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( list here )What it says on the tin. I'm intending to delete my insanejournal very, very soon. Since that's the only place with my complete list of finished games, it's about time I mirrored it somewhere else. And since this is my new home on the interwebs, why not here?
(I will cut this list when it starts getting ridiculously long, but I so rarely finish games out right that no-one needs to worry about that right now).
( list here )
( list here )
Tags:
Some things, a list:
# it feels very autumnal this morning, and I am absolutely loving it!
# It was a good job I impulsively bought that heated airer, because the other morning, literally as I was about to go out of the door to work, my other (non-heated) airer broke on one side!
So I had to prop it up on some stuff, so that the wet washing wasn't touching the floor. I hoped it wouldn't collapse entirely while I was out of the house, and it did not, and I was pleased about that.
But yeah, that was a good call on past me's part!
# I have started rewatching the X-Men films because of partly spurious reasons (that you don't get to know), and partly because I dunno, it's been a while since I watched them last, and I haven't seen the more recent ones - I only got as far as Days of Future Past last time, despite buying Apocalypse at the time (I have had to buy Dark Phoenix, and I also got New Mutants, so now I feel my collection is complete :D )
I have a lot of nostalgia for the first film, but it is Not Good. The writing is awful, apart from a couple of lines here and there, and I spent some of the time wondering how some of the cast (primarily Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen) could say some of that with a completely straight face (but I guess that's why they call it acting, right? ;) - turns out I made exactly the same comment when I watched it ten years ago, lol ). That said, "I saved your life!" "No, you didn't." and "You ain't part of the group." have lived rent free in my head for the last twenty odd years, so...eh.
I feel X2 is better written and better paced, but I still feel like there's too much going on at once. I think they should have picked one thing and stuck to it rather than trying to cram two stories in there and added Phoenix stuff out of nowhere.
I have mixed feelings about how I will feel about X3, but I'll cross that bridge when I eventually get to it
# I have managed to finally make a tangible change in the house wrt redecorating! \o/ it's about bloody time!! I have new carpeting on the landing upstairs, which is probably a mistake because I haven't sorted the walls out yet (whether painting or wallpapering), but whatever. It is A Thing, and I did it, and I am stupid proud of myself!
# Nobody cares that I am playing Umamusume: Pretty Derby, but I wanted a list of my current wins, so I'm slapping it under a cut here:
( Read more... )
# I've got nothing else for the time being, I haven't really had a lot of time outside of work to do anything even remotely interesting. But perhaps that will change, who knows!
# it feels very autumnal this morning, and I am absolutely loving it!
# It was a good job I impulsively bought that heated airer, because the other morning, literally as I was about to go out of the door to work, my other (non-heated) airer broke on one side!
So I had to prop it up on some stuff, so that the wet washing wasn't touching the floor. I hoped it wouldn't collapse entirely while I was out of the house, and it did not, and I was pleased about that.
But yeah, that was a good call on past me's part!
# I have started rewatching the X-Men films because of partly spurious reasons (that you don't get to know), and partly because I dunno, it's been a while since I watched them last, and I haven't seen the more recent ones - I only got as far as Days of Future Past last time, despite buying Apocalypse at the time (I have had to buy Dark Phoenix, and I also got New Mutants, so now I feel my collection is complete :D )
I have a lot of nostalgia for the first film, but it is Not Good. The writing is awful, apart from a couple of lines here and there, and I spent some of the time wondering how some of the cast (primarily Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen) could say some of that with a completely straight face (but I guess that's why they call it acting, right? ;) - turns out I made exactly the same comment when I watched it ten years ago, lol ). That said, "I saved your life!" "No, you didn't." and "You ain't part of the group." have lived rent free in my head for the last twenty odd years, so...eh.
I feel X2 is better written and better paced, but I still feel like there's too much going on at once. I think they should have picked one thing and stuck to it rather than trying to cram two stories in there and added Phoenix stuff out of nowhere.
I have mixed feelings about how I will feel about X3, but I'll cross that bridge when I eventually get to it
# I have managed to finally make a tangible change in the house wrt redecorating! \o/ it's about bloody time!! I have new carpeting on the landing upstairs, which is probably a mistake because I haven't sorted the walls out yet (whether painting or wallpapering), but whatever. It is A Thing, and I did it, and I am stupid proud of myself!
# Nobody cares that I am playing Umamusume: Pretty Derby, but I wanted a list of my current wins, so I'm slapping it under a cut here:
( Read more... )# I've got nothing else for the time being, I haven't really had a lot of time outside of work to do anything even remotely interesting. But perhaps that will change, who knows!
In the time since I last updated, I have been ill with a cold, which sucked balls, obviously. I am getting better, but I have a lingering cough that's taking its sweet time fucking off.
I bought a portable wireless charger, since my phone can Do That (except I'd forgotten until now), and a customer had one when he came to pay at the till and I was like, "Oooh, I didn't know they made wireless ones!" I mean, I knew wireless chargers existed, I just didn't know there were portable ones. And now I do.
I also bought a heated airer, as I have wanted one for years, and made the mistake of looking at the sale on Dunelm's website. In fairness, I had gone on there to look at House Things (since that's what they sell, primarily), and I looked at none of the things I'd intended to, except paint. Which I did not buy, because I'd already decided on the airer. But it was 30% off, so I got it for just over fifty quid instead of almost eighty. And it will come in useful when the weather starts getting colder again (it was 27°C yesterday. DO NOT WANT. But also I mean like, a good twenty degrees cooler). And I am sure the cat will appreciate it because she likes being warm. I anticipate finding her sitting on it at some point.
I also had another doctor's appointment re: fibromyalgia, and I have been prescribed a slightly higher dosage of amitriptaline, and a review in six months' time. The doctor that I saw said at least twice that she was glad it was working for me, and I said, "So am I!" but also my internal mental monologue was like, "and thank fuck for that, because I know how annoying my body can be with medication."
And come the end of this month, I will have had this job for TWO YEARS! *throws confetti*
This is officially the longest I have had a (paid) job for, and I am very pleased with myself for being able to keep at it for this long.
I think that's everything for now - life is pretty much the same as usual, except I'm listening to more music than I am playing or watching other people play video games, which is great! I love music! But I don't have anything to say beyond that for now.
I bought a portable wireless charger, since my phone can Do That (except I'd forgotten until now), and a customer had one when he came to pay at the till and I was like, "Oooh, I didn't know they made wireless ones!" I mean, I knew wireless chargers existed, I just didn't know there were portable ones. And now I do.
I also bought a heated airer, as I have wanted one for years, and made the mistake of looking at the sale on Dunelm's website. In fairness, I had gone on there to look at House Things (since that's what they sell, primarily), and I looked at none of the things I'd intended to, except paint. Which I did not buy, because I'd already decided on the airer. But it was 30% off, so I got it for just over fifty quid instead of almost eighty. And it will come in useful when the weather starts getting colder again (it was 27°C yesterday. DO NOT WANT. But also I mean like, a good twenty degrees cooler). And I am sure the cat will appreciate it because she likes being warm. I anticipate finding her sitting on it at some point.
I also had another doctor's appointment re: fibromyalgia, and I have been prescribed a slightly higher dosage of amitriptaline, and a review in six months' time. The doctor that I saw said at least twice that she was glad it was working for me, and I said, "So am I!" but also my internal mental monologue was like, "and thank fuck for that, because I know how annoying my body can be with medication."
And come the end of this month, I will have had this job for TWO YEARS! *throws confetti*
This is officially the longest I have had a (paid) job for, and I am very pleased with myself for being able to keep at it for this long.
I think that's everything for now - life is pretty much the same as usual, except I'm listening to more music than I am playing or watching other people play video games, which is great! I love music! But I don't have anything to say beyond that for now.
I keep hoping that I'm going to have something vaguely interesting to say, but that hasn't happened (yet?)
Work has been intense lately. Yesterday and Sunday were two of the worst shifts I've done in forever. And I'm glad I've started sleeping better thanks to the amitriptaline, because I'm not sure how I would've coped otherwise several times over the last month or so, but especially the last couple of days.
There is a bright spot in all of this (aside from the meds doing the thing they're meant to), but I don't want to talk about it right now. But at least not everything is shit, let's put it that way.
And things are (hopefully) going to ease up, so there's that to look forward to.
I don't really have anything else to say at the moment, but at least y'all know I'm still around!
Work has been intense lately. Yesterday and Sunday were two of the worst shifts I've done in forever. And I'm glad I've started sleeping better thanks to the amitriptaline, because I'm not sure how I would've coped otherwise several times over the last month or so, but especially the last couple of days.
There is a bright spot in all of this (aside from the meds doing the thing they're meant to), but I don't want to talk about it right now. But at least not everything is shit, let's put it that way.
And things are (hopefully) going to ease up, so there's that to look forward to.
I don't really have anything else to say at the moment, but at least y'all know I'm still around!
Bullet points because I don't do coherent segues!
# I am not going to talk about how many hours I am working this week, suffice to say it's ridiculous. One shift was my own fault for taking it on, but the rest were not.
Maybe I'll whine about it next week.
# I was supposed to have counselling today, but I got a text from my counsellor very early on saying she was sorry, but she had to postpone our session because she wasn't feeling well. Which is fair! And also I'm relieved, because I didn't have anything specific to talk about, apart from telling her how my new meds are going. I'm hoping next time I speak to her, I will have a bigger update for her/something else to talk about, hopefully.
# I'm changing my mind about what I want to do with (some of) the walls in my house - I was originally going to wallpaper upstairs and paint downstairs, but now I think I might just paint the lot? Especially because I think the colour I picked for the hallway has been discontinued??? I have one can of it, but that won't be enough for all the walls that will need doing.
But it's annoying, because they've literally made this colour FOR YEARS, and now I choose it as the one I want, I can't get it anywhere!
(There is a similar colour by the same company, which hopefully is still in production, so I can get that, but I am currently very >:( at it all).
I don't know what I will do with the wallpaper I haven't used, though. (I did think about partially papering the front bedroom, but idk right now).
# Wyrdwood season 2 starts on Friday! I am very excite!! I won't get to watch it till at least Sunday evening, but I am excite all the same!
# I am not going to talk about how many hours I am working this week, suffice to say it's ridiculous. One shift was my own fault for taking it on, but the rest were not.
Maybe I'll whine about it next week.
# I was supposed to have counselling today, but I got a text from my counsellor very early on saying she was sorry, but she had to postpone our session because she wasn't feeling well. Which is fair! And also I'm relieved, because I didn't have anything specific to talk about, apart from telling her how my new meds are going. I'm hoping next time I speak to her, I will have a bigger update for her/something else to talk about, hopefully.
# I'm changing my mind about what I want to do with (some of) the walls in my house - I was originally going to wallpaper upstairs and paint downstairs, but now I think I might just paint the lot? Especially because I think the colour I picked for the hallway has been discontinued??? I have one can of it, but that won't be enough for all the walls that will need doing.
But it's annoying, because they've literally made this colour FOR YEARS, and now I choose it as the one I want, I can't get it anywhere!
(There is a similar colour by the same company, which hopefully is still in production, so I can get that, but I am currently very >:( at it all).
I don't know what I will do with the wallpaper I haven't used, though. (I did think about partially papering the front bedroom, but idk right now).
# Wyrdwood season 2 starts on Friday! I am very excite!! I won't get to watch it till at least Sunday evening, but I am excite all the same!
So I have finally been to the doctor about my pain issues!
Aside from the migraines, I told him that I think the joint pain is fibromyalgia, mainly because I'd looked it up as one of the artists I follow on youtube mentioned having it, and I didn't know exactly what it was.
You know those times where you sit and look at something and go, "OHHH FUCK" in realisation?
Yeah. I have pretty much all of the symptoms as listed on the NHS website, which I dutifully wrote down, and took with me, so that I could tell him all of this and not sound like I was flailing.
He has prescribed me amitriptaline, which will also help with the migraines, and I have to let them know in four to six weeks how things are going.
I also like that he didn't argue with my self-diagnosis, either. I went in kind of expecting it, because I don't know the doctor in question (he is new to the practice, so I haven't seen him before). So that was nice!
And talking of NHS related stuff, I have a follow up appointmentnext week the week after next for the surgical procedure I mentioned back at the beginning of the year (this will presumably be to assess when and how it will happen, IDK. I have already had the assessment with a surgeon).
~
In other news, there really isn't any! Work continues to happen, although perhaps things are looking up soon, but I don't want to put too much optimism into that just because I'm mildly sceptical about it.
I have four days off, which is nice - this is a week I tried to book off, which is why I was given the chunk of days, I think. I still need to talk to the person in charge of the rotas about holiday for next year, so I don't end up in this position again, though (my first actual holiday for this financial year is the first week in OCTOBER).
~
That's all I've got for now. Time to go and see what I can have for dinner!
Aside from the migraines, I told him that I think the joint pain is fibromyalgia, mainly because I'd looked it up as one of the artists I follow on youtube mentioned having it, and I didn't know exactly what it was.
You know those times where you sit and look at something and go, "OHHH FUCK" in realisation?
Yeah. I have pretty much all of the symptoms as listed on the NHS website, which I dutifully wrote down, and took with me, so that I could tell him all of this and not sound like I was flailing.
He has prescribed me amitriptaline, which will also help with the migraines, and I have to let them know in four to six weeks how things are going.
I also like that he didn't argue with my self-diagnosis, either. I went in kind of expecting it, because I don't know the doctor in question (he is new to the practice, so I haven't seen him before). So that was nice!
And talking of NHS related stuff, I have a follow up appointment
~
In other news, there really isn't any! Work continues to happen, although perhaps things are looking up soon, but I don't want to put too much optimism into that just because I'm mildly sceptical about it.
I have four days off, which is nice - this is a week I tried to book off, which is why I was given the chunk of days, I think. I still need to talk to the person in charge of the rotas about holiday for next year, so I don't end up in this position again, though (my first actual holiday for this financial year is the first week in OCTOBER).
~
That's all I've got for now. Time to go and see what I can have for dinner!
Work is extremely Not Great at the moment, as I have mentioned previously. TL;DR version is that I ended up doing almost thirty two hours last week (WAY over my contracted hours) - and I've just done four days in a row, and they were all long shifts, and by close yesterday, I was so tired I swear I could have fallen asleep standing up.
I also know I was a bit asshole-ish with a couple of people, because the more exhausted I get, the less I care to maintain my filters, so people get shitty me. But I am aware I do it, so maybe (especially in this job?) I maintain them a little bit more than I have done previously? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(though I did still want to punch the guy who said I was doing a great job in spite of the situation and although I'm sure he wasn't being patronising, I sure as heck felt like I was being patronised).
Anyway, I was already exhausted before all the *gestures at the situation* kicked off, and now I am more so. YAY. And I'm very sore, which sort of proves to me that at least some of my pain is a stress response, so I need to mention that to the doctor, when I eventually get an appointment.
~
In other news, I went to Burnley last week on one of my days off just for a "getting t f out of the house" trip, and ended up buying a bunch of stuff I didn't need (hands up who is surprised). And some stuff I did, like I finally got a rack and two small baking tins for my air fryer, so hopefully that will encourage me to use it a bit more, idk.
I also bought a scrapbook to use as a sketchbook, which is a terrible idea, but it is 30x30cm, and I sort of fancied a sketchbook in that size, so I'm going to see how annoying I find it without forking out as much money as it would have cost me. (Also I really like square sketchbooks? I don't know why but I do. And I have used books in the past that are not intended to be sketchbooks, so this is not a new turn of events).
And I went in CEX and bought Pillars of Eternity II and Stranger of Paradise. I picked that over FFVII Remake because, while I would rather play FFVII, I don't have a PS5 so I can play the rest of the parts. Stranger of Paradise is at least a standalone. I don't know how much it will make me want to punch myself in the face, but I am willing to give it a go.
Pillars of Eternity I know nothing about, apart from some of the soundtrack from the first game was used in Critical Role, and that's it.
I don't know when I will get to playing either game, as it's been ages since I wanted to switch on the PS4, and I just don't feel like I've had the energy to play games lately (for reasons stated above). But they'll still be there when I want them, though.
~
I don't think I've got anything else for the moment, and I've got counselling soon, so I shall end this entry here for now!
I also know I was a bit asshole-ish with a couple of people, because the more exhausted I get, the less I care to maintain my filters, so people get shitty me. But I am aware I do it, so maybe (especially in this job?) I maintain them a little bit more than I have done previously? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(though I did still want to punch the guy who said I was doing a great job in spite of the situation and although I'm sure he wasn't being patronising, I sure as heck felt like I was being patronised).
Anyway, I was already exhausted before all the *gestures at the situation* kicked off, and now I am more so. YAY. And I'm very sore, which sort of proves to me that at least some of my pain is a stress response, so I need to mention that to the doctor, when I eventually get an appointment.
~
In other news, I went to Burnley last week on one of my days off just for a "getting t f out of the house" trip, and ended up buying a bunch of stuff I didn't need (hands up who is surprised). And some stuff I did, like I finally got a rack and two small baking tins for my air fryer, so hopefully that will encourage me to use it a bit more, idk.
I also bought a scrapbook to use as a sketchbook, which is a terrible idea, but it is 30x30cm, and I sort of fancied a sketchbook in that size, so I'm going to see how annoying I find it without forking out as much money as it would have cost me. (Also I really like square sketchbooks? I don't know why but I do. And I have used books in the past that are not intended to be sketchbooks, so this is not a new turn of events).
And I went in CEX and bought Pillars of Eternity II and Stranger of Paradise. I picked that over FFVII Remake because, while I would rather play FFVII, I don't have a PS5 so I can play the rest of the parts. Stranger of Paradise is at least a standalone. I don't know how much it will make me want to punch myself in the face, but I am willing to give it a go.
Pillars of Eternity I know nothing about, apart from some of the soundtrack from the first game was used in Critical Role, and that's it.
I don't know when I will get to playing either game, as it's been ages since I wanted to switch on the PS4, and I just don't feel like I've had the energy to play games lately (for reasons stated above). But they'll still be there when I want them, though.
~
I don't think I've got anything else for the moment, and I've got counselling soon, so I shall end this entry here for now!
Some things, making a post:
# I had a migraine the other day with nausea so bad that it persisted not only into the following day, but it also lasted all day. Luckily(?), I was in work, so I didn't really have time to think about how gross I felt but blerghhhh, please can we not???
# Talking of which, I can't remember if I mentioned it, but I am on a waiting list to get an appointment at the doctor's to, in part, get help with the migraines. They were mostly bearable (in so far as such a thing can be), but the nausea is just. NOPE. NO THANK YOU.
# Yesterday, as I walked into work, I heard People Ruin Paintings on the radio playlist, which is one of the released singles from Critical Thinking and a) I almost sort of enjoyed it (and it was a nice surprise to hear a Manics song at work!) and b) it reminded me that I should listen to the album again, as I have not given it a fair chance yet because I wasn't initially impressed.
(Our store has a pre-built playlist that isn't like a "$Store Radio station" - it's just a giant, varied playlist that has occasional ads for offers or whatever. And, unlike my previous (paid) job, it is actual licensed music, rather than not).
# I ended up talking to two customers about reading, on two separate days!
The first one I hijacked a conversation he was having with a colleague, because I heard him say he has a lot trouble concentrating on reading, and I was like, "OMG SAME!!" Anyway, we chatted a bit, turns out he plays a lot of Vidya Gaems (also same). I told him maybe he's getting his narrative fix from that, as I think to some degree I am, and I said he shouldn't feel guilty about not reading books. I try not to, even though younger me is still mad that I can't concentrate on them like I used to.
And then the other one was an older customer, who's recently become a regular. He was asking about the playlist on the work radio, so I told him a bit about that, and then through some loops in conversation, we ended up talking about science-fiction books. He said he'd read 2001, and I had forgotten until he said it, but I have also read it (I remember nothing), and I talked a bit about Philip K Dick to him (he hasn't read a lot of him, and has seen more films based on his work instead. I am the opposite way around - I've seen Blade Runner and Total Recall and that's IT).
I also complimented a customer's phone case, as it had Hokusai's Wave on it, and that is my favourite Japanese print (I have it on a bunch of things, including multiple postcards, and the t-shirt I am currently wearing).
# I had to walk home from work, and then to work the following day because the bus timetable has changed - buses are now once hourly, and don't run when you need them to. Everything hurts, so I bought myself some pens to make up for it.
# Work is...not great at the moment, but I'm not going into it as to why (way too much explaining, and it's not remotely interesting; also unlocked post). Suffice to say I am very tired, and all I would like to do is sleep.
# that's all I've got for now. I'm going to have my dinner and maybe nap a bit afterwards.
# I had a migraine the other day with nausea so bad that it persisted not only into the following day, but it also lasted all day. Luckily(?), I was in work, so I didn't really have time to think about how gross I felt but blerghhhh, please can we not???
# Talking of which, I can't remember if I mentioned it, but I am on a waiting list to get an appointment at the doctor's to, in part, get help with the migraines. They were mostly bearable (in so far as such a thing can be), but the nausea is just. NOPE. NO THANK YOU.
# Yesterday, as I walked into work, I heard People Ruin Paintings on the radio playlist, which is one of the released singles from Critical Thinking and a) I almost sort of enjoyed it (and it was a nice surprise to hear a Manics song at work!) and b) it reminded me that I should listen to the album again, as I have not given it a fair chance yet because I wasn't initially impressed.
(Our store has a pre-built playlist that isn't like a "$Store Radio station" - it's just a giant, varied playlist that has occasional ads for offers or whatever. And, unlike my previous (paid) job, it is actual licensed music, rather than not).
# I ended up talking to two customers about reading, on two separate days!
The first one I hijacked a conversation he was having with a colleague, because I heard him say he has a lot trouble concentrating on reading, and I was like, "OMG SAME!!" Anyway, we chatted a bit, turns out he plays a lot of Vidya Gaems (also same). I told him maybe he's getting his narrative fix from that, as I think to some degree I am, and I said he shouldn't feel guilty about not reading books. I try not to, even though younger me is still mad that I can't concentrate on them like I used to.
And then the other one was an older customer, who's recently become a regular. He was asking about the playlist on the work radio, so I told him a bit about that, and then through some loops in conversation, we ended up talking about science-fiction books. He said he'd read 2001, and I had forgotten until he said it, but I have also read it (I remember nothing), and I talked a bit about Philip K Dick to him (he hasn't read a lot of him, and has seen more films based on his work instead. I am the opposite way around - I've seen Blade Runner and Total Recall and that's IT).
I also complimented a customer's phone case, as it had Hokusai's Wave on it, and that is my favourite Japanese print (I have it on a bunch of things, including multiple postcards, and the t-shirt I am currently wearing).
# I had to walk home from work, and then to work the following day because the bus timetable has changed - buses are now once hourly, and don't run when you need them to. Everything hurts, so I bought myself some pens to make up for it.
# Work is...not great at the moment, but I'm not going into it as to why (way too much explaining, and it's not remotely interesting; also unlocked post). Suffice to say I am very tired, and all I would like to do is sleep.
# that's all I've got for now. I'm going to have my dinner and maybe nap a bit afterwards.
So the streams I am watching of Clair Obscur are very close to the end, but I just wanted to note that yesterday the game made me cry twice, on a bank holiday morning, before 11am (I mean, it was my choice to watch it that early).
Large spoilers, imo, beware.
( Read more... )
I know it's not so much commentary on the game, but I did want to note that it did in fact tear my heart from my chest and stomp all over it, and not even in a good way.
Large spoilers, imo, beware.
( Read more... )I know it's not so much commentary on the game, but I did want to note that it did in fact tear my heart from my chest and stomp all over it, and not even in a good way.
I started watching a let's play of Clair Obscur (not me wanting to hang out with all the cool kids and experience a game I have no chance of playing, oh no), and as of the time of writing, I just got to Monoco's Station.
This game is very French, and I fucking love it. Even though the LPer is playing with the English dub, which is full of British VAs, and I also love that, the Frenchness pervades everything. And it reminds me how much I have liked French media that I've experienced in the past (and I also came to the realisation, I think, that this is a big part of why I love Pizza Tower - McPig (the main dev) is French-Canadian, but his (art)work is very European feeling*, and I really like that).
( spoilers herein )
Anyway, I think that's all I have to say for now. Maybe there will be more later, I don't know right now!
~
*It's not specifically French, as such, like it doesn't give me ligne claire vibes, but it's definitely something not American feeling, anyway. IMO.
This game is very French, and I fucking love it. Even though the LPer is playing with the English dub, which is full of British VAs, and I also love that, the Frenchness pervades everything. And it reminds me how much I have liked French media that I've experienced in the past (and I also came to the realisation, I think, that this is a big part of why I love Pizza Tower - McPig (the main dev) is French-Canadian, but his (art)work is very European feeling*, and I really like that).
( spoilers herein )Anyway, I think that's all I have to say for now. Maybe there will be more later, I don't know right now!
~
*It's not specifically French, as such, like it doesn't give me ligne claire vibes, but it's definitely something not American feeling, anyway. IMO.
Shout out the guy who came into my workplace wearing a Monkey Island t-shirt! He said I was the first (random) person to recognise what game it was from.
I guess I have Andy Farrant and Outside Xbox to thank for that!
There was also a guy about a week ago who came in wearing a t-shirt with Camus on it, and I was like, "That's not something you see every day." And he grinned, and said something along the lines of, "I'm trying to start a following."
And then we had a conversation about Camus, and he commiserated with me about how dry and boring La Peste is.
Also one of the regulars came in around the start of the month wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with Japanese text on it, and I am painfully aware that I spent most of the time I was speaking to him staring at his chest as if I was going to magically figure out what the words said (impossible, because I can't read Japanese).
Not a lot has happened in my life since I last posted - it's pretty much been the same old, same old. I did buy a new microwave, though, which is not very exciting, but it will be useful. It turns out I missed being able to nuke something once I got in from a late shift, and a lot of my upcoming shifts this next month are lates, so...I thought, why not buy one? Not like I can't afford it at the moment. So I did. And it cooks stuff in five minutes, which feels weird and wrong, but I am not complaining!
I also bought an external cd/dvd drive for my laptop, primarily so I can rip music, but also now I can watch dvds downstairs without having to lug the TV down here. Not that it is heavy, thank frog, just annoying. I do have a portable DVD player, but it is very old, and I'm thinking of getting rid of it anyway. And the screen is TINY, which isn't ideal. Also if I watch stuff on my computer, I can screencap to my heart's content :D
Maybe that means I'll actually get to watching all (most) of The X-Files/Buffy again, and maybe it won't, but at least the option is there if I want it.
...And I finally got to getting the Matrix films on blu-ray. You know, four years after I said I'd get them for my fortieth birthday?
But I was looking to see if Resurrections was available on blu-ray, and what do you know, all four films plus The Animatrix are available in a blu-ray boxset, and so: I clicked BUY and now they are arriving today!
So now I own the first film on four different types of media (VHS, DVD, UMD, and blu-ray), and the trilogy three times on DVDs alone (singles + two different boxsets).
Because I'm me, and this is entirely predictable, I feel.
Obviously I won't be able to watch these on my computer, but that's what the DVDs are for! ;)
And then finally, I've got my penultimate counselling session in a bit. Unfortunately, it has landed as I have the recurrent Seasonal Affective part of my depression, and the counsellor, while lovely, wants to improve my scores to the questionnaire I have to answer before every session. But depression doesn't work like that! And she knows that! I am not going to be cured and not feeling vaguely suicidal by next week! Although this isn't as bad as it has been (although the initial coming hit me like a truck), I am probably going to feel like this until at least September! Maybe if I'd had the counselling when I originally needed it, but not now.
So that's that for now. Time to go wait for things to arrive! (Exciting!)
I guess I have Andy Farrant and Outside Xbox to thank for that!
There was also a guy about a week ago who came in wearing a t-shirt with Camus on it, and I was like, "That's not something you see every day." And he grinned, and said something along the lines of, "I'm trying to start a following."
And then we had a conversation about Camus, and he commiserated with me about how dry and boring La Peste is.
Also one of the regulars came in around the start of the month wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with Japanese text on it, and I am painfully aware that I spent most of the time I was speaking to him staring at his chest as if I was going to magically figure out what the words said (impossible, because I can't read Japanese).
Not a lot has happened in my life since I last posted - it's pretty much been the same old, same old. I did buy a new microwave, though, which is not very exciting, but it will be useful. It turns out I missed being able to nuke something once I got in from a late shift, and a lot of my upcoming shifts this next month are lates, so...I thought, why not buy one? Not like I can't afford it at the moment. So I did. And it cooks stuff in five minutes, which feels weird and wrong, but I am not complaining!
I also bought an external cd/dvd drive for my laptop, primarily so I can rip music, but also now I can watch dvds downstairs without having to lug the TV down here. Not that it is heavy, thank frog, just annoying. I do have a portable DVD player, but it is very old, and I'm thinking of getting rid of it anyway. And the screen is TINY, which isn't ideal. Also if I watch stuff on my computer, I can screencap to my heart's content :D
Maybe that means I'll actually get to watching all (most) of The X-Files/Buffy again, and maybe it won't, but at least the option is there if I want it.
...And I finally got to getting the Matrix films on blu-ray. You know, four years after I said I'd get them for my fortieth birthday?
But I was looking to see if Resurrections was available on blu-ray, and what do you know, all four films plus The Animatrix are available in a blu-ray boxset, and so: I clicked BUY and now they are arriving today!
So now I own the first film on four different types of media (VHS, DVD, UMD, and blu-ray), and the trilogy three times on DVDs alone (singles + two different boxsets).
Because I'm me, and this is entirely predictable, I feel.
Obviously I won't be able to watch these on my computer, but that's what the DVDs are for! ;)
And then finally, I've got my penultimate counselling session in a bit. Unfortunately, it has landed as I have the recurrent Seasonal Affective part of my depression, and the counsellor, while lovely, wants to improve my scores to the questionnaire I have to answer before every session. But depression doesn't work like that! And she knows that! I am not going to be cured and not feeling vaguely suicidal by next week! Although this isn't as bad as it has been (although the initial coming hit me like a truck), I am probably going to feel like this until at least September! Maybe if I'd had the counselling when I originally needed it, but not now.
So that's that for now. Time to go wait for things to arrive! (Exciting!)
I am so. fucking. knackered.
Besides working five days/long shifts across last weekend into this week, I have had four migraines in the space of a week (some of which while I was at work!), and as a result, I feel like an abandoned lump of plasticine. And my wrist hurts, my right shoulder hurts, and I am so tired, y'all.
I'm just going to chill with the cat today, as it is seven years since she came to live with me! \o/ and I'm going to draw wonky hex maps by tracing a quilting template. I was going to fiddle around photocopying them to make the hexes smaller, but I don't know if I have the energy for that. So I won't.
I'm also going to eat Easter eggs, as it is appropriate, and I somehow have three (a very good problem to have), but I only bought one myself. (One of the others was from the store manager, the remaining one from my line manager).
Also also: I started using Finch on my phone, as my friend Chris has been using it for the past year and has found it useful for self-care. So I thought I'd try it out. Which is a long-winded way of saying if anyone wants to be friends on there, hit me up and I'll send you my friend code :D (also if you want to add me on Pikmin Bloom, let me know, as I am still playing that somehow).
(and my earplugs did turn up on the day of my previous post - not that long after I'd hit post, as it happens, so that was nice. They are taking some getting used to, but at least they're staying in my ears).
Besides working five days/long shifts across last weekend into this week, I have had four migraines in the space of a week (some of which while I was at work!), and as a result, I feel like an abandoned lump of plasticine. And my wrist hurts, my right shoulder hurts, and I am so tired, y'all.
I'm just going to chill with the cat today, as it is seven years since she came to live with me! \o/ and I'm going to draw wonky hex maps by tracing a quilting template. I was going to fiddle around photocopying them to make the hexes smaller, but I don't know if I have the energy for that. So I won't.
I'm also going to eat Easter eggs, as it is appropriate, and I somehow have three (a very good problem to have), but I only bought one myself. (One of the others was from the store manager, the remaining one from my line manager).
Also also: I started using Finch on my phone, as my friend Chris has been using it for the past year and has found it useful for self-care. So I thought I'd try it out. Which is a long-winded way of saying if anyone wants to be friends on there, hit me up and I'll send you my friend code :D (also if you want to add me on Pikmin Bloom, let me know, as I am still playing that somehow).
(and my earplugs did turn up on the day of my previous post - not that long after I'd hit post, as it happens, so that was nice. They are taking some getting used to, but at least they're staying in my ears).
So I finally bit the bullet and bought myself some Loop earplugs. I've been whiffling about it for almost a year now, so I finally went and did it.
Unfortunately, I will probably not be able to use them for the specific reason I bought them (work) as, even though they say they should stay in place, I don't want to risk losing them or be told to take them out by my line manager*. But I can at least have them with me for noisy times that aren't work (e.g. social situations/commutes/shopping, etc).
I do find it kind of hilarious that, for someone who is as noisy as I am**, I am SO noise-sensitive, though (and I swear it's getting worse as I get older).
Anyway, I was hoping they'd arrive today, but apparently they're coming tomorrow, so I guess at least I will have the Easter weekend to get used to them?
*Because I work in an environment with food, there's a lot of restrictions on what we are/aren't allowed to wear. I also can't have my nails painted, because they might chip, and that Irks Me Greatly.
**I was frequently told by both parents to shut up/be quiet when I was a child, and friends when I was younger used to note how loud I was, for example.
~
I started playing a solo RPG called Over the Mountain. It is not one of the ones from that bundle I bought the other day, merely a free one I found while noodling around on itch some time later.
It is going to take me forever to finish, assuming I want to finish it. I'm unsure at the moment; every time I put it down, I'm like, ehhhhh, but when I pick it up again, I'm kind of interested. I suppose the world building I am having to do is grating on me a little - it should ease off once I've got all the elements in place, though. I'm not saying it's not a good game; I am just having issues with my writing abilities still.
(Though it is making me think about making zines again, which is good! Because I have yet to finish a single one I've thought of - I think this is where I have imposter syndrome, weirdly. I feel like my offerings aren't good enough and yet the entire point of a zine is that it doesn't need to be polished and shiny. It just needs to exist).
~
Finally, I originally typed out the entire lists for my itch collections, but given the TTRPG list is nearing 150 items at the time of writing, I thought it more pertinent to reduce it to links instead, and you can click on whatever you think may be interesting to you? (assuming you want to, that is)
link to my profile so you can see what I already own
Visual Novels
TTRPGS
TTRPG Resources
Unclassified
Interactive Fiction
Card Games
Game Resources
Point and Click Games
Video Game RPGS
Please let me know if any links are borked, as I am tired and in pain as I write this.
~
GOG.com wishlist:
( Read more... )
~
...And now I'm going to go and sit in bed because I'm tired and I deserve it.
Unfortunately, I will probably not be able to use them for the specific reason I bought them (work) as, even though they say they should stay in place, I don't want to risk losing them or be told to take them out by my line manager*. But I can at least have them with me for noisy times that aren't work (e.g. social situations/commutes/shopping, etc).
I do find it kind of hilarious that, for someone who is as noisy as I am**, I am SO noise-sensitive, though (and I swear it's getting worse as I get older).
Anyway, I was hoping they'd arrive today, but apparently they're coming tomorrow, so I guess at least I will have the Easter weekend to get used to them?
*Because I work in an environment with food, there's a lot of restrictions on what we are/aren't allowed to wear. I also can't have my nails painted, because they might chip, and that Irks Me Greatly.
**I was frequently told by both parents to shut up/be quiet when I was a child, and friends when I was younger used to note how loud I was, for example.
~
I started playing a solo RPG called Over the Mountain. It is not one of the ones from that bundle I bought the other day, merely a free one I found while noodling around on itch some time later.
It is going to take me forever to finish, assuming I want to finish it. I'm unsure at the moment; every time I put it down, I'm like, ehhhhh, but when I pick it up again, I'm kind of interested. I suppose the world building I am having to do is grating on me a little - it should ease off once I've got all the elements in place, though. I'm not saying it's not a good game; I am just having issues with my writing abilities still.
(Though it is making me think about making zines again, which is good! Because I have yet to finish a single one I've thought of - I think this is where I have imposter syndrome, weirdly. I feel like my offerings aren't good enough and yet the entire point of a zine is that it doesn't need to be polished and shiny. It just needs to exist).
~
Finally, I originally typed out the entire lists for my itch collections, but given the TTRPG list is nearing 150 items at the time of writing, I thought it more pertinent to reduce it to links instead, and you can click on whatever you think may be interesting to you? (assuming you want to, that is)
link to my profile so you can see what I already own
Visual Novels
TTRPGS
TTRPG Resources
Unclassified
Interactive Fiction
Card Games
Game Resources
Point and Click Games
Video Game RPGS
Please let me know if any links are borked, as I am tired and in pain as I write this.
~
GOG.com wishlist:
( Read more... )~
...And now I'm going to go and sit in bed because I'm tired and I deserve it.
# For the second week running, the son of one of the regulars at work has tried to convince me to play Baldur's Gate 3.
He does not seem to realise he is fighting a losing battle*, but he is in his late teens/early twenties at best. I remember being that age and thinking everything I liked was hot shit and everyone else was wrong. He will learn (I hope; he does seem like a decent lad, so fingers crossed).
I also got into linguistic wrangling with another regular about whether being vegetarian means you can't eat fish (he seems to think it does, and maybe I shouldn't have said pescetarian to him because I don't know as he knew what I meant. Not because I think he's an idiot, but how often does anyone use that word?)
*I have no desire to play BG3 at all, let alone have anything capable of running it even if I did want to.
# A couple of weeks ago, I bought Jazz what I think is the best toy ever. As in she immediately played with it and hasn't stopped since (her radiator bed remains untouched).
Aldi were selling smooth wooden balls, so I got her one and she loves it! Although it does keep getting stuck in random places (so I have to fish it out), and it makes a loud SMACK! sound when it hits the living room door or the fireplace, as it is a solid piece of pine wood, but I'll deal with that because of how pleased I am that she'll play with it at all.
Best £2 I ever spent :D
(Talking of Jazz - I don't know if I mentioned the new bed I built? The last one was a divan, but the new one has space underneath it, and she likes it sit under there and tell me where she is. Also this one is closer to the floor, so it's easier for her to jump up on as well).
# itch.io has a bundle of 467 TTRPGs for just $5 (/£4.05 at the time of writing) in support of trans people in Ohio - I would not have found out about it but that a friend on fb posted about it, so I am passing this knowledge onto you, also.
I've always wanted to buy one of these bundles, but either not known about them, or not had the spare money. And now I do, and five bucks in nothing for all those games. (You also have the option of paying more if you want to).
(...and now I'm thinking about writing RPGs again...Although that's a vague lie - I was thinking about one I started but I have not finished just yesterday, before I even saw my friend's post).
# That's all I've got for now, I think.
He does not seem to realise he is fighting a losing battle*, but he is in his late teens/early twenties at best. I remember being that age and thinking everything I liked was hot shit and everyone else was wrong. He will learn (I hope; he does seem like a decent lad, so fingers crossed).
I also got into linguistic wrangling with another regular about whether being vegetarian means you can't eat fish (he seems to think it does, and maybe I shouldn't have said pescetarian to him because I don't know as he knew what I meant. Not because I think he's an idiot, but how often does anyone use that word?)
*I have no desire to play BG3 at all, let alone have anything capable of running it even if I did want to.
# A couple of weeks ago, I bought Jazz what I think is the best toy ever. As in she immediately played with it and hasn't stopped since (her radiator bed remains untouched).
Aldi were selling smooth wooden balls, so I got her one and she loves it! Although it does keep getting stuck in random places (so I have to fish it out), and it makes a loud SMACK! sound when it hits the living room door or the fireplace, as it is a solid piece of pine wood, but I'll deal with that because of how pleased I am that she'll play with it at all.
Best £2 I ever spent :D
(Talking of Jazz - I don't know if I mentioned the new bed I built? The last one was a divan, but the new one has space underneath it, and she likes it sit under there and tell me where she is. Also this one is closer to the floor, so it's easier for her to jump up on as well).
# itch.io has a bundle of 467 TTRPGs for just $5 (/£4.05 at the time of writing) in support of trans people in Ohio - I would not have found out about it but that a friend on fb posted about it, so I am passing this knowledge onto you, also.
I've always wanted to buy one of these bundles, but either not known about them, or not had the spare money. And now I do, and five bucks in nothing for all those games. (You also have the option of paying more if you want to).
(...and now I'm thinking about writing RPGs again...Although that's a vague lie - I was thinking about one I started but I have not finished just yesterday, before I even saw my friend's post).
# That's all I've got for now, I think.
I have been trying to cut down on buying things I don't need and I am getting better at it. Sort of.
I bought myself some Winsor and Newton Promarkers and Bristol Board a few weeks ago, because they were on sale on Cass Art's website, and I am all about alcohol markers at the moment. But I have to physically stop myself from buying more, cheaper ones (side eyes the Decotime set B&M sell), or buying more paint markers.
BUT. I just saw a massive set of Stabilo highlighters in varying tones for half price, and although I wanted them, I didn't buy them! And I'm pleased with myself.
I only really wanted it because I like the stands the bigger sets come with (and all those colours!), and because I saw some videos on pinterest, and I was jealous of the people who had all those colours. But I realised, looking at Stabilo's website, that actually I would have a heck of a lot of repeat colours (some of them tripled!) if I bought it. So I closed the website without buying it.
(I didn't manage so well earlier in the week buying Staedtler highlighters in classic highlighter colours, whoops).
But generally, I managed to not spend more money than went in my bank, and I am pleased with that! And that includes having to buy a new pair of glasses, which were not cheap (but obviously essential. Eyes are important!)
In other news, I fell into a hole of watching people playing Slay The Princess, and I am still not done with that, and I will miss it when it is gone. I have added it to my Steam wishlist, although I don't know if the laptop is capable of running it (and I don't want to play it right away now anyway). What a game that is! It is very much my catnip, and I don't know why I haven't investigated it sooner.
I also have started importing my Goodreads library to my Storygraph account - I would rather use the latter over the former, although I'm reading so little these days that it's probably pointless, but here we are. I am the same username as I am everywhere else (mostly) than here, which is rootsandbones. Y'know, if you want to add me, but you are obviously not obligated.
(I would not have even done this today but that![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
helvetica had posted a Storygraph screenshot on bsky showing how much she'd read and I was like, "WAIT A SEC I FORGOT THAT WAS A THING!" So I downloaded the app, but have had to do the import on the PC because it's easier).
Finally, I've got what I suspect will be my last counselling appointment later this morning. I say this because last week we ran out of things to talk about, partly because my mood has improved since I started it (though I suspect it is unrelated). So we ended the session early. I actually did think of a couple of things I want to talk about this week (emotional dysregulation, and some other stuff) so we'll see how that goes!
Other than that, it's been work/sleep/house stuff, as per usual!
(This entry feels disjointed - sorry for that. I just don't know what to talk about these days).
I bought myself some Winsor and Newton Promarkers and Bristol Board a few weeks ago, because they were on sale on Cass Art's website, and I am all about alcohol markers at the moment. But I have to physically stop myself from buying more, cheaper ones (side eyes the Decotime set B&M sell), or buying more paint markers.
BUT. I just saw a massive set of Stabilo highlighters in varying tones for half price, and although I wanted them, I didn't buy them! And I'm pleased with myself.
I only really wanted it because I like the stands the bigger sets come with (and all those colours!), and because I saw some videos on pinterest, and I was jealous of the people who had all those colours. But I realised, looking at Stabilo's website, that actually I would have a heck of a lot of repeat colours (some of them tripled!) if I bought it. So I closed the website without buying it.
(I didn't manage so well earlier in the week buying Staedtler highlighters in classic highlighter colours, whoops).
But generally, I managed to not spend more money than went in my bank, and I am pleased with that! And that includes having to buy a new pair of glasses, which were not cheap (but obviously essential. Eyes are important!)
In other news, I fell into a hole of watching people playing Slay The Princess, and I am still not done with that, and I will miss it when it is gone. I have added it to my Steam wishlist, although I don't know if the laptop is capable of running it (and I don't want to play it right away now anyway). What a game that is! It is very much my catnip, and I don't know why I haven't investigated it sooner.
I also have started importing my Goodreads library to my Storygraph account - I would rather use the latter over the former, although I'm reading so little these days that it's probably pointless, but here we are. I am the same username as I am everywhere else (mostly) than here, which is rootsandbones. Y'know, if you want to add me, but you are obviously not obligated.
(I would not have even done this today but that
helvetica had posted a Storygraph screenshot on bsky showing how much she'd read and I was like, "WAIT A SEC I FORGOT THAT WAS A THING!" So I downloaded the app, but have had to do the import on the PC because it's easier).Finally, I've got what I suspect will be my last counselling appointment later this morning. I say this because last week we ran out of things to talk about, partly because my mood has improved since I started it (though I suspect it is unrelated). So we ended the session early. I actually did think of a couple of things I want to talk about this week (emotional dysregulation, and some other stuff) so we'll see how that goes!
Other than that, it's been work/sleep/house stuff, as per usual!
(This entry feels disjointed - sorry for that. I just don't know what to talk about these days).
Final Fantasy XII was nineteen years old on the 16th, and I do not like it. How DARE my favourite game be that old!
I may have to replay it, but let's honest, when am I not thinking about replaying it?
(I mean also TWEWY is eighteen this year as well, but time is absolutely bullshit nonsense, right?)
~
I was thinking about posting my Steam games list/wishlist on here just so I had somewhere that didn't require me to log into Steam to look at it, so here they are:
( games list )
( wishlist )
And now I've done this I might make another entry with my itch.io and GOG lists in, but that can wait for another day.
I may have to replay it, but let's honest, when am I not thinking about replaying it?
(I mean also TWEWY is eighteen this year as well, but time is absolutely bullshit nonsense, right?)
~
I was thinking about posting my Steam games list/wishlist on here just so I had somewhere that didn't require me to log into Steam to look at it, so here they are:
( games list )( wishlist )And now I've done this I might make another entry with my itch.io and GOG lists in, but that can wait for another day.
Bullet points because omg my brain right now:
# I always try to buy daffodils around the end of Feb/beginning of March, because the first of March is Saint David's Day and I am, in case you didn't know, half Welsh. Also, just looking at them makes me so happy, and there aren't any wild ones nearby. And they're dirt cheap - case in point, I got two bunches of fifteen from Aldi the other day for less than £2 for both bunches. And they've opened, and there's so many of them, and I just feel absolute pure joy looking at them.
# I have had my hours increased at work! Not by a lot, but by enough, and that's fine by me.
# I had to buy a new pair of glasses, as the coating was coming off the old ones, and it was affecting my vision to the point where I was just like, "FUCK THIS!"
So that was an expense I didn't need, but it was one I made anyway because eyes are fucking important (even my extremely defective ones).
# I have finally had my first counselling session! We seemed to hop topics a lot - it felt like I was mostly bringing the person I was speaking to up to speed with my family situation. It also felt a lot like "person with alexithymia definitely proves they have it but doesn't actually say so".
And I felt really fucking validated when near to the end of the session, she said, "So you haven't had an easy life, then." And I was like, no, I haven't, thank you for seeing that. (And she doesn't even know some of the shitty stuff that happened! Just what I told her in the course of an hour).
Oh, and! When I told her how I felt while taking antidepressants, she confirmed that most people tend to feel flattened out emotionally on them. Like. I thought that was sort of just a me thing - I have had one friend confirm she also felt that way, but it has been literally one. So it was nice to know that wasn't just a me thing at all.
I don't know how useful it will end up being, especially because it's an NHS set amount of sessions (4 to 6, depending on your needs). I guess if I needed more, I would have to look into private healthcare, but that would be Expensive. I'll see how this goes, and if it helps any first.
# I bought four albums, all at once: the Everhood soundtrack; the Pizza Tower soundtrack; Everything Must Go (20th anniversary edition); and Critical Thinking by the Manic Street Preachers.
I also downloaded a program called Bosca Ceoil Blue, which is a tracker for making music. Which is the way I am used to making music - way back in t'day I used to noodle around in a program called Acid and had heaps of fun, so I'm going to have a go at plonking around in this and see what happens.
# ...I made the mistake of downloading Cookie Clicker, and that's all I'm saying. If you know, you know.
# I always try to buy daffodils around the end of Feb/beginning of March, because the first of March is Saint David's Day and I am, in case you didn't know, half Welsh. Also, just looking at them makes me so happy, and there aren't any wild ones nearby. And they're dirt cheap - case in point, I got two bunches of fifteen from Aldi the other day for less than £2 for both bunches. And they've opened, and there's so many of them, and I just feel absolute pure joy looking at them.
# I have had my hours increased at work! Not by a lot, but by enough, and that's fine by me.
# I had to buy a new pair of glasses, as the coating was coming off the old ones, and it was affecting my vision to the point where I was just like, "FUCK THIS!"
So that was an expense I didn't need, but it was one I made anyway because eyes are fucking important (even my extremely defective ones).
# I have finally had my first counselling session! We seemed to hop topics a lot - it felt like I was mostly bringing the person I was speaking to up to speed with my family situation. It also felt a lot like "person with alexithymia definitely proves they have it but doesn't actually say so".
And I felt really fucking validated when near to the end of the session, she said, "So you haven't had an easy life, then." And I was like, no, I haven't, thank you for seeing that. (And she doesn't even know some of the shitty stuff that happened! Just what I told her in the course of an hour).
Oh, and! When I told her how I felt while taking antidepressants, she confirmed that most people tend to feel flattened out emotionally on them. Like. I thought that was sort of just a me thing - I have had one friend confirm she also felt that way, but it has been literally one. So it was nice to know that wasn't just a me thing at all.
I don't know how useful it will end up being, especially because it's an NHS set amount of sessions (4 to 6, depending on your needs). I guess if I needed more, I would have to look into private healthcare, but that would be Expensive. I'll see how this goes, and if it helps any first.
# I bought four albums, all at once: the Everhood soundtrack; the Pizza Tower soundtrack; Everything Must Go (20th anniversary edition); and Critical Thinking by the Manic Street Preachers.
I also downloaded a program called Bosca Ceoil Blue, which is a tracker for making music. Which is the way I am used to making music - way back in t'day I used to noodle around in a program called Acid and had heaps of fun, so I'm going to have a go at plonking around in this and see what happens.
# ...I made the mistake of downloading Cookie Clicker, and that's all I'm saying. If you know, you know.
Okay so, I had two and a half weeks off work.
I was ill for the majority of that time, so I didn't manage to get as much stuff done as I wanted, which was frankly really fucking annoying. I had migraines or headaches on the first week, and then shitty meds side effects. (It happens from time to time with the one medication I am on, luckily not very frequently, but for some reason this time was The Worst since the time I've been on it).
I had made a to-do list, and I did get the most of that done, but it wasn't as much as I wanted to do. I spent more time watching streams/playing vidya (either Balatro, or Dorfromantik, which I finally bought myself for my birthday). The landing walls, which I had hoped to have papered by now, are still in a state of half-stripped disarray, and I am unhappy about that.
But. I'm not telling myself off about it. I deliberately did not try to push myself when I felt like ass, because I knew I would end up making myself feel worse (either physically or psychologically, or probably even both).
I had wanted to go out on my bike as well, but between the way I felt and the weather (it mostly rained or was cold, or both), I didn't.
Anyway. I had about a week's reprieve, and now I have a sinus infection, so I feel like ass again. I would spend the day loafing around the house today, but that I have to do a food shop and have a blood test later. But luckily that's the most I have to do. (Except for maybe asking one of the tattoo places about my next tattoo, and possibly piercings*, if they do them. The place I got my previous tattoos done does, but the owner prefers online contact to in-person for making appointments and I would rather talk to an actual person!)
So yeah, Dorfromantik! OMG it is the BEST game. It's exactly as chill as I thought (so much so my fitbit thinks I'm asleep when I'm playing it a lot of the time because my heart rate is so low), and it scratches my map building itch. I got really emotional when I first started playing it when I first got to use the tiles with the deer and the beavers, because you can see them moving about in the landscape and I just. I dunno. I just love it. It's a good, chill time. The only thing I think it's missing is the ability to make hillsides, as everything is on a flat plane, but other than that, no complaints at all!
(I totally abandoned Balatro for it, lol whoops. I do want to go back to that at some point, though, as I was on the verge of getting the hang of the black deck on basic stakes).
Oh, and I bought the cat a radiator bed to use, as I thought she would like it but, to no-one's surprise, she will not even investigate it. (I suspected this would happen, which is why I haven't bought her one before now, but hey ho. At least I guess I know I was right?)
~
*Nothing exciting, I just want my earlobes done a third time. I had considered a helix piercing, but decided against it for now.
I was ill for the majority of that time, so I didn't manage to get as much stuff done as I wanted, which was frankly really fucking annoying. I had migraines or headaches on the first week, and then shitty meds side effects. (It happens from time to time with the one medication I am on, luckily not very frequently, but for some reason this time was The Worst since the time I've been on it).
I had made a to-do list, and I did get the most of that done, but it wasn't as much as I wanted to do. I spent more time watching streams/playing vidya (either Balatro, or Dorfromantik, which I finally bought myself for my birthday). The landing walls, which I had hoped to have papered by now, are still in a state of half-stripped disarray, and I am unhappy about that.
But. I'm not telling myself off about it. I deliberately did not try to push myself when I felt like ass, because I knew I would end up making myself feel worse (either physically or psychologically, or probably even both).
I had wanted to go out on my bike as well, but between the way I felt and the weather (it mostly rained or was cold, or both), I didn't.
Anyway. I had about a week's reprieve, and now I have a sinus infection, so I feel like ass again. I would spend the day loafing around the house today, but that I have to do a food shop and have a blood test later. But luckily that's the most I have to do. (Except for maybe asking one of the tattoo places about my next tattoo, and possibly piercings*, if they do them. The place I got my previous tattoos done does, but the owner prefers online contact to in-person for making appointments and I would rather talk to an actual person!)
So yeah, Dorfromantik! OMG it is the BEST game. It's exactly as chill as I thought (so much so my fitbit thinks I'm asleep when I'm playing it a lot of the time because my heart rate is so low), and it scratches my map building itch. I got really emotional when I first started playing it when I first got to use the tiles with the deer and the beavers, because you can see them moving about in the landscape and I just. I dunno. I just love it. It's a good, chill time. The only thing I think it's missing is the ability to make hillsides, as everything is on a flat plane, but other than that, no complaints at all!
(I totally abandoned Balatro for it, lol whoops. I do want to go back to that at some point, though, as I was on the verge of getting the hang of the black deck on basic stakes).
Oh, and I bought the cat a radiator bed to use, as I thought she would like it but, to no-one's surprise, she will not even investigate it. (I suspected this would happen, which is why I haven't bought her one before now, but hey ho. At least I guess I know I was right?)
~
*Nothing exciting, I just want my earlobes done a third time. I had considered a helix piercing, but decided against it for now.
House stuff!
I bought some wallpaper and it is here, as is the paste. I severely underestimated how long it would take to strip the old wallpaper off the walls (I thought it would be easy, given its advanced age, hahahaha). So I'm going to cheat with a couple of the walls (one has a plug socket, and I don't want water running down into it for obvious reasons), and just paper straight over them.
Besides, I will have plenty more opportunities to strip old wallpaper, as I decided I'm going to paint the downstairs hallway and also the stairs walls.
I bought a paint tester of a very pale blue Dulux paint* the other day, stripped a bit of the wall, and applied it. And although it's not as pale as I anticipated now it's dried, I think it's the right choice. The hallway/staircase is the darkest section of the house, so it needs something to brighten it up. Now I just need to strip the walls, heh. But that can wait. I'm wallpapering first!
I'm also going to repaint the cupboard/room doors, as they really need it, and they are currently a boring cream colour. They'll probably end up some shade of blue or green, but a lot darker than the walls, I'm thinking. But that's for a much later date to think about.
~
In non-house news, I bought Balatro, and I am thoroughly suckered into that game, omg. I don't know as I understand the rules one hundred percent, but I'm having fun. Which is the main thing!
I also discovered some new artists, and spent a lot of yesterday on pinterest just looking at art, which was nice! I also woke up excited to draw, and I did actually then do that! Not a lot, but I am focussing on drawing people, as it's something I want to do, and miss doing. It's also my comfort zone, as it's something I've done (almost) persistently since I was a teenager and I taught myself to draw.
And because of the one artist I discovered, I thought about buying myself an A3 sketchbook for a birthday present. This is not a new urge, I was going to do it a year ago, but I didn't (for whatever reason; it's possible the store I was in didn't have the exact thing I wanted, so I couldn't get it). HOWEVER. When I used an A4 sketchbook about a year ago, I was like, "FUCK ME THIS THING IS MASSIVE!" as I'd got used to drawing in smaller (A5) books. So an A3 one feels like infinite massiveness in comparison.
(But I get why that artist uses sketchbooks that size - her art is very detailed and, obviously, the bigger you draw, the more detail you can put in. I myself do not really do very detailed work, so do I need a book that big? Probably not).
I also also did a run to a charity shop the other day. It's needed doing, and I was just putting it off. And it got me out of the house. The stuff I was taking wasn't particularly heavy, more bulky and, while it was a pain in the arse to take on the bus, I did it, and now it's done. And I am going again next week with some more stuff, but possibly not to the same place.
~
*Mineral Mist, for anyone who's interested.
I bought some wallpaper and it is here, as is the paste. I severely underestimated how long it would take to strip the old wallpaper off the walls (I thought it would be easy, given its advanced age, hahahaha). So I'm going to cheat with a couple of the walls (one has a plug socket, and I don't want water running down into it for obvious reasons), and just paper straight over them.
Besides, I will have plenty more opportunities to strip old wallpaper, as I decided I'm going to paint the downstairs hallway and also the stairs walls.
I bought a paint tester of a very pale blue Dulux paint* the other day, stripped a bit of the wall, and applied it. And although it's not as pale as I anticipated now it's dried, I think it's the right choice. The hallway/staircase is the darkest section of the house, so it needs something to brighten it up. Now I just need to strip the walls, heh. But that can wait. I'm wallpapering first!
I'm also going to repaint the cupboard/room doors, as they really need it, and they are currently a boring cream colour. They'll probably end up some shade of blue or green, but a lot darker than the walls, I'm thinking. But that's for a much later date to think about.
~
In non-house news, I bought Balatro, and I am thoroughly suckered into that game, omg. I don't know as I understand the rules one hundred percent, but I'm having fun. Which is the main thing!
I also discovered some new artists, and spent a lot of yesterday on pinterest just looking at art, which was nice! I also woke up excited to draw, and I did actually then do that! Not a lot, but I am focussing on drawing people, as it's something I want to do, and miss doing. It's also my comfort zone, as it's something I've done (almost) persistently since I was a teenager and I taught myself to draw.
And because of the one artist I discovered, I thought about buying myself an A3 sketchbook for a birthday present. This is not a new urge, I was going to do it a year ago, but I didn't (for whatever reason; it's possible the store I was in didn't have the exact thing I wanted, so I couldn't get it). HOWEVER. When I used an A4 sketchbook about a year ago, I was like, "FUCK ME THIS THING IS MASSIVE!" as I'd got used to drawing in smaller (A5) books. So an A3 one feels like infinite massiveness in comparison.
(But I get why that artist uses sketchbooks that size - her art is very detailed and, obviously, the bigger you draw, the more detail you can put in. I myself do not really do very detailed work, so do I need a book that big? Probably not).
I also also did a run to a charity shop the other day. It's needed doing, and I was just putting it off. And it got me out of the house. The stuff I was taking wasn't particularly heavy, more bulky and, while it was a pain in the arse to take on the bus, I did it, and now it's done. And I am going again next week with some more stuff, but possibly not to the same place.
~
*Mineral Mist, for anyone who's interested.
List, because why not?
1. I finally redyed my hair again. I have been doing it off and on since July, but not consistently the same colour. I bought the wrong shade of the right make, then tried one someone I work with suggested. I liked the suggested one, but the hair colour wasn't bright enough for me, heh. It looked like a more natural red-brown than I wanted. And then, IDK, a couple of months went by without me realising, and suddenly my roots were very visible, and so was my grey streak at the front. But now I am back to the right shade of red, and I am happy :)
2. I'm looking forward to my two weeks off work! Gonna play lots of video games (I am *this close* to buying Balatro, lol) and do some wallpapering!
I'm also going to do my nails, because I haven't for ages. It's probably not a good idea, given I will be doing some interior decorating, but I actually feel like I want to do it, so I shall!
3. Talking of house stuff, the front bedroom is still not really a viable work space BUT. I am still really pleased with what I've managed to achieve in a year. And I've been working on other rooms/spaces besides that one as well, and it is mainly just me doing stuff. None of it is perfect, but that's okay.
4. I've had another text from the mental health folks to tell me they haven't forgotten me. I guess at least they're sending texts, rather than letting me fester in a void of ignorance?
(I forgot to mention on the last post that I was told at my initial assessment that I could contact them directly if things got any worse. Which I would do, obviously. Luckily, I'm just trucking along at the moment. But it doesn't mean I don't think the state of mental health care could be improved a lot).
5. I don't think I have a fifth thing, but five things make a post, right?
1. I finally redyed my hair again. I have been doing it off and on since July, but not consistently the same colour. I bought the wrong shade of the right make, then tried one someone I work with suggested. I liked the suggested one, but the hair colour wasn't bright enough for me, heh. It looked like a more natural red-brown than I wanted. And then, IDK, a couple of months went by without me realising, and suddenly my roots were very visible, and so was my grey streak at the front. But now I am back to the right shade of red, and I am happy :)
2. I'm looking forward to my two weeks off work! Gonna play lots of video games (I am *this close* to buying Balatro, lol) and do some wallpapering!
I'm also going to do my nails, because I haven't for ages. It's probably not a good idea, given I will be doing some interior decorating, but I actually feel like I want to do it, so I shall!
3. Talking of house stuff, the front bedroom is still not really a viable work space BUT. I am still really pleased with what I've managed to achieve in a year. And I've been working on other rooms/spaces besides that one as well, and it is mainly just me doing stuff. None of it is perfect, but that's okay.
4. I've had another text from the mental health folks to tell me they haven't forgotten me. I guess at least they're sending texts, rather than letting me fester in a void of ignorance?
(I forgot to mention on the last post that I was told at my initial assessment that I could contact them directly if things got any worse. Which I would do, obviously. Luckily, I'm just trucking along at the moment. But it doesn't mean I don't think the state of mental health care could be improved a lot).
5. I don't think I have a fifth thing, but five things make a post, right?
