all made up with nowhere to go

Shout out the guy who came into my workplace wearing a Monkey Island t-shirt! He said I was the first (random) person to recognise what game it was from.

I guess I have Andy Farrant and Outside Xbox to thank for that!

There was also a guy about a week ago who came in wearing a t-shirt with Camus on it, and I was like, "That's not something you see every day." And he grinned, and said something along the lines of, "I'm trying to start a following."
And then we had a conversation about Camus, and he commiserated with me about how dry and boring La Peste is.

Also one of the regulars came in around the start of the month wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with Japanese text on it, and I am painfully aware that I spent most of the time I was speaking to him staring at his chest as if I was going to magically figure out what the words said (impossible, because I can't read Japanese).

Not a lot has happened in my life since I last posted - it's pretty much been the same old, same old. I did buy a new microwave, though, which is not very exciting, but it will be useful. It turns out I missed being able to nuke something once I got in from a late shift, and a lot of my upcoming shifts this next month are lates, so...I thought, why not buy one? Not like I can't afford it at the moment. So I did. And it cooks stuff in five minutes, which feels weird and wrong, but I am not complaining!

I also bought an external cd/dvd drive for my laptop, primarily so I can rip music, but also now I can watch dvds downstairs without having to lug the TV down here. Not that it is heavy, thank frog, just annoying. I do have a portable DVD player, but it is very old, and I'm thinking of getting rid of it anyway. And the screen is TINY, which isn't ideal. Also if I watch stuff on my computer, I can screencap to my heart's content :D

Maybe that means I'll actually get to watching all (most) of The X-Files/Buffy again, and maybe it won't, but at least the option is there if I want it.

...And I finally got to getting the Matrix films on blu-ray. You know, four years after I said I'd get them for my fortieth birthday?

But I was looking to see if Resurrections was available on blu-ray, and what do you know, all four films plus The Animatrix are available in a blu-ray boxset, and so: I clicked BUY and now they are arriving today!

So now I own the first film on four different types of media (VHS, DVD, UMD, and blu-ray), and the trilogy three times on DVDs alone (singles + two different boxsets).

Because I'm me, and this is entirely predictable, I feel.

Obviously I won't be able to watch these on my computer, but that's what the DVDs are for! ;)

And then finally, I've got my penultimate counselling session in a bit. Unfortunately, it has landed as I have the recurrent Seasonal Affective part of my depression, and the counsellor, while lovely, wants to improve my scores to the questionnaire I have to answer before every session. But depression doesn't work like that! And she knows that! I am not going to be cured and not feeling vaguely suicidal by next week! Although this isn't as bad as it has been (although the initial coming hit me like a truck), I am probably going to feel like this until at least September! Maybe if I'd had the counselling when I originally needed it, but not now.

So that's that for now. Time to go wait for things to arrive! (Exciting!)

There are still spots open for the Post Once A Day Meme, if you have any burning questions you'd like me to answer or topics to talk about?

And on that note, honigfrosch asked me: After watching Matrix: Resurrections I'm interested in how your ideal Matrix sequel would have looked like?

The extremely short answer to this is nothing, because I never wanted any of the sequels. I love Keanu Reeves, and I love the Wachowskis, but there's a part of me that honestly wanted there to be one film and that was it, forever.

However, that is not what happened, as you know.

And I assume you're asking about Resurrections specifically, so here's what I think: I really like what we got. I think it follows in step with Reloaded and Revolutions in that I don't think it fits with the world of the first film, but it does gel certainly with Reloaded in tone. I can't imagine where I would have gone with the story post-Revolutions, but I am less familiar with the world than the Wachowski sisters, it not being my world to play with.

That said, I think I would've wanted something like Matriculated, from the Animatrix, where it's in the far off future, and Neo is some legend kids whisper about, but that nobody really believes.

Maybe.

I dunno. As I say, I'm pretty happy with Resurrections. ( is this a spoiler? I'm marking it as one just in case )

I don't think I have anything else to say, really, or I'll just start talking in circles and/or going off at a tangent (and nobody wants that).

~

(As I was pondering this question during the day, I realised that this year marks twenty years since the sequels were released, and now I feel very, very old).

So this afternoon, I watched The Matrix: Resurrections.

And you know what? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot.

I agree with honigfrosch's assessment that a lot of it is Lana Wachowski Having Opinions. She does have Opinions, and I agree with them.

Also my friend Chris said (rightly or wrongly, idk) that Lana wrote the film (in part) because WB threatened to make a reboot, and she didn't want that. Which makes sense. I wouldn't want that if it were me. (I mean, I wouldn't anyway, and especially not if it were a film trilogy I'd previously worked extremely hard on).

I went into to it bearing those two things in mind, and I was not disappointed. I also see why there were people who disliked it or found it average at best. Tonally, it reminds me a lot of Reloaded, and I think that's where the problem is for the folks who disliked it, imo. Me, I love Reloaded (as I think we all know), so this was more of the same, and I ate it up.

I laughed and seal clapped a lot, and I don't really have a lot else to say, except ( these three spoilers )

So yeah, I'm not going to gush all over everywhere saying everyone should watch this, I'm not that person any more. It's up to you what you watch, and I get that this isn't for everyone, and y'all might not like it. And that's fine.

EDIT: I missed my evil twin's (John Gaeta's) cameo, primarily because I wasn't expecting it, and also HOW IN HECKINS IS NEIL PATRICK HARRIS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN ME???? [/edit]

So y'all have seen the Unreal Engine 5 tech demo, right?

I am over here, screaming, because it looks amazing.

I am not the person who wants everything to be photo/hyper-realistic and whatnot but omg this is amazing! I am absolutely blown away by how good it looks. Although I note that we are in 2021, almost 2022(!!), and still can't get water and skin exactly right.

(Also og Matrix Keanu Reeves looks really off - not so much so that it triggers the Uncanny Valley response in me, but you can definitely tell he's not real. I think it may be to do with the eyes, or possibly not enough texturing on his skin? And also the fact that Keanu hasn't looked like that in 22 years ;) )

~

In other yt related news, I watched a playthrough of The Hex, which is the previous game by the person who made Inscryption. I did this because there are subtle references to it in Inscryption, so I wanted to see what they were referring to, because until Johnny did their playthrough of Inscryption, I had never even heard of them.

I like the story better, partly because it feels more complete and better explained, but I like the gameplay less than Inscryption's (I dunno, there's just something about the card game mechanics that I really like).

I have a daft theory that involves both games, so I'm going to put it in a spoiler cut below!

( wild speculation, contains spoilers! )

I mean, it's all wild gesticulating, but it was the first thing that came to mind after I was done watching The Hex PT. But that's me, leaping to illogical conclusions whenever I get chance!

Today is my penultimate day of holiday!

And, hilariously, my boss texted me saying that the area manager was asking people to book their remaining holidays before the end of the year (ours reset in January, as opposed to in the financial year). Apparently, I had ten days left, and I don't even know how I managed that! So most of it is sorted now - I'm using the majority of it in November, and then a few other days here and there!

All of this may become irrelevant if Lockdown 4.0: The Return: The Revenge happens in October, but at least I made the effort?

(I had thought about holidays earlier in the year, but didn't know how much I had left, and kept meaning to ask someone. And then it got to now, and I still hadn't asked, but now I know the answer!)

~

Bought myself a red Lamy Safari with a fine nib as a present to myself for making it through those two weeks at work without collapsing. (I'm not joking when I say I slept a lot until the weather got hotter again - it must've really taken it out of me). I bought it with a converter, as I am trying to get converters for all my pens now, with having so much ink, but also trying not to buy so many cartridges*. I got it from the same site as I bought the Kaweco from and, because they were running a 10% discount at the time I bought it, I got it for less than the Kaweco! \o/

Yes, as usual, I do not need more pens, but it doesn't mean I don't want them. Also this is the first one I bought since I got a Platinum Preppy back in April, and both my Jinhaos are broken (one on the screw to screw the nib to the body, the other is cracked because I keep dropping it. The cracked one still works, but it's only a matter of time before it starts leaking ink all over my hand when I write with it. But they were extremely cheap pens, so I am not surprised in the slightest. Apparently I can get spare parts for the cracked one, but IDK that I will).


*This has not gone well, as I bought two different blues in Kaweco cartridges to see which is the default blue you get as a cartridge with a new pen. So then I can buy a bottle of it to use, as I really liked the colour of it!

~

Also HOLY SHIT I JUST SAW THE TRAILER FOR THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS AND OMFG. I did not want this film, but if it turns out to be as awesome and/or batshit as the trailer's implying, I am 100% on board.

(side note: I didn't want Reloaded, either, and we all know how that turned out!)

~

More meme? Sure, why not!

8. Are there any upcoming Square-Enix games you're excited about?

Nope! FFXVI has failed to make me interested but, as I've noted before, trailers for games I end up liking generally fail to get me interested in anything, anyway.

9. What consoles have you played Square-Enix games on?

Nintendo DS, Nintendo 2DS, PSX, PS2, and PS4! Oh, and Gamecube, because apparently Squeenix own Taito now? and I played a LOT of Bust-A-Move on that Back In T'Day™.

EDIT: I forgot about the 360 COMPLETELY because what is my brain! [/edit]

I keep thinking about getting the PS1 releases on my PS4, just so I can have them in a more convenient format rather than lugging my PS2 back upstairs, but it hasn't happened yet. Also I am unfond of buying games I already own (but it doesn't stop me, especially where Final Fantasy is concerned, especially if it turns out to be a better translation, say, or an entirely new version, or just my favourite game but with knobs on).

10. Do you have a Square-Enix Wishlist? (i.e. game you'd like a sequel to, a remaster of, etc.)

I still sort of wish Fortress had happened, even though I don't think I would have liked the gameplay. But I wanted Basch as a main character, dang it!

As for remasters or sequels, I don't think there is anything I want those to happen to. I think pretty much everything I'd want remastered has been (or has been remade), and sequels happened to games I didn't think needed them anyway.

Since it will be my fortieth birthday in just under two weeks, I decided that I am going to buy myself The Matrix trilogy on blu ray. Yes, that means I will own the original film FOUR TIMES on three different media (VHS, DVD*, blu ray). I'm not getting the 4K version, since although my PS4 says it has HDR, I don't know if it can handle 4K, and I'm pretty sure my TV can't. So just the bog standard boxset for me.

Relatedly: I bought second hand copies of the soundtracks I don't own, which includes the original score from the first film. I have a taped copy from way back when, and how I've never managed to pick up a CD copy in all this time, I have no idea.

And then I made the mistake of watching some videos about the trilogy the other day. A couple were about why the sequels were better than you thought/good (although I don't need convincing). One of them was like, "well the og film isn't perfect anyway, why are you complaining!" and um, nobody said it was perfect? Just sit your arse down and...I dunno, stop thinking about things too hard?

Also watching those videos reminded me that a lot of complaints I heard about Reloaded came back full force after Jupiter Ascending got released**. Which just makes me think: I'm sorry? Are films not supposed to be fun? Does everything have to make absolute sense? No, it doesn't, and they absolutely should be! I watch films to enjoy myself, is everyone else not doing that?

~

WRT my phone/internet woes last week: the landline has remained...weird. There's no dial tone and, although people can call me, if I answer the phone it just sounds like it's ringing out to somewhere. I also can't make outgoing calls. So today I finally did a line test again, and they were like, "Oh, there is actually a fault! You need to book an engineer!" I had been hoping it would fix itself, or someone else would get them to come out, but I might be the only person on the street who actually still has a landline. So someone is coming tomorrow morning! I don't know what they're going to do, but I kind of wish this had been fixed a week ago? (Although my ISP was telling me there was no fault on the landline when I knew darn well there was).

Oh well, hopefully the person coming tomorrow can sort it, and then I will be back to getting mad at spam/scam callers thinking I am my mother, and correcting people who thought they'd rung the local junior school (their phone number is ONE number different from mine, and it's such an easy mistake to make).

~

*I have the entire trilogy plus The Animatrix twice on DVD at this point, so uh, yeah.

**I still haven't watched it yet, but I am absolutely going to after I've watched Revolutions. Because I've been rewatching the trilogy because WHY NOT.

Got to Macalania in FFX, about to go and kick Seymour's arse.

I don't know if I am overlevelled or not, since there are no level markers, and I never count sphere grid progressions (though this would be easier to do if I could find my strategy guide, but it appears to have done one at some point in the last five years, and I Very Annoyed. I had that thing before I had the game, I think!*). Although obviously, the AP rewards are less, the more you progress through the grid, so I'm probably bang on where I should be. (I haven't actually fled from many fights, only ones where I've felt like I just can't be arsed, e.g. when it's my tenth Ochu in a row).

Ooh, and I think Tidus has a weapon I've never seen before? Or at least, I don't remember it. It's the Basilisk Steel, which has Stonetouch, and it's freaking amazing. I haven't bothered changing it because most of the time he petrifies an enemy, unless it's immune.

Also I hit 9999 damage with Ixion on...something yesterday, and it seems too early in the game to be getting that type of damage, especially with an Aeon.

An aside: I will never not boggle when someone says they pick three characters in FFX and stick to those three doggedly. Like. Half the fun of the battle system is the swapping mechanism! (I'm just reading some posts and just...yeah...)

~

I guess I should go out for a Pokewalk - the sun is out and it looks pleasant - but I just don't want to. I've been feeling really drained lately (I had a busy week this last week or so, including covering an extra shift at work), so the thought of going out is just...blergh right now. Also the clocks went forward last night/this morning so no doubt that will make me feel worse, because it always does.

Anyway, I've got a whole lot of the rest of the day to decide, so we'll see.

~

P.S. It's The Matrix's twentieth birthday today - well, anniversary of when it was released in the US - and I honestly can't believe it's been bending my brain for two decades. Holy flurking schnit, as they say.

(it wasn't released in the UK until the 11th of June, though that makes sense to me, as it fits with my memories of watching it the first time).

~

*I mean, it's in my room somewhere, but I've looked everywhere it should be, and a couple of places it isn't, and it hasn't been in any of those places. It will probably turn up once I've gone onto something else.

We've had another sausage waffly Friday in my neck of the woods.

I set out this morning, intending to be back early. Thanks to a combination of phone calls and buses being delayed, that did not happen. I didn't get home till much later than I intended. I'm mad at myself, because there were two occasions where I should have taken the other option, and I didn't.

Though obviously, the buses were not my fault. Apparently there are loads of sets of traffic lights on the one route, and loads of the buses had got backlogged. It was funny how they managed to keep the ones on for one of the routes (when they could have rerouted a few of them the way I was going). I ended up hanging around in the bus station for ages, anyway. That was a PITA.

And then, after I'd got home and was intending to go back out, the one stair rail started coming away from the wall. So mum's had to ring up to get someone out to fix it. Which then meant I couldn't go out (even though I was supposed to), because I needed to be there to open the door and OH FUCKING GDI I DON'T EVEN.

Anyway, no-one's come yet, and I doubt they will tonight.

Edit from the future: I'd literally hit post on this and the dude turned up! The stair rail is all fixed now, yaaaaaay! [/eta]

It's Keanu Reeves' birthday today*. I hope he's having a better day than I am.

~

All right, so. I'm not saying I will do it, and I'm not saying I won't, but I may just have a podcast topic, and I might be writing about it right now.

I'm being sort of non-committal about this because I am very good at saying I'm doing a thing, and then running out of steam and not doing it. So I'm just going to keep going for now, and hoping I don't run out of steam (and if I only end up with script for one third of it, that's OK. I can live with that).

I watched the cutscenes from Enter The Matrix the other morning, and I'd totally forgotten about that awkward as fuck four line conversation between Ghost and Trinity about masturbation.

It is a thing. It exists. And it's terrible.

~

*Nine times out of ten, I can never remember how old he is (52 today!), but I always remember the month and day because it's the reverse of mine.

Films watched recently (all of them today):

# Inception
# The King and I
# The Matrix: Reloaded (selected highlights)

It was interesting to note that, while watching Inception, I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I might (probably because it's been three years since I saw it last), and that there are several ideas that run parallel to some brought up by The Matrix (knowing if dreams are real, and the nature of reality mostly, but interesting to note, I thought).

Also: Ken Watanbe's facial expressions OMG they are so much fun to watch. There's some stuff he gets across with his eyes alone and wow if I didn't already love him, I think I would be sold by that :D
Also also: spent some of the time taking the soundtrack apart as I was listening to it, like trying to follow different sections of the melody without the main parts distracting me, and that was interesting.
Also also also: Old Souls, to me, will never apply to anyone but Cobb and Saito, even though you hear most of the piece when Cobb's telling Ariadne about Mal (and so it is about them).

Finally: mum asked me what Inception is about, so I said, "It's like a heist movie, but with dreams".

(I was going to watch Memoires of a Geisha because FUCK YES KEN WATANABE*, but I got unexpectedly weepy while watching Inception (think it was down to the bits with Fischer and his father) and I decided that Memoires of a Geisha would only make me cry more (the book did), so I decided against it. I later said to mum that my experience of everything on anti-depressants versus everything NOT on anti-depressants well, everything makes me cry now, especially when I least expect it).

*I'd already decided I couldn't stick Tom Cruise long enough to get through The Last Samurai, and I wasn't in the mood for Letters From Iwo Jima at all (I dislike war films anyway, but I do want to get to watching this one eventually).

~

[There was negativity here, it's gone now]

While I may not be doing so well at reading books, I've read a lot of comics this year. Including one I read yesterday that I didn't like very much (Kill 6 Billion Demons; the art is amazing and detailed and wow, and I'm sure the story's good, but it just didn't grab me. But it took an hour to read because it's only been going since last year).
(Currently I am reading Cucumber Quest, Namesake, and Paranatural. Which is two more than I started the year with, and I've read Paranatural twice now).

(Annette read Stand Still Stay Silent and loves it (it's her fault I'm reading Namesake). I was intending to try it anyway, so I've got that lined up for some idle time at some point).

~

So anyway, that's me for the time being, I think. Hope all is well with you guys (and large hugs if it's not).