all made up with nowhere to go

I just had three days off work, and decided I needed to get out of the house and go somewhere that wasn't work or town. So I went to Burnley, which is the next nearest town to me. I haven't been in a couple of months, and I just wanted to bimble around. I'm spending too much time stewing about something that isn't the family situation, and I really think I needed to clear my head.

And you know what? I think it worked, to some degree. I feel far more chill about what's bothering me (I'm not talking about it because ~reasons~, so no context for you OR future me). I am not 100% happy about it, but I definitely feel like my brain is in a better place with regard to it.

Talking of which! One of the lasses I work with mentioned she also wanted to go to Burnley on the same day, and I was like, "why not go together? I mean, if you want to spend some time outside of work with me, that is?" Anyway, tl;dr version, she ended up deciding not to go, but I didn't - for once in my g dang life - feel like it was my fault, or that I'd put her off in some way. And that feels weird but amazing?

Also I'm kind of proud of myself for offering to spend the time with her impulsively, without stewing over it first before asking, which I would have done in the past.

I bought some things I needed, and some things I didn't, and somehow ended up with a nail varnish that is exactly the same colour as my glasses frames (this was not intentional) - it is Atoll by Barry M and I love it already. I want the High Tide one in that range as well, as the colour reminds me of a nail varnish I used to routinely get as a teenager that is no longer made (boooo). But by the time I was buying this, and the Blue Guava one, I had already spent a fair amount of money, and didn't feel I could justify dropping ~£12 on just nail varnishes.

I also bought some video games (Gran Turismo Sport; Agents of Mayhem), and some gel pens I didn't need, but they were cheap and looked nice, and I am weak. And that's really it. I came home and spent the rest of the day chilling. It was a good time, in the end, even if I was on my own.

Xmas was a thing that happened. Which. I don't really want to talk about it. I did get some nice presents, but some unpleasant stuff happened, and it made it a not very nice day. And then parts of today weren't terribly pleasant, either. But, yanno, I guess that's 2016, eh?

So I'm not going to say any more about it.

I hope everyone had a better time than me.

~

Mum bought me Theatrhythm: Curtain Call for Xmas, and I have been playing it off and on ever since. Though I've learnt that I hold the stylus in a death grip when I press the screen for the green triggers, so I'm going to have to stop doing that, or I will fuck my wrist up again. (Because I gave myself tendinitis back in March, and my wrist hasn't been the same since).

ANYWAY. It's fun! I have played through all my favourite tracks so far. I am doing some of the quests and keep getting hit by expert scores, which I'm no good at. THAT SAID, I did manage to get through a couple of them by the skin of my teeth, so yay?

~

I got to the end of S1 of Lost! The little montage of everyone boarding the plane in flashback at the end of the last episode almost made me cry, though I seem to be a little emotional at the moment anyway. (None of the other sobby moments got me at all, but I expect that's because I know what's going to happen).

OMG JACK IS SUCH A TOOL WHY DID I LIKE HIM EVER.

Also still puzzling over why I liked Charlie at all. I mean, he's sort of grown on me a bit since the beginning of the series but...blehhh. I love his friendship with Hurley though. In fact, one thing I love is the different friendships people make with each other. I love Michael and Jin's friendship. I like Kate and Sayid's interactions (as, *cough*, previously noted).

I don't know what to make of Locke, though. A comment I read on, I think, TVT said that on rewatching it's obvious that Locke has no idea what he's doing, and is trying to make a personality cult around himself, but I dunno. It's interesting to see that some stuff that comes up in later seasons/the final episode is set down as early as this (for example: Jack and Locke's rivalry, for obvious reasons; all of the stuff with Walt that sadly didn't happen). I did often think the writers were pulling stuff out of their arses (and tbh, they probably were at points), but it's obvious on rewatching that some stuff was worked out pretty early on. Also I suppose it's more obvious when you're not waiting a week between episodes* and years between series.

The Others are a lot less scary on a rewatch, though (sadly).

~

*That said, I watched up to S3 in batches of five eps a day per season, so wasn't waiting that much between eps, but obviously also not taking note/absorbing stuff *shrugs* Probably because I was too busy flailing at all the reveals.

Note to self: it's a bassoon, not an oboe.

So, if you're unlucky enough to follow me on twitter, you'll know two things in my recent history:

1. Ursula Vernon played Hatoful Boyfriend, and live-tweeted it, and it was freaking amazing, and now I want to play it. I've been reading stuff about visual novels ever since (though technically Hatoful is a dating sim. With pigeons!) BTW, if you ARE going to read Ursula's tweets about it, there's spoilers. They're pretty vague, but they are there, nonetheless.

2. I've been without internet for three and a half days and it's been driving me MAD. Luckily, two(!!) engineers came out, tinkered with stuff, and it's now fixed. Although it somehow set the router's name and password to things I'd never seen before, so I had to get an ethernet cable and log into the router, so that was fun (for some reason, the default password I'd been gifted was AAAAAAAA, which will never not make me think of Yume Nikki, and obviously I changed it).

I kept wanting to tweet that being without internet makes me more productive (I've been working on an idea which has nothing to do with anything, and put quite a bit into it for the two days I wrote the most). But it doesn't, really. I just get more angry and, if anything, more distracted.

So anyway I've got this WHOLE OTHER IDEA that is nothing to do with anything I've mentioned as wanting to do recently. But it's keeping me amused (which is a good thing), and my mind off work. I had been playing Dragon Age II, but now I want to do anything but. Which is also good, really, because I've been drawing more than I have been recently, and enjoying it, and feel like my drawings work, so that's good, too.

There are entirely too many commas in this entry.

Also I've discovered Christine Love's games, which look really interesting. I've downloaded most of her free ones, have some tabs open with her Twine ones, and I really want to buy Analogue: A Hate Story (and its sequel, Hate Plus), but I can't afford to buy them right now. I have the demo of Analogue, so at least I can play that and see if I like it.

(It was interesting, because I could swear I've never heard of her until two days ago, but looking through her tumblr, I think I have, I just think her name didn't impinge on me (but some of the stuff she talked about did) ).

I was going to make a review post of the year, but then my internet went out. I'll do it tomorrow instead (which will be chronologically appropriate if nothing else).

I'm sort of kind of having a break, and then things will be back to normal(ish. Or, you know, whatever passes for normal in my life).

I'm going to finish looking at this Silent Hill Ask Blog, and then play Mahjong until my eyeballs fall out. Or I fall asleep. Whichever happens first.