all made up with nowhere to go

I feel like I've had a lot of nothing to say recently, so I haven't said it.

BUT. I feel like I have had a bit of an epiphany re: art recently. I kind of didn't want to say anything at first in case I changed my mind (and I may still do that), but I have a post going up on my sketchblog that mentions it, so I may as well say it here, too.

In all the time I spent doing colouring pages, I wasn't intentionally thinking about what I wanted to do with art, but it kept sort of creeping into my thoughts anyway. And my feeling is thus: I want to make pictures of little dudes doing stuff. For the time being, anyway.

It isn't even a new thing - any of you who've been around me long enough will know I've done this sort of thing before, several times, but I've never really stuck to it. I think because I thought it felt like cheating. Which is dumb, really. I've always liked cartoons, but I think one of the disservices art college did was making me feel like drawing cartoons/more comic-y stuff wasn't "proper" art.

(I know it isn't true, but *blows raspberry*)

Something else that had occurred to me before I did the colouring pages was that I really (really) like simple art with strong outlines and bold/bright colours. And that is the sort of stuff I think I want to make, and I think it will suit the sort of things I want to draw.

So that's what I think I'm going to do.

I may also attempt some paintings on wood board because I've discovered I can get cheap ones fairly easily. Like, I don't mind painting on canvas, but it does bug me that it will move, regardless of how tightly it's affixed to the frame, and also that it can be easily damaged. I've been wanting to try painting on a wood panel for a while, after seeing some paintings Peter Draws did, but at the time I didn't know what I wanted to paint. Well now I do! I think!

Also on a semi-related note, I have disabled the membership tiers on my ko-fi page, so it's just back to simple donations. I really fell off the ball with it, and I think I know why to some degree, but also it didn't help having one of my worst depressions while trying to run it. I'm better now, but I need to rethink it a lot, I think.

Anyway, as usual, I have no idea how to end this, so I'm just going to hit the post button and be done with it.

I got the cat a new scratching board, because she needs one, and she hasn't used it because it's curvy instead of flat. She is such a fussy madam, I swear, and I don't know why, because this isn't how I raised her.

~

Anyway, besides that, last night I went out with a bunch of people that I work with for team bonding a meal out. I didn't want to go, because it was in one of the local pubs that does cheap food, and I hate pubs*. I thought I was going to have to cry off because I felt mildly unwell during the day, but then I felt okay, so I didn't. And also I would have felt guilty about it because I didn't go to the last one because of the buses being stupid (and it ended up getting cancelled). This time one of the ladies I work with gave me a lift there and back, so I didn't have to worry about buses.

It was mostly okay. I mean, it's not like I didn't know anyone there, just. People. You know?

There were a bunch of young 'ins came in and sat near us, and they were there for around an hour or so. They were loud and shouty and I STG they were deliberately louder because they saw me visibly flinch a couple of times. But I can't say for sure, and it's not like I'm going to hunt them down and interrogate them about it.

But other than that, yeah, it was mostly okay, except I am tired because people and I didn't sleep well last night.

~

Finally, replying to a comment from honigfrosch about the music rec posts reminded me that I can't remember if I posted links to the older ones here or not, so here they are anyway:

Massive Video Game Music rec list
Ten Songs by the Manics That I Don't Think Are Obvious Recs (DISCLAIMER: I now disagree with my past self for some of them but, at the time I wrote this, I was all like NEW! SHINY! VERY EXCITED! etc)
My Current Top Ten Fifteen Twenty Songs by the Manics

So yeah, enjoy!

~

*This is to do with them being too noisy and full of drunk people, generally. I am a curmudgeon, what can I say.

I think I've decided I want my art career/path to be a lot more textiles-based. At least, at the moment. I realised the other day that I've barely done any drawing in the last two months and, while it feels weird, I'm kind of okay with that as well.

I am definitely in a textiles hole at the moment, and I've got a whole bunch of things that I want to do (but I can't do them all at once, which is frustrating. I need to write a list before I forget them). And it is something I keep circling back to. Also sewing is easier to do with a cat sat on you. (Yes, I could shoo her off, but I would feel mean).

Also, like, most of the books I've bought recently have been sewing books - those two I mentioned in a previous post came, and I ordered another one with the Xmas money my family gave me. I bought a sewing book in the new year. I keep digging out my mum's sewing books and magazines for inspo. I think this is where things are going, and I am not unhappy with it.

Not that I'll stop drawing, but I've done so much in the last two years, that I am probably due a bit of a break, right?

I don't have any new year's resolutions beyond this, except to get better at doing my ko-fi. It was okay when I started, but then September upended everything (because I was ill most of the month), and I don't feel I've got back on track since. I think I need to start writing when I am going to make updates there (like supply reviews) in my planner, so that I actually do them instead of, well, not doing them. I also want to add a few more rewards. And do those random print packs.

Anyway, I think that's all I have to say for the time being.

I hope everyone has a lovely, cosy New Year's.

The physio appt felt a bit useless - he didn't ask me or do anything I haven't already been asked or had done to me before. He says he can't see an issue with the joints in my legs, and thinks they're all strong and work okay. Which is news to me, but whatever. I happened to not be hurting at the time I saw him, so it sort of felt like I was wasting his time.

Oh well.

~

I've been watching a bunch of videos of someone following an art challenge, and it's been making me think again about making things to sell to people who do art/creative journalling. Which is a thing that has crossed my mind from time to time for nigh on three years now. But I've never done it because I don't know if anyone will want to buy my things, and the best place to sell them would be Etsy, and I straight up cannot afford the fees.

But. I started watching a channel called Teal and Tattered Journals and she started a series about a year ago called Craft Therapy, where she journals with no purpose other than to just make stuff for herself. She mentions in the first video of this series that her therapist asks if she makes anything just for her, to which the answer was no, and that was how this came about.

And it got me thinking.

While there is stuff that I make that you folks don't see, there is a lot that I make that I specifically think about to sell. Although it is in less quantities than it used to be when I was self-employed, and now I wait to see how people react to stuff before I make decisions about it. BUT. It still happens. I suppose it is a relative of the content ghost, as I mentioned in that post when I wrote it. (Disclaimer: the content ghost is not my idea, it belongs to someone else).

Anyway, I watched the first of the Craft Therapy videos and I thought, "You know what? I am going to treat all this gluing and sticking like book binding, and I'm only going to do it for me!"

(I mean, I do want to sell handmade books, but also I like making them and not having the pressure of having to sell them when I'm done. It is very relieving, let me tell you!)

So yeah, basically the lesson I learnt yesterday while under the influence of a migraine was that I need to make more stuff for no reason. Not like I don't have the time right now, right? (Also I likely will share any good results on the sketchblog, because I do like sharing things with y'all!)

~

I did my last big shop update of the year! If you want to order anything from there for Xmas, I suggest doing it now so it gets to you in time!

There will be a smaller update before the end of the year, because I still need to put up the collages I made a couple of months ago, but I haven't decided on a price for them yet. But they should be up before the end of the year, with any luck, and I will let you know when that is!

# I have eczema on the side of the knuckles of my right index and middle finger, and I have no idea what triggered it re: contact, so I can only assume it is stress-related, sighs. FUN.

# I have been drawing trees, mostly, this week, and enjoying it! Turns out even if you think you know what a tree looks like, you don't. I have also painted some card with acrylic paint for collaging because a) I haven't even touched the new paints I bought over a month ago(!) and b) I found a video on yt where someone had done just that. And it is something I've thought about, because I've got a book that suggests doing that, and also: those gelli plate prints I did back in January(!!)

(I'm mad that I was so excited to get that plate and then I've used it exactly once since I did).

# I'm going to move my print on demand stuff from Redbubble to Society 6. I've been thinking about this for a while. Not because I think I'll earn more on S6 (I'll probably have as much interest as on RB, which is to say not very much at all) but, in part, because RB suspended a friend's account on there, and refused to reply to his requests as to why that happened, or reinstate his account.

So I'll probably work on that this month, and close the RB account at the start of October.

# Talking of selling stuff, I updated my ko-fi shop with some new prints! There are frogs! And mushrooms! And other stuff as well!

# On Friday, Jane streamed a game called Bear and Breakfast, wherein you play as bear called Hank, who runs a B&B in the woods. It is adorable. And just what I needed after Life is Strange, tbh.

# Although, talking of Life is Strange, I have been continuing with the series.

I watched Aoife and Johnny play Before the Storm. And I wasn't that into it. Partly because the time frame was WAY too condensed (all that in three days? COME ON. Maybe if it had been across three weeks). And I didn't like Rachel. It was nice to see her being alive and stuff, but I didn't get why Chloe found her so awesome. I also still don't really like Chloe.

There were some good bits, though! Mostly with Chloe and her dad (although the one part was a gut punch I did NOT need). And I did like Steph a lot, and I'm glad she makes a return in True Colours!

And then I started watching Life is Strange 2. I absolutely get what Dontnod are saying and going for with the narrative, but I agree with a comment which someone left on the Episode 2 LP, which is that Sean and Daniel's story is constantly shit stuff happening all the time, and there's only so much of that you can take. Also it having a nine year old child in it, and me having a nine year old nephew make for unfun times in my brain.

So I'm taking this a lot slower, and interspersing it with other stuff (like Jane's stream linked above) instead. Also I absolutely skipped about twenty minutes of the LP of Ep2 because of That One Thing that happens, because I knew it would upset me A LOT. I'm not going to say what it is, but if you've played the game, you know what I'm talking about.

# And that is where I am at right now!

We're having another heatwave! The temps could get to 29°C!

I went out shopping yesterday thinking I'd go while it was cool, and it was 22° by the time I was waiting to come home at 10:30am. UGH.

I could have - and should have, really - gone shopping on Monday, but I didn't in part because I had to take the cat to the vet for her yearly boosters, and that drained me. I don't like putting her in the carrier, and I know she doesn't like being in there (she made some of the saddest MOWs while we were on the bus both going and coming back). But she went in probably the easiest she ever has, and I almost cried from the relief*.

We got seen early, which was nice! (I was legit the only person in the surgery who wasn't staff) And the vet weighed Jazz, and she has finally lost some weight! \o/ So now she's closer to 5.5kg than 6. Which is good news for my arms!

So because that stressed me out so much, I didn't think about going back into town in the afternoon to pick up food/library books. Which, as I say, I should have, because Monday was the coolest day of the week.

ANYWAY. It's done now. I ain't going out for the rest of the week if I can help it.

~

In Ni no Kuni, I am chugging along, although I was having difficulty with a boss, so now I've had to go back to an earlier save and do some grinding, ugh.

I was saving to one file only because I wasn't finding it that difficult, but then I read a post on the subreddit for the game, where someone had (somehow!) got further than me at way lower of a level, and was now stuck, unable to grind, and only had the one save file.

So I'm glad I did that. I think I could've still gone back from where the boss fight was, but it just felt better going back to the previous save, even though it lost me a few hours of gameplay and a forced stealth section.

(Turns out a lot of people have trouble with this boss on their first encounter, even if they've played the game before, so I'm glad it's not just me).

~

And finally, I got my first member on ko-fi! \o/ I got the email notif last night, just before I went to sleep, and assumed it was one pinging me to say someone I follow had uploaded something (because it usually is), but nope!

As with redbubble sales, I'm not going to post every time this happens, as I can imagine it's annoying, but my first ever member is something to be celebrated!

~

*I keep thinking my mood has levelled out, and then something like this happens. See also: me telling Oliver in Ni no Kuni not to cry or he'll set me off.

OKAY SO BIG NEWS!

I opened my ko-fi shop and activated memberships over the weekend! \o/

I had originally intended to do it on the first of the month, but circumstances lead me not to. Then I was dithering about the prices of the memberships/the rewards and then eventually I just went, you know what? FUCK IT. Being dithery about stuff has probably cost me a lot of opportunities in the past (it certainly cost me a Patreon back in 2012), so it was time to take the bull by the horns.

You can support me from as little as £1 per month, and still make random donations as well. Of course, nobody is obligated, just. It's there if you want to.

(Also please note I will have prints available soon in there, but the UK is currently in a heatwave, so I haven't done any tests as I don't want to be making the house warmer than it already is).

1. I now have a copy of Kingsglaive. I haven't watched it yet, but I thought about taking notes while I did, but I honestly think it will mostly consist of "WHY WASN'T THIS IN THE GAME????"

2. I bought myself a new tablet on Sunday, somewhat impulsively. It is allegedly arriving at some point before 3PM today (the Royal Mail at least say on their website/tracking page that delays are possible for a variety of reasons, so if it doesn't arrive on a given date, apologies because they're trying their best).

I do need one, because my old one is slow and horrible (it's an Acer and, while they make decent laptops, their tablets are horrible. Or, at least, this one is. I have no desire to ever try another one again). I felt bad about it, because I always do, but I also realised it will work out to my benefit.

It has a decent amount of space on it (32Gb), which can be expanded with a memory card to up to 1Tb!

The reason it will work to my benefit is that I can use it for uploading WiPs to my ko-fi gallery, which is what I'd planned to do for subscribers. I will post about it when it happens, in case you are interested in subscribing (but, as always, no obligation!) That's not the only thing I can use it for, but it'll also save having to transfer pics to my computer and then upload them from there.

3. I finished watching the LP of Chocobo's Dungeon and it is delightful! I love Chocobo, and I'm pretty sure Squeenix do a plush of him, and you bet I want one.

Update: YES THEY DO.

4. I thought I had more things to say than this, but apparently not! I guess my brain is too full with the possibility of my tablet arriving at any given moment!

At some point in the near future, ko-fi are doing memberships! So I don't have to think about Patreon AT ALL! They already exist for some ko-fi gold members but, uh, that's not me right now. But eventually, they'll be available to everyone.

This is good, because I've been sharing some WiPs on my facebook page, but it's only my close friends who see it (on purpose) and, at some point, my brain went, "heyyyyy, we can run a Patreon somewhat like this!" Except that I didn't want to set one up when I already have a ko-fi sitting right there.

This means I need to get thinking about tier levels and rewards again, I guess!

~

On Sunday night, I was too knackered to deal warp floor shenanigans in Nocturne, so I booted up TWEWY on my 2DS. I am always thinking about replaying it and, since the sequel is coming out, and I bought it, I thought a refresher might be in order, even though I know the story really well already.

I hadn't played it since 2014(!!) according to the save file, but I really didn't think it had been that long!

At the moment I am most of the way through week one. I am playing on normal difficulty, but I probably ought to up it to get rarer pins. I probably should drop my level as well for the same reason. hashtag pro strats ;)

Like, I don't really care about item collection or getting A/star ratings on everything, but I do enjoy this game, and just getting the money pins for completing a fight is eh. I mean, I could do more fighting outside of the mandatory ones but since my brain was made of mush when I started this playthrough, I didn't think of that. Might restart at a higher difficulty later.

(Also the pin collection thing is garbage when you consider that there's an entire set of pins which you can only buy one of, and then complete by beating specific enemies on Ultimate difficulty, and even then, they're very rare drops. THANKS SQUEENIX).

I will pivot back to Nocturne, as I do want to actually beat it, and this is the closest I've ever been. I've only got two bosses left! But it was nice to have a break into something else for a bit.