that was probably just part of his patter, who knows or cares, right?) And I do! I like holding it, and think it's really nicely designed, and I like using it. Maybe I should nip back in the shop and tell him he was right ;)

I got a 32Gb memory card for it (though it can take up to a 200Gb (!!!) card) for £10. This is almost as much storage space as my first laptop's first hard drive had in its entirety. I am BOGGLING OVER HERE.

Of course, the first thing I did, when I figured out how do it was put music on the card. (Because Linux doesn't like talking to Sony phones, so much so that it doesn't recognise them when plugged in. There are workarounds, but my brain is too tired to deal with masses of code right now). Anyway, eventually I remembered that I had a card reader on my laptop, so I could transfer music and photos that way! YAY.

(Also: the playlist function in the default player tells you how long the playlist lasts! I have been missing this one function for years. Sadly, it doesn't tell you how long all the songs in your collection will play for but eh, I can deal).

ALSO TWITTER NOW WORKS LIKE IT'S MEANT TO! I CAN FAVE THINGS AND REPLY AND IT DOESN'T CRASH!!!! *throws confetti* I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT WAS LIKE.

Webcomics I am still reading: Cucumber Quest, Paranatural

I haven't read Namesake in over a year, and I can't remember what the heck was going on at the (random) point I stopped. I suppose I'll have to go back and start all over again.

Comics open in tabs to read: The Last Cowboy, Apothecia, Blood-Splattered Socks (although I like the idea, I don't think I like the art, so probably will end up ditching it), and The End (which Annette actually told me about, though she stopped reading it).

Comics I want to read but haven't yet: Stand Still Stay Silent

Comics I tried/looked at, but didn't like for one reason and another: Balderdash!, Witchy, Kill Six Billion Demons. (I don't think I've tried any other webcomics in the last twelve months. If I have, I have forgotten them).

Last manga I read: High School Debut (abandoned because it wasn't doing it for me, even though I think Haruna is awesome)

Manga I still want to read: Kimagure Orange Road, eta: Rose of Versailles [/eta]

Manga I haven't finished: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

This post brought to you by: a) thinking A Lot about my webcomic idea (currently making myself sad by thinking about a certain thing in it. I then try to counteract this by thinking happy thoughts about the couple in my sci-fi story, and it's not quite working)

and b) working round to reading From Eroica, With Love (WHICH! IF YOU HAVE OPINIONS* ABOUT IT, I'D LIKE TO HEAR THEM), but not quite managing it, because one of the characters reminds me of one of my embarrassing crushes** and I don't know if I can deal with that (I should be able to, but I feel like whining today).
~

*Any opinions at all, I don't care if they're negative or not.

**You know, the people you have crushes on that you'd never admit to in public? Yeah. Them.

I finished reading Lily Blue, Blue Lily a couple of nights ago. I think I am going to have to read the end again because a) I was tired and b) it is somewhat of a mishmash - as in, I think Ms Stiefvater should've thought a little bit more about her setting and adjusted accordingly.

One thing I do like about these books is that powers just work, and things just are, and that's great. I'm big fan of "How does it work?" "It just does", because not everything needs to be spelt out in minute detail BUT. The one place I feel like that doesn't work is the end of the book ( because spoilers )

Also yeah, I sort of love how ridiculous a certain character is, but that's not the same character we were introduced to a book ago. Also yes I agree with some people who have griped about Malory's presence being pointless (yes, it is, but I kind of love him because he, too, is ridiculous. Also I have a theory about him: ( speculative spoiler! )

On the other hand: Adam :D

One thing I do like about these books is, that while they have two obvious romances in, neither romance takes over the books, and I like that (in fact it's handled in a similar way that Adam and Blue being cute is, and I really like that. I don't always want to read about characters kissing or nearly but not quite having sex all over the place).

I'm totally not getting the Adam/Ronan thing, though. All I'm seeing is a one-sided crush on Ronan's behalf (not that Adam isn't aware of it, however).

I have started rereading though, because I did power through these, and I know I don't give things my full attention when I do that.

(I've been reading through the bad reviews on Goodreads for each book. I found myself agreeing with them for the first book, not at all for the second, but then on the third? Yeah, I could see where those reviews were coming from).

Seriously, though, writers in general: stop describing people as "handsome" or "beautiful" or "attractive" without giving me qualifiers as to why! I mean, I have a fairly good idea of what I think everyone looks like, because there are descriptors, but more often than not, people are described as the above without any follow-up and I [disgusted noise].

~

I've started doing German on Duolingo again, and it's making me feel good, because I'm breezing through lessons that I know gave me ridiculous amounts of trouble before (accusative case I am looking at you). Also I remember waaaaay more than I gave myself credit for, and that's great.

~

I'm poking the magical girl story. It's poking back, and mostly being daft, but that's OK because I sort of needed a break from traumatised soldiers. (I do love the abominations story, but I'm just not the sort of writer who can work on one thing single-mindedly for a long time).

Funnily enough, here is ursulav talking about not just concentrating on one piece of writing at a time. I swear I did not know this beforehand!