all made up with nowhere to go

Keanu Reeves is going to be sixty tomorrow, and I am fully unprepared for this!

~

My hands are really painful at the moment, and I wonder if it is a stress response.

I have worked A LOT over the last two weeks, with just two days off in the middle (and not together). I also have not been sleeping well. Anyway, tl:dr version: I ended up accidentally burning myself out on Friday by doing more than I thought I was capable of as well as a 6.5 hour shift at work.

I noticed that my hands started hurting partway through the shift. It got to the point where I couldn't get into a bottle of tomato sauce and had ask someone else to do it for me, because I couldn't grip tightly enough. And, as I say, my hands are still hurting and feel very stiff, two days later.

But I'm totally capable of doing a full time job, am I? [/sarcasm] (sorry, I am still very bitter about this).

Anyway, I've got a few days off, one tiny shift tomorrow, and then next week I am on holiday for a week! \o/ So hopefully I can recover well.

~

In other, more exciting, news, my new headphones are here, and they are delightful!

Why I didn't just buy these in the first place, I have no idea, but at least I have them now, and they are providing an excellent aural experience!

I did manage to get a refund on the old ones, which was nice, so that covers some of the cost of these. And I ended up getting a partial refund from some clothes I bought (one of the items was out of stock), so that will cover a little bit more, so I can feel a bit less guilty about how much I spent on these ones.

(Who am I kidding, I will never stop feeling guilty).

List post, because eh.

1. I've been awake since 5am, so THAT'S FUN! Although I no longer (currently) work Wednesdays, so at least I can have a nap, should I choose to.

2. I finally have a new (to me) microwave! \o/ I can finally make mug cakes! I can also reheat stuff really quickly!

3. I forgot to mention my presents the other day so, the non-boring ones are: a glass mug with a panda face on; a couple of massive cookies (they were delicious); a bar of Carte D'Or chocolate (milk chocolate with extra cocoa); a science-y book called The Element in the Room; and some Xmas fudge (was nice, but the spices could have been stronger imo).

4. I've been rewatching Outside Xbox's Hitman streams, because reasons, I guess? (I'm sort of hype about Hitman 3, but I know I'll never play it, because it is, in its heart, a stealth game, and I suck at those).

5. It snowed on Monday night, and there is still snow now! \o/

6. My art stuff might be here tomorrow! (I doubt it, but you never know!) I got an email on Monday saying it had been dispatched, and it takes 4-9 days, so maybe!

7. I have nearly finished my Animal Crossing jigsaw. Most of what I have left is the sky and the trees, i.e. all the bits that look almost identical, boooo. I want to finish it soon, because I want to do some painting, and it's taking up space on the table!

8. I'm not going to do an end of year post. We all know what 2020 was like. There are things I've done this year that I'm happy/pleased with, but over all, ughhhhh *drags hands down face*

We had a storm last Sunday, and I slept badly because of it! I am not in the least bit surprised!

Luckily, I didn't spend my birthday in tears, because I'd already been sleeping badly all week, and I actually slept better on that night than the previous handful.

I didn't go out anywhere, because the Met Office had advised people not to go out unless they absolutely HAD to, and it was a good job I didn't, because town flooded. The main road by me and further down flooded a bit, so even if I'd gone out, I wouldn't have been able to get back. (I woke up to the sound of flood sirens, which are actual WWII air raid sirens and let me tell you, it's spooky A F).

I spent the majority of the day freaking out about town flooding, and worrying about my friends and work colleagues. I also spent a lot of it drawing, which was nice.

And now we are having another storm today which hopefully *fingers crossed* won't be as bad as the last one.

~

In other news, you will probably not be surprised to learn that I have fallen down a stationery rabbit hole.

I didn't mean to!

( cut for length )

Anyway, now I've made this confession, I'm going to go and watch some more videos now :D

(if you want to check out her videos, the journalling person I mentioned is Rainbowholic, and the unboxing video I watched was first was the London Gifties one).

Oh my word I feel like I have had SUCH a week. I've been busy every day since last Friday, and not sleeping well, and basically I've been running on fumes! (I hate this; every time I feel like this now, I have no idea how I managed when I was like this for longer periods in the past).

Friday I worked, Saturday I had to go shopping for clothes/shoes because I had an upcoming interview, and barely any smart clothes. Sunday I was working, as I was on Monday. Tuesday I had the interview, then went food shopping, and Wednesday I was working. Today is the first day I'm not doing anything.

Add to this that for several of the nights, I did not sleep well. I've slept better since Monday, but it's still been broken sleep so it's not been great.

I also think that I still haven't adjusted to the clocks going back, even though it's nearly two weeks ago now.

I didn't get the job I interviewed for. Partly because I haven't had an interview in ten years, partly because I didn't know what I would be asked, and partly because I don't have the confidence/skill level for the job right now. All of which is fair, and I didn't disagree with anything that was said because it's all true.

I watched Back to the Future on Saturday, although to say I actually watched it is not accurate. It just kind of happened while I was in the room (I did watch the last fifteen to twenty minutes, though, because I always do, because even though I've seen this film SO MANY times, it always grips me). I didn't bother with the sequels, though. It's not like they're going anywhere; I can watch them another time.

Also one of my work colleagues mentioned D&D-ing again, and offered to DM, and somehow I came up with an idea for a character. They are, in part, based on the villain from my Webcomic Which Will Never Happen, and I am kind of excite! However, they are an elf, and a random tweet I saw the next day reminded me that actually I wanted to play a tabaxi (because, yanno, I'll try to be a cat person wherever possible) and I don't think the character would fit a tabaxi. I don't know! I am going to think about this some more.

And finally, I bought myself used copies of Ni No Kuni and Kingdoms of Amalur to give them a go. I didn't like the demo of Amalur when I played it way back when, but I'm going to give it another go. I've been thinking about doing that for a while, but one of the presenters on Outside Xbox is well into it, and extremely enthusiastic about it, and I think her enthusiasm has rubbed off on me. So. That's two more games for the backlog!

And now I'm done, because this feels like a long post, even if it isn't.

Time is doing that thing where it is going slow and fast at the same time. I can hardly believe it's Friday already, and yet it feels like forever ago since it was Monday.

Anyway. Maybe it will settle down soon, I don't know.

Things:

# I have bought my nephew an Xmas present, and it is nothing he wants! (It's a tree ornament with his name on. He will want Transformers and Lego because that's what he's into). I don't know what to get him, and I even less than usual know what to get my brother and sister in law, although I've been told nothing is an acceptable alternative but I don't like that! I like giving presents, even if it is a cop-out of "here's some money/a gift card".

# Jazz has become a real cuddlebutt since it's got colder. I don't mind too much, because she keeps me warm as well. It's only when I'm trying to do something and she keeps getting in my way with headbutting or whatever (but she is cat; getting in the way is what they do). I also don't mind because Jinny wasn't really a lap cat, even when she started sitting with me last year, so it's nice to have another cat who wants to sit on me from time to time.

(Also I've only had her just over six months, and already she stretches out along my legs like she's lived here for years. I'm taking that as meaning she's relaxed and happy, as I worry sometimes that she isn't happy because everything's been so upside down ever since she arrived).

# I've spent a lot of the last two weeks doing sewing while watching Outside Xbox videos/some stuff by art Youtubers/random music videos. I really like the stuff I've made, so hopefully I can frame it and get it up on Etsy before too long (I need to overhaul my store something chronic, as I haven't used it in two(?) years). I'm also thinking of charging more what I think the product is worth rather than, oh, can people afford this?. Because if someone wants it and they've got the cash, they're going to buy it, right?

(I know, I know, this is a thing every creative person struggles with. In fact I have even been watching videos about it on YT just this week!)

I also need to scan some stuff. Hopefully, I will get that done this weekend.

# I sorted through most of my mum's embroidery stuff. All I think I have left now is the kits from magazines to deconstruct for useful parts. I feel horribly guilty about even thinking about it, but I'm not going to make most of those kits, and mum never got around to it, so I might as well recycle the useable parts, right?

I felt guilty enough sorting out the threads, even though I'd actually said to mum that I might do that one day, and she didn't object. The worst part was finding projects she'd been partway through, and taking out the threads from those. But again, she can't finish them now, so why spend my time tying myself in knots about it? (I ought to go back and pull all the useable needles out of the fabrics, too, actually, before they rust or likewise). The only one I didn't take the threads from was a big embroidery she'd designed herself and worked on, but only got about a fifth done. I ought to take pictures of it some day, because I think it's really cool, and some of the embroidery on it is amazing.

But I felt guilty sorting out the art supplies and stationery. I doubt I will stop feeling guilty about the sorting for a long time yet.

Anyway, like the art supplies, I doubt I'll need to purchase many embroidery (or general sewing) supplies any time soon.

# Sorry if this entry comes across as slapdash or whatever. I've not been sleeping well again, so everything is urgh, brain, and I've not wanted to do much except curl up with the cat.

The weather is so much cooler now, it's great! (I mean, I am horribly cold, because I've always got cold easily, but at least I don't feel like I will die in the heat).

I saw a dumb take on twitter last night, and proceeded to spend all the time when I should've been sleeping thinking about it. I slept badly anyway, because I was worrying about some stuff, so every time I was conscious, this stupid thing kept coming back into my head.

(I think it pissed me off, because it was about why people like autumn/winter (apparently no-one really does *eye roll*) and, as someone who fucking loves the shit out of autumn, it annoyed me that this dumb twerp on there was trying to tell me how I feel).

~

I had a bug on my computer the other day! I don't even know how it happened, it just did!

I had had the computer on to check my email, and I saw that it said updates were due. It was quite a large download (100Mb+), and I didn't have time to do it before I went out. So I clicked the "remind me later" box, and shut my computer down as usual.

Cut to several days later, when I wanted to check out some Animal Crossing sprites I'd seen a while back. I booted the computer up, logged in, and there was a distinct absence of my launcher and top bar.

So I did some googling on my phone, and it turned out it's actually a common bug, going back several iterations of Ubuntu. It's to do with the compiz config file (which the crash report did tell me). The first fix I found didn't work, in spite of my trying it more than once, and I wondered, as I always do, whether it was because I'm too dumb to understand the code*. Actually, it turned out that I was not being dumb, but that what had happened to me was a more simple version of the bug, and was ludicrously easy to fix. So that's what I did this morning.

I had to install the Lubuntu desktop (which displayed correctly), then navigate to the compiz config file**, and reset the setting from unity-lowgfx to just unity, and then log out of the Lubuntu desktop, and back into normal Ubuntu. And it worked! Thank frog! Although because I'd cleared my cache in trying one of the other fixes, everything took about three years to load, but at least it worked!

PHEW

(Now I just need to back everything the fuck up. But that can wait for another day).

~

*That said, one of the comments on the fix said sometimes it's hard to strike a right tone between people understanding, and you not sounding condescending to people who know what they're doing.

**I feel compiz config would be a good tongue twister for drunk people ;)

I am nearly at the final dungeon in FFIV DS!

I had forgotten entirely about the expository cutscenes near the end! (I also can't remember if there was anything even like that in the original game. I don't think so, but I wouldn't like to say for sure as a) I can't remember the last time I even played the original, and b) I've been awake since 5:30am, so I am tired, and memory is not a working thing right now).

~

There's been some hashtag lists flittering around twitter in the past week or so and, while I posted to the games one, I had enormous trouble with the TV series and films ones, so never added them.

None of these are in anything LIKE order of preference.

( Read more... )

~

I have been trying to update my instagram a bit more often, and I've been more successful at that than updating my wordpress (it's been nearly two months! Yikes. It's not like I don't have stuff to post, I do! I guess I've just been otherwise engaged).

Anyway, yeah. Art stuff! On social media! (If you're not into that sort of thing, it should be up on my WP blog eventually anyway).

~

This is a bit disjointed, for which I apologise. As previously noted, I am dog tired, after been awake for sixteen hours on six hours' sleep. Thanks, brain.

Ugh.

I am really not feeling it right now.

Forced myself to knit, earlier, because this sock needs knitting and fuck I have to do something else other than stare at the walls all day.

Hopefully I will feel better after a good night's sleep, since I haven't slept too well the past two nights, and that always throws me out (also I wasn't expecting insomnia, and there's been absolutely no reason for it).

~*~

On the topic of sleep, I had a dreamt about a talking horse the other night, and not for the first time. I love that I didn't find it out of the ordinary at all, and carried on a perfectly normal conversation with the horse. Also dream!me knows how to ride, and waking!me is envious.

My sleep schedule is royally fucked. Long time followers will know I get periodic insomnia. Well, this time it's been AS STUPID AS.

I haven't been getting to sleep till 3am some nights. And then, on Thursday, I woke at 7am and couldn't get back to sleep. Actually, that wasn't so bad, as I managed to get a lot of work done in the morning. But then I was dog-tired for the rest of the day, and had a huge nap in the afternoon.

Slept all right at night, though.

Then today, I woke at 6am and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm OK at the moment, thanks to a nap this afternoon, but I only had 6 hours' sleep and, while I've actually had quite a productive day for a Saturday (photos, looking internet stuff up, making some more things), but I wish I'd slept for longer (I'm of the opinion that I need a lot of sleep).

So here's the thing: I actually think I'm going to start getting up at 7, regardless of the time I fall asleep, because I can get a fair bit of shit done in a morning while I have time to myself, and then have an extended nap in the afternoon, and that'll make up whatever hours I need to sleep for, I reckon?

IDK, but I'm going to give it a go. I keep thinking I'm fixed, and then I'm not *sigh*

~*~

In other news, I am indulging my teenage/younger inner self by making bracelets with pony beads - it's hella fun and I'm going to do more, but also using it as a bridge to do the same thing with seed beads - and thinking about making friendship bracelets.

(Told you so)

I'm thinking of selling, depending on the results c: