all made up with nowhere to go

I am so. fucking. knackered.

Besides working five days/long shifts across last weekend into this week, I have had four migraines in the space of a week (some of which while I was at work!), and as a result, I feel like an abandoned lump of plasticine. And my wrist hurts, my right shoulder hurts, and I am so tired, y'all.

I'm just going to chill with the cat today, as it is seven years since she came to live with me! \o/ and I'm going to draw wonky hex maps by tracing a quilting template. I was going to fiddle around photocopying them to make the hexes smaller, but I don't know if I have the energy for that. So I won't.

I'm also going to eat Easter eggs, as it is appropriate, and I somehow have three (a very good problem to have), but I only bought one myself. (One of the others was from the store manager, the remaining one from my line manager).

Also also: I started using Finch on my phone, as my friend Chris has been using it for the past year and has found it useful for self-care. So I thought I'd try it out. Which is a long-winded way of saying if anyone wants to be friends on there, hit me up and I'll send you my friend code :D (also if you want to add me on Pikmin Bloom, let me know, as I am still playing that somehow).

(and my earplugs did turn up on the day of my previous post - not that long after I'd hit post, as it happens, so that was nice. They are taking some getting used to, but at least they're staying in my ears).

Five things make a post?

1. It was -7°C when I woke up this morning at 6am. Do not want!

2. I had to cave and buy a cheap pair of bluetooth headphones for my phone with the remainder of my xmas money, because I keep breaking 3.5mm jack to usb c converters (well, the first one was duff anyway, but the second one only lasted a month, and at five quid each I'm not doing this repeatedly).

They're okay, sound-wise (I will admit I am a headphones/speaker snob, although I can't afford the sort of stuff I'd really like). They'll do, anyway. I do like that I can wander round my entire house, though, and the bluetooth signal doesn't drop out at all.

3. Talking of my phone, a friend was asking on facebook for phone recs as they needed a new one, and almost every single comment on the post was "I've got a Pixel and I LOVE IT". I refrained from adding that I had one and I hated it, because maybe it's just me, IDK.

4. I have been deconstructing some clothes to reclaim the fabric. Some of them were ones my mum made, and it's fascinating seeing how she put them together, and how lazy she was feeling about finishing them off properly.

I feel a bit weird about it, but I wouldn't wear them anyway, and the majority would be too big for me even if I wanted to. I think mum would approve of me recycling them. I hope she would.

(It doesn't stop me wanting to buy more fabric though - I've been looking at batik fabric lately and omg it's gorgeous).

5. I have been thinking about doing the 100 day art challenge, but I don't know what I would do for it. I've seen various things, most recently quilting/applique, but also gel printing, and drawing. I also don't know that I can actually commit to 100 days of anything, given I used to get burnt out after fifteen on Inktober.

But there's no start or end date on it, so it's something I can just think about for the future maybe.

I am getting 403 errors sometimes when I try to reply to a comment, so please be aware I'm not ignoring you! Unless you weren't expecting a reply, in which case it's fine. I can only assume it's because of all the stuff that's been going on in the background here, and that it will be fixed soon. (I partly assume this because I tried to log in on a different browser the other day and got, you guessed it, a 403 error. Tried it again today with that same browser, and logged in fine. Still couldn't reply to certain comments, though).

I also got one while trying to post this entry, so THAT'S FUN.

~

In other news, there is no other news, because I've been ill, so I haven't been doing a right lot! But I thought I ought to put the above up, just in case you were wondering.

I had to take Jazz to the vet for her six month check up yesterday, so obviously I am The Worst.

She is absolutely fine, for the most part, and was very well behaved, even when she had her claws clipped! Which is something none of the vets have attempted before, I don't think, and she won't even let me do it (I have tried holding her feet very gently and putting a claw out (but not clipping) and sometimes she'll let me do this and other times she knifes me, and that's fair).

The only thing that is a bit of a problem is that she has gained some more weight. In spite of me giving her less food since last time when I was told she needed to lose some weight! Both me and the vet think it's likely down to her dry food, so I have to switch that out for a healthier one. Which I can do, but it wil irk me because I just bought brand new dry food last week.

After we got back, I thought Jazz would run off and hide, but she actually spent a couple of hours hanging out with me in the living room. I mostly ignored her, and just gave her little fusses here and there, and when she went off upstairs, I left her to it. And now we are friends again, so yay!

~

So, since getting this new computer, I have actually got excited about doing stuff on it again. Like, I was thinking how I could do digital art (nothing fancy, just messing around in Paint to start with), and I got really hyped up thinking about it.

I haven't done any digital art in nearly four years (summer 2018 was the last time I tried, iirc). Partly because I never got that into it, and partly because it's just not something I've thought about doing much recently*. But the other night, I was sitting in bed with the new laptop, having played X amount of games of Solitaire, and I thought, I have enough room to sit here with my tablet and do art if I want to! (My downstairs set up is not conducive to this, even sitting at a desk). But then I was like, "My graphics tab, though it be a Wacom, is circa ten years old! Will Windows even recognise it???"

And the answer is yes, Windows does, although it runs it on a generic driver, so it's good job I don't want to do anything fancy.

Then I realised I can also do other stuff as well. Like write (hahaha**). Or talk to my friends, because you bet I downloaded the Discord app, even though I am chronically bad at remembering to sign into it! or talking to people on it! But I've always kind of been like that with IMs. (I'm open to recs for other IM programs, though. Discord kind of scares me a bit because there's just SO MUCH of it, and I still don't know what to do with my server, lol).

I could also, if I wanted to, hook the laptop up to the TV via the HMDI cable. I don't want to, but I totally could.

But it feels nice to be excited about art stuff! I know I've said this a lot over the past few years, but it feels like little bits of me are slowly returning. I don't know where they went, but I'm glad they're coming back. Especially when you consider that I almost stopped doing art altogether. I'm immensely glad that I didn't.

~

ETA: Please enjoy this small video of this extremely smug Pallas' Cat! And also this cat dressed as lion for Lunar New Year![/eta]

~

*Except when I look at stuff by the amazing pixel artists I'm following on twitter, and then I'm like, "DANG".

**My want to write fiction has been slowly declining since ~2013 and I'm at the point now where IDK if I'll ever really pick it back up again.

Okay, so I will be the first to put my hands up and say I didn't really believe the snow would be as bad as the weather forecasters were, uh, forecasting. But since there's about five cm of the stuff* gracing my front steps, I take it back.

See, the thing is that the forecasters like to over-exaggerate the snowfall. See also: Snowpocalypse a few weeks back (we got a light dusting and nothing more, but the way it was reported, you'd think it was going to be the end of the world). But that's, I think, because most of them seem to be from the south of England, where snow is not really an issue (particularly not if you're from London, or any other large city). So they said it would snow a lot, and I sneered, because their idea of a lot of snow in past years has been, like, a vague dusting.

And yet. Here is the snow.

And it's effing cold (for Britain, anyway).


*I know five cm is not a lot compared to how much some places in other countries get, but it's more than we've had in my village in recent years.

~

I have my new phone and it is...okay? It is much of a muchness with the old one, though it has a curved-at-the-sides screen, which is really nice (even if I do feel like I'll drag icons right off the phone). The screen itself is slightly smaller than my old one, but it looks sharper to me, and is easier to hold in my hand.

The only thing I don't like is that it only has one speaker, located on the actual bottom of the phone, for some reason. So music sounds super tinny, and that's annoying. Although I mostly listen to stuff on headphones anyway, so it's not really a massive problem.

I have all my mobile games set up on it now, apart from Animal Crossing. I just have to get the nerve to delete it off the old phone first (because it won't let you import a save if you're already logged in on another device *eyeroll*).

~

I'm definitely better rested with my new mattress and certainly less achy, which is amazing. I mean, I don't feel perfect, but I don't feel like I'm made of sludge any more (which I have done for years, but I thought it was just my age/circumstances/depression). Just a shame it won't fix my arthritis.

~

I want to play all the Final Fantasies. But let's be honest, when do I not? I'm going to see if I can at least make some progress with Tactics Advance In German™ (I've been playing it for a year and not beaten it, wtf. Good job I already beat it in English). I am going to restart and play and FINISH FFIII DS. I am also going to pony up and restart Four Heroes of Light, since I never beat it and, while I hate that it only has one save slot, I'd like to play it now I know how it works. (I've had it since it was new, and not played it in forever).

(And maybe one day I will restart and finish FFs II**, V**, VI**, VIII, and IX**)

**I have very almost finished most of these. In a lot of cases, there's save files sitting right at the final boss. But they will need restarting because you can bet your asses I am woefully underlevelled in all of them. IX is halfway through a replay, but I can't even remember when I touched it last.

I got got by two April Fool's this year. That's the first time in ages. I'm so annoyed.

~

I'm going to post this here, just so I have it for posterity (or something). I think the following was done on purpose, mum thinks it's coincidence, and I have told no-one else. If it's coincidence, it's flipping weird.

( this is bibble, feel free to skip )

~

I got a new phone on Monday! It's not the one I wanted, it's actually a newer model, and the guy in the phone shop bumped up my phone bill by an extra £3 a month because of it. I'm actually a little mad about that, but I didn't want to wait another month for a different, cheaper phone because I am impatient.

So I have a Sony Xperia Z5! The guy in the shop was confident that I would like it (though that was probably just part of his patter, who knows or cares, right?) And I do! I like holding it, and think it's really nicely designed, and I like using it. Maybe I should nip back in the shop and tell him he was right ;)

I got a 32Gb memory card for it (though it can take up to a 200Gb (!!!) card) for £10. This is almost as much storage space as my first laptop's first hard drive had in its entirety. I am BOGGLING OVER HERE.

Of course, the first thing I did, when I figured out how do it was put music on the card. (Because Linux doesn't like talking to Sony phones, so much so that it doesn't recognise them when plugged in. There are workarounds, but my brain is too tired to deal with masses of code right now). Anyway, eventually I remembered that I had a card reader on my laptop, so I could transfer music and photos that way! YAY.

(Also: the playlist function in the default player tells you how long the playlist lasts! I have been missing this one function for years. Sadly, it doesn't tell you how long all the songs in your collection will play for but eh, I can deal).

ALSO TWITTER NOW WORKS LIKE IT'S MEANT TO! I CAN FAVE THINGS AND REPLY AND IT DOESN'T CRASH!!!! *throws confetti* I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT WAS LIKE.

The Sky box is borked again. It has also started turning itself on and off at random intervals. Seems likely that the engineer will have to give us a new one *sighs*

(I'm sorrynotsorry that my life is not more exciting than grumbling about technology but eh. That is pretty much my life sometimes).

The Sky box is misbehaving again, and I want to break it into pieces (except that this will not fix the problem). It lost the satellite signal earlier on today, and I was heading out, so I said to mum that I'd sort it when I got back (because usually there's a quick fix that works OK). So I did, and it was fixed.

I put The Wolverine on to watch. The Sky box decided to lose its signal again during the time the DVD player was on.

WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY I DON'T EVEN.

Because none of the quicker fixes are working. So now the box is off overnight, and I'm going to look at it in the morning. I actually think some of the problem might be the viewing card, because it looks discoloured on the one side.

I mean, it could have been the weather but, despite heavy rain being predicted for all day, the weather's been pretty nice for most of the day. And anyway, the box has worked in really crappy weather conditions before.

I don't understand modern technology.

~

I came up with an idea for another story, and now I am tentatively mucking about with it. I have names for two of the main three characters, I just need a girl's name I like now (this is hard - I'm really picky about girls' names). I scribbled some of the story down while I was waiting for the bus to come home this afternoon.

(I should probably write this story because it will totally satisfy my id, I think).

ALSO.

The abominations story was two years old yesterday! *throws confetti*

I don't have an excerpt of it to post this year, though, because all the bits I want to share are spoilery :(

~

In other news: cetirizine knocks me on my arse* if I take it during the day, and seems to not help me sleep** if I take it at night. Also if I take it at night, it doesn't help so much with allergies during the day (so it seems). But I've only been taking it two days, so we'll see.

~

*By which I mean it makes me feel heavy and sluggish. I said to mum that I hadn't felt like since I was badly depressed, which brought on a whole bunch of concern (probably my mood yesterday didn't help, either, as I was quite weepy and sad). So I had to reassure mum that no, generally I was fine, just very sluggish.

**I think some stimulants and depressants have reverse effects on me - it's always been that if I drink a lot of alcohol, I then can't sleep because I'm all jittery, and caffeine makes me sleepy a lot of the time. So it's possible that any sedative effect the cetirizine may have may not work. Again, we'll see.

All right, I jumped on the meme wagon, and if you want to give me a topic (or many) for that December post meme thing, my entry for that is here.

If you want to get your revenge for when I asked you a difficult or awkward question, go ahead and do it. You can also ask me ridiculous shit if you like. I don't care, I want to see if I can do this thing.

~

Talking of which, I nicked a meme from halley:

Here's how it works: I must list seven habits/quirks/facts about myself and tag seven people to do the same.
I don't have enough friends to tag and anyway I stopped doing that years ago. So! Here are seven facts about me:

1. I like walking into rooms like I own the place. Since my self-esteem is in my boots on any given day, I find this secretly hilarious.

2. I think space is vast and amazing and gloriously wonderful, but the sheer number of miles and scales scares the shit out of me.

3. I get very indignant about people mocking the Welsh/Welsh language more often than you might think (and I am SO FED UP of the dumb Welsh guy trope that it is not true). I'm half Welsh, so I think I'm allowed.

4. Related: Rhod Gilbert is probably my favourite comedian right now.

5. Also related: I have a crush on Gareth Thomas, and I can't understand why. (He's an ex-rugby player, for context, also wikipedia-ing, should you wish to look him up).

6. I want to play Dragon Age: Inquisition SO BADLY that I am contemplating putting it on the credit card (which I shouldn't do because I owe monies for other things including the aforementioned card). I am not even THAT into DA.

7. There is at least one person on tumblr who I desperately want to be friends with, and I look at their blog, but I don't actually follow them because I think they are Too Awesome for me.

Oh wow that was seven. Unless 4 & 5 don't count, but I don't see where in the rules it says I can't say this stuff.

~

I think I should make a "fun with technology" tag or something. Because today I learnt what to do when one hooks up one's laptop to the TV via the HDMI cable. Or, rather, I spent a lot of time clicking, swearing, and wondering where the hell my mouse pointer went to (never the screen I wanted it to be on, that's where).

I couldn't get the TV screen to show an analogous resolution to the laptop screen, so I had to click and hope for the best. It took me ten minutes or more to work out that I had to switch the laptop screen off so that things would display on the TV. Maybe another five to realise I had to go into the sound settings and switch it to audio out on there so that it came not from the bowels of my laptop, but the speakers on the TV. (I assumed that because the Xbox immediately outputs everything via the HDMI cable that maybe that was how it worked. But the Xbox doesn't have speakers, does it?)

Anyway, eventually I worked it out OK and I didn't even have to go on the internet for a solution! (I did momentarily lament not having beccatoria's phone number to wail to her about it, but she would've been at work at the time so not a good idea, obviously).

I'm vastly regretting telling mum I could link this thing to the TV because boy that was painful and took forever.