all made up with nowhere to go

I am so. fucking. knackered.

Besides working five days/long shifts across last weekend into this week, I have had four migraines in the space of a week (some of which while I was at work!), and as a result, I feel like an abandoned lump of plasticine. And my wrist hurts, my right shoulder hurts, and I am so tired, y'all.

I'm just going to chill with the cat today, as it is seven years since she came to live with me! \o/ and I'm going to draw wonky hex maps by tracing a quilting template. I was going to fiddle around photocopying them to make the hexes smaller, but I don't know if I have the energy for that. So I won't.

I'm also going to eat Easter eggs, as it is appropriate, and I somehow have three (a very good problem to have), but I only bought one myself. (One of the others was from the store manager, the remaining one from my line manager).

Also also: I started using Finch on my phone, as my friend Chris has been using it for the past year and has found it useful for self-care. So I thought I'd try it out. Which is a long-winded way of saying if anyone wants to be friends on there, hit me up and I'll send you my friend code :D (also if you want to add me on Pikmin Bloom, let me know, as I am still playing that somehow).

(and my earplugs did turn up on the day of my previous post - not that long after I'd hit post, as it happens, so that was nice. They are taking some getting used to, but at least they're staying in my ears).

Okay so, I had two and a half weeks off work.

I was ill for the majority of that time, so I didn't manage to get as much stuff done as I wanted, which was frankly really fucking annoying. I had migraines or headaches on the first week, and then shitty meds side effects. (It happens from time to time with the one medication I am on, luckily not very frequently, but for some reason this time was The Worst since the time I've been on it).

I had made a to-do list, and I did get the most of that done, but it wasn't as much as I wanted to do. I spent more time watching streams/playing vidya (either Balatro, or Dorfromantik, which I finally bought myself for my birthday). The landing walls, which I had hoped to have papered by now, are still in a state of half-stripped disarray, and I am unhappy about that.

But. I'm not telling myself off about it. I deliberately did not try to push myself when I felt like ass, because I knew I would end up making myself feel worse (either physically or psychologically, or probably even both).

I had wanted to go out on my bike as well, but between the way I felt and the weather (it mostly rained or was cold, or both), I didn't.

Anyway. I had about a week's reprieve, and now I have a sinus infection, so I feel like ass again. I would spend the day loafing around the house today, but that I have to do a food shop and have a blood test later. But luckily that's the most I have to do. (Except for maybe asking one of the tattoo places about my next tattoo, and possibly piercings*, if they do them. The place I got my previous tattoos done does, but the owner prefers online contact to in-person for making appointments and I would rather talk to an actual person!)

So yeah, Dorfromantik! OMG it is the BEST game. It's exactly as chill as I thought (so much so my fitbit thinks I'm asleep when I'm playing it a lot of the time because my heart rate is so low), and it scratches my map building itch. I got really emotional when I first started playing it when I first got to use the tiles with the deer and the beavers, because you can see them moving about in the landscape and I just. I dunno. I just love it. It's a good, chill time. The only thing I think it's missing is the ability to make hillsides, as everything is on a flat plane, but other than that, no complaints at all!

(I totally abandoned Balatro for it, lol whoops. I do want to go back to that at some point, though, as I was on the verge of getting the hang of the black deck on basic stakes).

Oh, and I bought the cat a radiator bed to use, as I thought she would like it but, to no-one's surprise, she will not even investigate it. (I suspected this would happen, which is why I haven't bought her one before now, but hey ho. At least I guess I know I was right?)

~

*Nothing exciting, I just want my earlobes done a third time. I had considered a helix piercing, but decided against it for now.

You know, I realised that on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday next week (AND the week after!), I do not have to go anywhere or do anything and omg the relief that washed over me when I realised that.

Delightful.

I seem to have been doing SO MUCH the past few weeks, and I've found it exhausting. I had to take Jazz to the vet for her 6 month check-up yesterday and, by the time we left the house, I felt like I was running on fumes. I feel better now, but blerrghhhh not a fan.

(Jazz is fine, btw, she's just put the weight back on that she lost last year, and I fully admit it's probably my fault for giving her too many biscuits).

Anyway, I have the final question for the Post Once A Day Meme, and you will not be surprised in any way to discover that it is late!

It is from lassarina, and she asks: What (in your own opinion) makes a good streamer?

Pretty much it boils down to someone who is engaging with the game and their viewers. I'm not going to say enjoying the game, because I have watched some people play games that they are clearly not enjoying - Aoife playing Stranger of Paradise springs to mind, for example, as she was having a terrible time with it, but I still watched the entire stream. I think what I mean by engaging with the game is that they're not just playing it for the views? Like they don't look bored, they at least look like they want it to improve (if it's bad), or they are enjoying themselves, or some kind of middle ground.

I like people who acknowledge their chat commenters (and regular commenters), but don't spend the entire time reading the chat instead of playing the game - one thing I like about the Oxboxtra and Eurogamer streams where it's more than one person is that someone can be playing the game, but someone else can keep an eye on what people are saying. Although shout out to Luke during Ellen's Dark Souls streams for saying from the start that nobody is looking at the chat and will not respond to them (because we know what DS fans are like, right?)

I don't like people who mess around in games a lot - if I want to see that, I can do it myself. I've had a hard time watching some streams that Ian from EG has done on his personal channel, because it's clear he just wants to muck about for a bit instead, and he has every right to - it's his channel and he can play a game how he pleases. I mean, sometimes I can take it, but not a lot of the time.

I don't watch art/craft streams so much (although shout out to Doodle Date, my 100% favourite Youtube channel! because I do watch their streams), although if I did it would be the same sort of thing. Someone who's enjoying what they're doing, and not being an idiot just because they've got an audience. And not doing a thing just because it's popular and will get them the views.

Oh, oh, AND: most importantly: somebody who doesn't ragequit because they got a game over/lost on a level/lost a match/etc. I don't watch people who do that, but I know that that kind of game streamer exists. It strikes me as quite childish, tbh. I mean, I have thrown my controller once, but I only did it once, and, honestly, I don't see what the point is. Not like you can't do it over, is it?

(And I appreciate people who grind levels off stream, even if they get accused of "cheating" when they do it).

I think that's everything! No-one I watch on yt is perfect at streaming (sorry), but I enjoy watching them all the same.

No, you spent some of the last few days watching videos about what Final Fantasy Versus XIII could have been and got sad. And then watched some more videos where some fans took some stuff that happens in KHIII way too literally and got kind of annoyed at them (and also annoyed at Nomura, because if these people are right, then he just doesn't know how to let things be. I get not wanting to abandon a neat idea, and I am sad Versus XIII didn't happen, but also like, he had a chance to make it happen, and things didn't pan out, and maybe they weren't meant to. It feels harsh saying that, but it is kind of how I feel).

This started from reading how much of FFXV was cut before it got released. Which also made me sad, because I'm sure most of you reading this already know my feelings about the game we got. (tl;dr version: it could have been so, so much better).

~

In other game news, Johnny streamed the last part of The Excavation of Hob's Barrow yesterday and oh wow. That did not go where I expected (although I'm kind of glad about that).

It was definitely the right game for the season, and it definitely gave me the spoops, as I literally jumped when I got an email notification on my phone after the stream had ended.

I'd definitely recommend it, if you like point and click games that are kind of creepy.

~

And then, in me related things: I went to Burnley in search of cat food**, and ended up buying some new pens and pencils, because I'm me. And Dragon Age: Inquisition for the PS4.

I promise I did get the cat food, too. I actually managed to find it in the store I hoped would have it for cheap, so that was good!

The pens are Zebra Ola gel pens, and some Sharpie gel pens which I ordinarily wouldn't have got, but they were half marked price, making them £2 for three pens! The pencils are some Staedtler ones I've never heard of, but since my favourite ever pencils are the Noris yellow and black ones, I thought I would give these a try.

So yeah, DA:I.

I don't know that I will play it any time soon, but at least I have it now? I'm mostly excited about running around Crestwood before closing the rift there, because that's my favourite part of the game. I also like the deserty levels a lot, but I realised Crestwood is where my heart really wants to be, heh.

It's taken me a good nine months to get hold of it. Like, CEX's website has said repeatedly that Burnley's store has had one singular copy in, but I've never been able to find it until now, as it was not with the rest of the games whose titles start with Dragon, which didn't help! I think it's down to people not putting stuff back where they got it from, as I also picked up Code Vein to look at, realised it wasn't in the right place, and slotted it back where it needed to be.

Other than that, I now actually have a physical copy of Gideon the Ninth to read! It is sitting on my desk, awaiting my picking it up and looking at it. I think the writing style will be okay; I flicked through a couple of pages and it didn't seem grating, so hopefully I will get on all right with it!

And that's about it for now.

~

*By which I mean, Gamers™.

**Jazz is picky, and will only eat one brand of wet food, which I've been having difficulty getting hold of of late.

Ok, so. I live in the middle of nowheresville, UK. Yesterday, the temperature in my village peaked at 36°C (~97°F).

It started to drop off pretty swiftly after that (although it was mid to high twenties at 9PM, which is still ludicrous), thanks to a cold front making its way downtown across the country.

I dread to think what it would have been like had I been in a city, or even a big town.

I was able to keep at least the living room pretty cool - yesterday at max temps, it was ~12°* cooler in here thanks to keeping the curtains drawn for the majority of the day, which I had also done on the previous two days. I kept the front facing bedroom curtains drawn the entire time, and I don't know if that helped or not as I don't have a thermometer up there.

I was kind of more worried about Jazz than me. She seemed to be fine, but I gave her extra brushing, since she has really dense fur, and apparently it helps to keep cats cooler because it gets the loose undercoat fur out. I also put ice in all her water bowls, and stroked her with damp flannel from time to time (she let me do it, but I don't think she was into it). She's chirpier today, now it's cooler (a whopping 17°C as I write this!), which makes sense, and also you would be, especially if you had to live in a fur coat all the time.

Also: sleeping with a damp whatever on you is genius! I only wet a flannel, but omg it was amazing.

I have a fan that one of the volunteers from work gave me, but I haven't used it yet. I might do just to clear some of the fug upstairs because it feels horrible up there. I'm glad I'm in a house and not a flat**.

I mostly listened to music on my tablet, or watched Youtube, and did some work on future prints for my shop. This isn't much different from what I usually do, but it also meant I didn't have to move much, or have extra electrics on which would generate heat - my only permanently switched on things are the fridge/freezer and the router, and this is true all year round.

So I survived, but I wish I didn't have to word it like that, and I wish I hadn't had to experience it. Temps in the UK are only supposed to be mid twenties, max (although I'd argue with that, and say it should be low twenties). I want to say I hope it doesn't happen again, but I know it will. I've been watching videos from the weather forecasters saying this isn't going to be a one off. Which. Yeah. Great. Looking forward to that [/sarcasm]

I don't know how to end this part, but I thought y'all might at least like to know I'm okay (I wasn't sure I would be), and that I'm still here.

~

In happier news, Ellen from Outside Xtra streamed Stray, which is that cat game everyone's been going bananas about.

I really liked it, apart from the bits that upset me (but as I am feeling wonky rn, not really a surprise. Also it's a cat). ( SPOILERS! )

And she's going to stream more of it! \o/

~

*I don't know exactly, as what I have in the living room is a "weather station", but the weather predictions are never accurate, and it was a free gift my mum got with something nearly ten years ago, so it won't be amazing quality. But it was WAY cooler and less humid in than out, and that's really all that matters.

**My dad used to live in a third floor flat, and it was bad enough being in there in normal summers, never mind freak ones like this.

I've spent the last few days doing some embroideries again, which is nice because it's something I can do while watching streams (for example) that doesn't take up too much room. Not that my weaving loom is massive, but that requires the cat to not be on my lap and Jazz is a massive cuddlebutt. (I could shoo her off, but then I'd feel mean).

I've been taking inspo from the DIY videos I've been watching, and seeing what happens. Which isn't much right away now, but I'm working on it.

~

I shamelessly stole this video game meme from sideways, and have been waiting till I finished the Squeenix meme to answer it.

( Read more... )

Last night, not for the first time, I dreamt that the Xenomorph from Alien was really real and it was in my house.

I don't know why I've started having this as a nightmare, because it's not like I've watched anyone play Alien Isolation, or any of the films, because I know already that the Xenomorph scares me, so I avoid it.

So I woke up with my heart pounding, and laid there, terrified. As you do. Eventually I fell back asleep, but you can bet it took me some convincing that actually I'd imagined all that.

~

Anyway, it was my birthday yesterday! I spent it under a woollen blanket in my living room, being toasty warm, with the cat sat on me while I alternately played Tactics Advance (in German™) and watched stuff on youtube. Which wasn't too different from a usual day, except for the blanket, and telling myself not to stress about stuff like chores and that.

(I honestly do not know why I didn't think about the wool blanket before, because yesterday was the warmest I'd been all winter, and I didn't have the heating turned up any higher than usual).

This year was definitely an improvement on the last two birthdays. Last year, I spent way too much time stressing about town flooding (which it did, and was nothing I could have done anything about anyway). And the year before I was running on very little sleep and spent most of the day crying, thinking everybody hated me. But yesterday was just chill, and it was sunny for most of the day, so it was just really nice.

(Also Outside Xbox uploaded a Hitman 3 Three Ways to Play video, so that was awesome. Hitmans? On my birthday? It's more likely than you'd think!)

~

Finally, Aoife streamed Abzu on this Monday just gone and, while it's not quite as chill as Journey, it is full of fish! All sorts of fish! It's like swimming in an aquarium!
(Though you may not want to watch it if you are afraid of deep water, because there's a few bits featuring the Bottomless Ocean™ and it's mildly unpleasant, even if it isn't real. Also if you are afraid of whales, you might want to give it a miss).

Anyway, I thought it was pretty neat, so I thought I'd share with y'all :)

I spent a productive evening last night listening to sea shanties. It was fun! And, weirdly, reminded me of my childhood. (My working theory is that they used to have people who sang shanties or shanty style songs on the folk music programme my mum used to listen to on the radio, and that's why).

Turns out I know more than I think I do (one I'm familiar with via its folk music incarnation), whereas I thought I only knew What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor?, because that's the one everyone knows.

There's also one called Rolling Down to Old Maui which sounds a lot like The Miller of Dee in parts (I was not prepared for that, lol). I taught myself to play The Miller of Dee when I was a teenager, but it's not ever something I've heard in the wild, as it were. (The Wiki page for Old Maui suggests it may be based on The Miller of Dee, but there's no conclusive proof).

Jazz does not approve of sea shanties, but that's because she has no taste :q

~

Yesterday, Aoife streamed herself playing Journey as a chill game for everyone to watch. So I thought I'd share the link in case any of y'all are interested. She is planning to play other chill games as well, although we don't know what at the moment (she asked for recs during the stream, and the only one I can remember is Abzu).

I haven't actually played Journey myself, although now I'd like to (I think I'd spend ages bimbling around in the desert, tbh). And also even though I know what happens, it'd be nice to experience something like that for myself.

I got strong ICO vibes from it, as well, although there's no combat in the game at all. I think it's the running around with a friend thing (although it's entirely possible to play Journey on your own, whereas with ICO, you have to rescue Yorda because that's the point of the game).

~

Off to finish off this painting I accidentally wrecked yesterday, but have since fixed! (It just needs a few final touches, and then it should be good to go!)

Streams:

Luke plays AC:NH - catching a Coelacanth!

Jane plays Two Point Hospital - curing Denim Genes

So a thing I found out when I was looking up about Two Point Hospital is that not only is most of the team is the people who made Theme Hospital, Back Int Day™, but also they worked on the Fable games and OMG, y'all, that explains EVERYTHING.

~

So yesterday it was two years since Jazz came to live with me! (and mum, but obviously, and sadly, she is no longer with us).

( here's a pic of Jazz being adorbs )

I had a job centre visit yesterday, where I was informed that I was earning enough money that I didn't need to be seen as regularly \o/

So for the time being, I don't need to have appointments there! (I say for the time being, because my work coach did say that if my wages go down for any reason, then I may be made an automatic appointment just to confirm what's going on).

I also bought myself two P!nk albums from the local RSPCA charity shop, since I've always liked what I've heard by her on the radio, and I've heard a lot of her on the radio recently for some reason.

Also also I am reading a book! An honest to god actual fiction book, and it is not feeling like a struggle to do so! It is the sequel to Shiver (aka a book about werewolves that I absolutely did not get on with) and it's going okay? Nothing much is happening, but that's par for the course with what I've read of Maggie Stiefvater's books. I feel like Cole is a proto-Ronan, since he gives me the same irritated feeling, but I think she likes writing characters like this? Or maybe Ronan is a proto-Cole, since technically the meat of the Raven Cycle was written first? Anyway, whatever, I don't like him. Though I wish Isabel was still an abrasive jerk, because when she was, she was the best thing about Shiver.

Aaaaanyway. I'm reading! I'm, like, halfway through the book! I may even read the other two books in the series, since I own them already!

And then, one day, I might actually get to rereading the Raven Cycle, and possibly All The Crooked Saints, but I still kind of side-eye that one a bit.

(I'm still mad we'rd not getting the story about about the girl gang car racers because holy heck I wanted that so badly! But alas, it was not to be. I did think about writing my own version but I know next to fuck all about cars and I'm still not writing anything anyway).

Heh.

On top of all of this, I bought almost all Lousie Rennison's series that starts with Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging, since we had them all at work. Except for book six, because I mean why donate a whole series to a charity shop, right. I can probably get it off ebay though, so no worries.

Oh yeah AND BEFORE I FORGET: honigfrosch sent me a box of Halloween things/snacks from Germany and it was amazing! I made a thread on Twitter, here, where you can see everything but the one item I forgot to take a pic of because that happens. Also I was giddy as heck. Sorry the pics are so dark, but the cat decided to help by sitting in my light (thanks, cat).

(I do not need to buy snacks for ages now, although in spite of this, I still bought a hazelnut Ritter bar and some Italian cookies when I did the shopping yesterday. I have already eaten the Kinder egg, and am most of the way through the hare gummies, which are really yummy).