all made up with nowhere to go

So I have finally been to the doctor about my pain issues!

Aside from the migraines, I told him that I think the joint pain is fibromyalgia, mainly because I'd looked it up as one of the artists I follow on youtube mentioned having it, and I didn't know exactly what it was.

You know those times where you sit and look at something and go, "OHHH FUCK" in realisation?

Yeah. I have pretty much all of the symptoms as listed on the NHS website, which I dutifully wrote down, and took with me, so that I could tell him all of this and not sound like I was flailing.

He has prescribed me amitriptaline, which will also help with the migraines, and I have to let them know in four to six weeks how things are going.

I also like that he didn't argue with my self-diagnosis, either. I went in kind of expecting it, because I don't know the doctor in question (he is new to the practice, so I haven't seen him before). So that was nice!

And talking of NHS related stuff, I have a follow up appointment next week the week after next for the surgical procedure I mentioned back at the beginning of the year (this will presumably be to assess when and how it will happen, IDK. I have already had the assessment with a surgeon).

~

In other news, there really isn't any! Work continues to happen, although perhaps things are looking up soon, but I don't want to put too much optimism into that just because I'm mildly sceptical about it.

I have four days off, which is nice - this is a week I tried to book off, which is why I was given the chunk of days, I think. I still need to talk to the person in charge of the rotas about holiday for next year, so I don't end up in this position again, though (my first actual holiday for this financial year is the first week in OCTOBER).

~

That's all I've got for now. Time to go and see what I can have for dinner!

I am so. fucking. knackered.

Besides working five days/long shifts across last weekend into this week, I have had four migraines in the space of a week (some of which while I was at work!), and as a result, I feel like an abandoned lump of plasticine. And my wrist hurts, my right shoulder hurts, and I am so tired, y'all.

I'm just going to chill with the cat today, as it is seven years since she came to live with me! \o/ and I'm going to draw wonky hex maps by tracing a quilting template. I was going to fiddle around photocopying them to make the hexes smaller, but I don't know if I have the energy for that. So I won't.

I'm also going to eat Easter eggs, as it is appropriate, and I somehow have three (a very good problem to have), but I only bought one myself. (One of the others was from the store manager, the remaining one from my line manager).

Also also: I started using Finch on my phone, as my friend Chris has been using it for the past year and has found it useful for self-care. So I thought I'd try it out. Which is a long-winded way of saying if anyone wants to be friends on there, hit me up and I'll send you my friend code :D (also if you want to add me on Pikmin Bloom, let me know, as I am still playing that somehow).

(and my earplugs did turn up on the day of my previous post - not that long after I'd hit post, as it happens, so that was nice. They are taking some getting used to, but at least they're staying in my ears).

I am on the last day of a week off work! I woke up late every single morning but today, because of course I did.

I actually think I've been a bit ill, as one night I zonked out for ten hours (unheard of, usually), and my lymph glands under my arms were a bit tender on a couple of days. And going out to do a food shop during the week wiped me out for the rest of the day*. I didn't feel ill beyond that though, which is a blessing. I did have a wicked migraine on one day, which bled into a regular headache the following day, so maybe the exhaustion was a precursor of that, IDK.

So I haven't really done a lot while I've been at home, but that's okay. I was already exhausted from work as it is, so I knew I needed to not push myself so much to get stuff done. Also I've got more time off coming up, and I can get things done then, instead.

I have done a bunch of sewing, after a feverish few weeks drawing. I scanned some art the other day, and realised to my horror that I have not scanned anything since APRIL, and therefore have not updated my sketchblog since then. But I haven't really been drawing, and anything else I've made, I haven't really thought is worth sharing. Which is terrible, but true. Also I dunno, sometimes I felt I haven't had the energy, and really I don't know where the last six or so months went.

I have also referred myself for counselling. I don't know if I need it, but it was suggested to me during another medical appointment that it might be a good idea, so I'm going to give it a go!

I also arranged to meet up with my friend Sarah for a natter on Thursday! She said literally years ago that we ought to hang out more, and I've been putting it off ever since, because I didn't want to bother her or I knew she'd be busy outside of work. But I finally did it! There's some stuff I want to talk to her about because, although I've mentioned it to the people I work with, she knows me better than they do, so I expect she might have something different to say about some of it.

And finally, I started watching Oxventure again! I know I don't talk about it like I did Critical Role, but that's partly because I stopped watching it about eighteen months ago, and I don't really know anyone else who watches it, so I don't feel like I need to make comments about it. And, as I said, I stopped watching some time last year when I got Really Fucking Depressed.

Which was daft, in retrospect, because literally nothing had changed except the production values, and added guests on occasion. I did carry on watching the one-shots, when I thought I'd be interested, but I didn't finish watching the original Oxventure, and I don't know if I ever will.

But I started again with the new campaign (Wyrdwood), partly because I was interested to see what was going on, and partly because it turns out I miss watching nerds playing D&D**. Anyway, it turns out this is absolutely up my alley??? Like the setting and the goings on and so on??? And, of course, everyone playing is still the same, and it still feels the same, and it makes me happy.

So now I have that to look forward to every Saturday! (It goes live on Friday evenings, but I can't be arsed to watch it live, so I will watch the VOD the next day).

And that's pretty much everything for now. Back to work tomorrow!

~

*Although some of that was also down to do some very mentally taxing (but ultimately good) things that needed doing.

**I don't think I'll ever go back to Critical Role, though. Which is kind of sad, but hey ho.

Happy New Year?

I've been working over the past five days, and today is the first day I'm not, hence the ability to actually sling together some sort of post. So obvs I am late to the party on wishing everyone happy new year.

I had an okay Xmas, it went nicely and there was no drama, which is always good! It was also one of the few days I didn't have whopping migraine over about a week (one was so bad I couldn't even look at my phone/TV without feeling violently nauseous, which was delightful).

Then I worked five days in a row, and I got to experience some people being awful! Because retail! Nobody was outright threatening or anything like that, but there was one woman who described the process of trying to get a refund as the worst experience she'd ever had, just because she wasn't getting her own way (and she was a tight-fisted so and so to begin with). Several people were annoyed we didn't have certain things in, and I was like, "It has been Xmas and New Year! There have been NO DELIVERIES!" and they were all just kind of like, "And??" which irritated me because I tend to (or try to) take that sort of thing into account when going places at this time of year!

ANYWAY.

I'm working one day in the next eleven and holy fuck am I glad about that.

~


I don't really have any resolutions for 2024. I hope it's better than 2023, which was a mixed year for me, to be honest.

I'm still continuing on my textile adventures - I'm going to have a go at 2D needle felting this year! I thought I wasn't interested in it/thought I may easily hurt myself (since it uses stabby needles), but ye olde weasel brain has other ideas. I'm just getting a little starter kit, and see how I go!

And that's really it for now! I'm going to post this and debate what to have for dinner.

I have FIVE invite codes for Bluesky, in case anyone is interested and wants one? Just let me know and I'll DM you one.

~

I am in the middle of a week off work! \o/

I've had headaches or migraines for most of the time so far, not helped by a doctor's appointment I had yesterday, but I'll talk about that more in a minute.

I went to Bury with my sister in law on Tuesday, and we mooched around the charity shops, as that was the reason for going. I found myself some CDs, as well as a book from 2004 about artist journals that could easily have been published today, because the content is very similar to stuff I see online and in more recent books.

Anyway, I had a good time, and me and my sister in law agreed that we ought to do this sort of thing again.

Then yesterday, I had two outings that easily both could have been phonecalls. One was for in work support, which is fine, but there's not a lot they can do for me right now (and why it could have been a phonecall instead of an hour each way bus trip for a ten minute appointment).

The other was a doctor's appointment, which I will put under a cut because there's a bit of explaining to do.

( Read more... )

Anyway, then I was so knackered from all the to-ing and fro-ing and worrying that I literally came home, ate my tea, and then went to bed.

And then it was today.

Not a lot has been going on otherwise, aside from work, which is continuing to go okay, and I'm still chipping away at Persona 5 Royal (wherein I want the main storyline to be done so I can go ???? at the new content), and that has been my life more or less for the last few weeks.

Last Monday, I had nausea with a migraine that was so bad I actually thought I was going to throw up. I got the nausea before the pain, so initially, I thought it'd been something I'd eaten the day before. Turns out not!

So, anyway, I don't often get that as a symptom, which is why I didn't twig what it was at first, and when I usually do, I'm usually just a bit queasy.

I. I do not want this.

Then yesterday, I had an air pressure migraine, which was gross because I could feel it in my face. Like. I wish sinuses did not exist, because I hate it when I can feel that they're there and am reminded.

I do not want that, either.

~

I started playing FFXIII-2 again a bit ago, and I am currently around 7 hours in. I don't really have a lot to say, except I think I'm probably playing it wrong. I'm trying not to use my game guide unless I really have to (they say, having already looked up two bosses on the internet). I'm dumping most of Serah's development into Ravager/Medic/Saboteur (in roughly that order) because I think she has higher magic stats that Noel, and then Noel is Commando/Sentinel/probably Synergist? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I remember more of the early game than I thought I would. Snow's daft redesign doesn't bug me as much as it used to (although I still am side-eyeing that haircut because WHAT IS THAT).

~

In other news, I had to go out yesterday morning at short notice, and much to my own annoyance, so I bought myself some pens to make me feel better (nobody is surprised). I got a six pack of neon Stabilo fineliners, and two Uni Pin pens - one a brush tip, one a 05 dark grey. Turns out I already had a replacement brush pen, and the dark grey one's tip is bent (I didn't think to check it before I left the store). It's useable, but I am slightly annoyed about that. And I can't get a replacement because I didn't get a receipt, and I won't be able to go back any time soon :|

I'm really pleased with the neon fineliners, though, because they truly are eye-wateringly neon. I don't know what I'll use them for, but I'm sure I'll think of something.