all made up with nowhere to go

I have had a cold for the last...week? I felt really grim when I finished work last Saturday, but it had also been a really bad shift - it was busy and we were a person down, so yeah.

Now I'm at the sneezy/snotty stage, which eugh. I think I may actually spend the day in bed, if I can think of something to do whilst being there. (This is the downside of all my creative stuff being mostly downstairs now, heh).

And my hands have been hurting to varying degrees during this time. Which could mean this is a stress response (and I think sometimes it is), but also it could be my immune system being all "HEY! LISTEN!" Which I also suspect it might be. IDK. I am not a doctor, and apparently it's still not arthritis, so who t f knows??

I'm looking at my hands right now as I type this, and I can see that my right hand is swollen. My left hand feels it, but doesn't look as bad. I wish I knew what was going on here.

Anyway, that aside, I sorted through some more of my mum's/gran's yarn stash - the stuff I don't want is going to charity shops or the local college - and found a whole load more crocheted squares, including what looks like the start of a blanket like my childhood one. Which confirms to me that my gran made these, since I know she made my blanket.

So I have unjoined all the squares I'd put together so far, so that I can put them around this rectangle instead, but also so I can make a more coherent big blanket. I'm honestly glad I didn't do anything more than slip stitch them together, as it made taking them apart really easy.

But part of the reason I decided to go through the yarns was because I was looking for 100% (or high percentage) wool to felt. Because after almost a year of feeling like I didn't want to do felting/didn't know what I was doing, I am sort of back on that! Partly because thinking about art dolls got me thinking of ways to make them, and 3D felting is one way I can do (some of) that. I didn't think I wanted to learn 3D felting, but I appear to have changed my mind about that!

But also partly because I sorted some yarn that I found in the cupboard under the stairs a few months ago, and then proceeded to knit three scarves from the blue shades (as it is my favourite colour). I washed them, as the yarn had been under the stairs for more than forty years, in all likelihood, and some of them felted. I don't mind, since the scarves were just for me. But then I was like, "I could make my own felt from some of these yarns!" by knitting them up and chucking them in the wash. I don't know that it will work for all of them, but I think I have a fairly good grasp of what a wool yarn feels like? And assuming they were mostly my gran's, she seems to have used high percentage wool a lot. So I shall experiment. Although not right now, given how my hands feel.

I impulse bought some more felting stuff - it should have been delivered on Thursday, but I knew I would not be home when the postman brought it, so I had to rearrange it to come this coming Tuesday. Which turned out to be the only day where I am home as I am working/doing other stuff the rest of the week. So. Yeah. Although I haven't regretted the purchase in the time since I bought it, so yay?

I feel like this post should have a more coherent end to it, but it isn't going to. I'm stopping it here.

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last posted!

But there has not been that much going on lately. Things are still the same - my mental health is shit (though better than not, but not great), though I am getting help with it. The situation with my nephew is still the same, and there is nothing I can do about that. I've had a lot of time off work (holidays, not sickness), so I haven't been out a lot. I don't feel like I've done a lot of things.

I've knitted three scarves, and watched the usual people playing video games on the internet. I've done a lot of sorting out/tidying/recycling in the front bedroom. I keep feeling like it feels insurmountable, but it really isn't, and I really am now hitting a point where that can be a functional room again at some point sooner than I maybe anticipated back at the beginning of the year. And that feels really good.

And, as part of that, I have also been doing the same thing in other parts of the house, namely the kitchen. I finally cleared off the windowsill, so now my succulents have a lot more space to exist, and it just looks tidier. Which also feels really good, and pleases me a lot.

But other than that, there's not really been a lot happening! But I am still here, still existing, and I shall continue to do so.

Wahoo, I remembered to internet for once! I mean, I have ulterior motives other than "check my inbox, check DW", or "buy stuff", but here I am!

I had a nurse appointment for some mood stuff, but it turns out it is all hormonal, and she can't really help, apart from stuff which has been of no help in the past. So it's down to vitamins and supplements. Which feels unhelpful, but I guess there's not a lot she can do, since my body seems to be such a picky fucker with what it will and won't accept as helpful.

UUGGGHHHH.

~

I'm going to dye my hair again, likely green, as I know it can take that, and there are no decent purple dyes within my grasp.

(Except the Stargazer ones, which I've used one of before, but the pictures on their website aren't especially helpful??? Also for the price they charge for postage, I might as well pay bus fare and get something else. I've been eyeing a range that Superdrug/Boots have that's waaaay cheaper than Swartzkopf. Though I've been using them for years and I know they work well. I will just have to investigate further!)

~

(Maybe if I whine enough about my crush on the internet, something might happen in real life. I mean, that's how it works, isn't it?)

~

I have almost finished one of the DK weight scarves I started the other day. I am incredibly pleased. I guess I should finish the sock weight one after this...

For the past few days I have been knitting a cushion while rewatching Miraculous Ladybug. I am still enjoying it. Which is good.

I've thought about starting a new video game, but everything I have seems to tend towards depressing, and I don't want that right now. I want happy, cute, things, hence Ladybug! (I actually made a list of things I'd like in a game; IDK if there is one that fits those criteria, but it gives me something to think about). I did also think about arsing about in Skyrim, but it kind of bores me? I mean it's an OK game but ehhhhh I'm not that bothered by it. Also it glitching out all the time annoys me.

I dunno, I think I am just feeling super picky about stuff at the moment.

(I was originally going to watch some Adventure Time, but I just wasn't feeling it. Which is a shame, because I love that show and I haven't watched any for yeeeeeaaaars).

~

Adventures with Ubuntu 16.04 include:

# having it crash after using LibreOffice for half an hour.
# stop using LibreOffice, and then have it crash whenever anyway (I went two days without it crashing until today but *shrug emoji*)

# Apparently it's because of the kernel. It can be fixed by installing a newer kernel, but I don't want to do that because it can muck up your install.

# I like that everything looks nicer? Clearer? I like it, anyway.
# I like software centre update. Good grief, did it need that.
# I also like that I can plug my phone in and it effin' works! I'm almost tempted to try my scanner, even though I know damn well it won't.

Mostly I'm happy with it. I just hope the newer kernel release comes along soon because OMFG ALL THE CRASHING. I thought Linux wasn't supposed to do this!

Apparently I'd already figured out in 2009 that Strangers When We Meet is my favourite Bowie song*. I'm thinking Outside might be my favourite album. (I wish I didn't figure out things and then forget them, but I know mid-2009 to early 2011 is full of holes re: my memory so yaaaaaaaaaaay).

I streamed some stuff through Spotify (I can get it to work on my phone but not the internet, wtf?) and it played me around half of The Next Day on shuffle, and I honestly don't know why I ever put off listening to it because I liked what I heard (I'm lukewarm on Where Are We Now? but eh. I don't like everything he's ever done anyway. But everything else on that album that I heard is OK!)

I had forgotten at some point in the past that I liked A Better Future (which is on Heathen). I am glad to have rediscovered it.

~

Addendum to my In Memoriam: I completely forgot that the entire reason I own Low on vinyl is because my ex-housemate bought it for me one day. She came home from town and was all, "I saw this, thought you'd like it, I hope you don't have it already." The weird part about this is I don't think I even listened to much Bowie while in the same house as her**. I remember watching Labyrinth with her because the DVD went missing, only to turn up again when I moved out. But really that's it.

(What I mostly remember is arguing about how to play a Tracy Chapman song on the guitar. And arguing in general).

(And even if I had had it already, I would snatched it from her hands because vinyl. I think the only other vinyl I have is Let's Dance. I may have to check this out).

~

Pictures under the cut! Linked from twitter :) Two of me, two of a minotaur.

( Read more... )

~

*The amount of people I've seen in the past week call it "an under-rated gem" amuses the crap out of me, because I always assume that if I like a thing, then pretty much everyone knows about it. Like that time I was surprised nobody on University Challenge knew Play Dead (Bjork). I know it so why doesn't everyone else?

**What I mean is, I'm always surprised when other people realise that I like him, and thus buy me related things.

~ I made a soda bread earlier and it looks OK?

I can bake bread the usual way (i.e. with yeast), but sometimes I have a fail loaf (the last one was the densest loaf in Yorkshire, I swear). I don't mind making bread this way, but waiting on two hour-long rises is tedious (and stretches the time out). So I thought I'd learn to make soda bread in case (prep and cooking was half the time as, obviously, I didn't have to wait for it to rise). Kneading it hurt my wrists a bit, but I think that was because it needed a bit more liquid in it. But that's another thing I've learnt to make.

~ I had one commission, which I finished and got paid for, and now am working on another one for the same person. So that's cool!

(Also the yarn is really nice - I didn't think I'd like it, but I have to work with it whether I like it or not. It's a dusky pink and grey and brown, and it makes me think of colours a mori girl might wear (that link's to a google image search) ).

~ I have Neko Atsume (Cat Collection) on my phone. It's supposed to be all over the internet, yet I have literally only heard two people talk about it once per person??? Anyway, it's cats and you collect them and that's all you do and oh boy is that my jam.

~ I am reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I think it's going to be a Weird Story.

~ Still playing P2. Not enjoying it as much, but I think that's because less people around me are playing it this time/producing fanworks for it. I mean, I am enjoying it, but I'm not all !!!! like I was four years ago.

But I really want to play Eternal Punishment, so I must do this!

~ I started accidentally thinking about a story idea I've had for over a decade now (I sometimes think about it because, as story ideas go, it's my baby. Well, one of two babies). Mum mentioned True Grit, with which it shares a thing (specifically a teenage girl and cowboy, of sorts, but that's it), and that made me start thinking about it earlier. I sort of want to poke around with it now, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not because abominations story! I am supposed to be working on that!

(says the person who's spent random days in the last two weeks thinking about their magical girl story off and on)

*throws hands in air*

I might dig the notes out just to look at for nostalgia or something tomorrow...

Not much is going on in the land of Jae right now. Also I haven't really felt like writing much, so I haven't been.

~ I am replaying DA2 for feels (although I'm past them now, into deep endgame).

~ I shaved the underneath part of my head, so that I have a "proper" undercut for the first time ever. It feels weird and will probably need a lot of maintenance if I want to keep it this way (I kind of do? IDK right now).

(My nephew looked at it at first, and went, "OH NO!" The next time he saw it, he said, "YOUR HAIR!" rather dramatically. Well, he is only two and a half).

~ I made some tiny crocheted friends? I suppose making stuff for myself when I feel horribly sorry for myself is better than buying stuff to make me feel better, right?

(I'll try to post pics soon, but I haven't really posted any anywhere else, except for a horribly blurry one on my twitter).

~ I've been in gross amounts of pain for quite a lot of time, although I've found that doing stretches for my back is helping somewhat with that. Obviously, being in gross amounts of pain makes me not enjoy stuff so much/not want to do stuff so much/curl up in a ball and cry. But I'm getting better, and that's what matters.

~ OH TALKING OF WHICH. I solved my lactose intolerance! (I think. I'm being hopeful at this point in time). Since the time when it started (back in Nov last year) until two/three weeks ago, I'd been drinking flavoured water, and I strongly suspect one of the ingredients in that wasn't agreeing with my stomach. I am pretty sure this is the case as, since that time, I've stopped drinking that, and haven't felt as bad (some things are still whiffly, but my body's got readjust to not feeling like crud).

(I am tempted to wonder if it has to do with taking antidepressants. I have a friend whose digestive system is messed up for exactly that reason).

~ Walking! I found a distance tracker app, which hopefully will work! Sadly I've not wanted to go for a walk since (I did think about running it while running errands in town, just to see how far I trek on an average day, but that seems kind of lame?)

~ OK, so apparently for someone who didn't have much to say, it actually turns out I did.

~ Music meme I nicked off Waffles' tumblr - ask me numbers and I will attempt to answer them:

( prompts below here )

Don't be afraid of repeating a number (say if someone else already gave it to me) because chances are, I can think of another answer on an alternate day (or even later the same day or whatever).

I really like The Last Remnant. Except for Rush, he can die in a fire. But I keep finding excuses to play it (tonight is the third night in a row that I've considered staying up and playing for an hour or so, but UGH SO TIRED). I absolutely LOVE the idea of the battles being you commanding a small army (whose numbers grow throughout the story), although I'm not entirely sure I understand how the battle system works. I generally mash A and hope for the best, heh.

It reminds me a lot of Tactics Advance, I think because you can pick and choose from a bunch of people who you take with you and so on. Also there is item crafting and I don't know about you, but I LOVE THAT SHIT.

I am working on having at least one all woman union. Thinking this will work since I just picked up my first female leader (Emma aside), and most of my generic grunts are ladies.

(The designated Bad Guy, looks-wise, reminds me of Funny Valentine from Part 7 of Jojo, and that makes me lol when he turns up on-screen).

Apparently there were a lot of complaints about the Xbox version of the game but I don't know why? The thing with the textures loading is nothing I haven't seen in other, better received games. I'll admit the slowdown in battle is annoying, although I've only had it happen badly on the one day in one dungeon. Rush's flag (or whatever that thing is that hangs over his arse) glitches a lot for me, but I just find that hilarious (I mean, after all the glitches I experienced in ME2, this is NOTHING. Also I find glitches hilarious (unless they're game-breaking) so...yeah...)

David is kind of pretty? Although what the heck is his accent because no, just no.

~*~

In other news, I decided I'd crochet a sweater. I knitted one, almost a year ago, and it took two weeks and four Silent Hill LPs to knit (in fact, because it's shades of red and black, it sort of makes me think of Silent Hill anyway??) So I am thinking that a crocheted one will be a lot quicker. I have a basic pattern that I think I want to do that I downloaded the other night, and today I remembered that I have enough yarn! I bought four balls of this really nice blue marl mix from a bargain bin over a year ago, and then shoved them away because I was saving them for something special. I think a sweater is pretty special, isn't it?

I might watch some more Silent Hill LPs while I make it, since it seems to be the right thing to do (or I could watch another game LP, but I've only seen LPs for 1, 2, 0rigins, and Homecoming). Or I guess I could watch the rest of Gurren Lagann or Adventure Time. (BUT I DON'T WANNA *stamps feet*).

Anyway, I can't think about it right now because I have an amigurumi dachshund to finish, as well as some monsters I'm making to sell, and also a lighter weight hat because Awesome Cable Hat is too hot to wear when my head's cold right now (and I'm not wearing a hoodie or sitting under my quilt. Ugh man, maybe I should crochet me a hoodie, actually).

So apparently my Etsy shop got 20+ hits on Sunday for no reason I can fathom right now (I'm lucky if I get five a day). But it made me happy to see that happen :) (nobody bought anything, but I don't care right now).

And then today, the postman knocked on the door and there was a parcel for me! With handwriting I didn't recognise, and it felt like books.

Well. It turns out I won a competition I entered back in JANUARY that I had given up on ever thinking I'd won it. And it was books. One is knitting problem solving which is actually quite useful, and then the other one, which is the one I entered for, is 300 different stitch patterns and OH MY FRELLING GOD IT'S AMAZING. It has nice clear photographs and charts. It could do to be spiral-bound really, but to say I got it for the price of a text message, I can't really complain. Also it turns out to be nice compliment to the knitting books I already own as there's not much crossover. GREAT.

This also made me happy.

(I will post the titles of both books when I actually have them near me).

Has the Backloggery bitten the dust? I just saw on my profile that the banner with playing/recently added games wasn't showing, so clicked the link and my ISP says it can't find the site. Anyone know what's happened? (It's not a crisis - I never kept up to speed with it anyway - I'm just curious).

~*~


So it's April, and I notice that at this time of year especially, I start thinking about jewellery. I have been making some, as the post about bead orders testify.

I think in winter I want to keep everyone warm (so I crochet), and in the summer I want everyone to be shiny, so I make jewellery. That's possibly rubbish, actually. But I want to try to keep on making jewellery, actually. Well, at the moment I am trying to combine crochet and beads (and it's kind of working? I've got pics to upload to my tumblr/flickr/wherever).

I also now have some more stuff for my etsy! I was going to sort those photos out today, but ended up not doing it because of one thing and another (so they might appear over the Easter weekend; I just don't know right now).

~*~

I need to stop stalling and get some more writing done. I keep getting stuff re: the main characters and, I guess, if I just keep going, eventually that'll get 'em involved with the other characters (which is kind of what was happening when I wasn't thinking about it), but IDK, I kind of wanted to round out the characters a bit and that hasn't happened. Maybe that can be my Easter weekend thing to do???? (I've tried and failed to mainline a game for the last few years, so let's try and fail writing instead!)

~*~

P.S. Nearly finished FFXII (I have not forgotten about posting about it). I am currently stuck in the Pharos where each part, from save point to save point, takes about an hour. I have run out of items. It's such fun! I am REALLY looking forward to replaying IX after this :)