all made up with nowhere to go

Bullet points because omg my brain right now:

# I always try to buy daffodils around the end of Feb/beginning of March, because the first of March is Saint David's Day and I am, in case you didn't know, half Welsh. Also, just looking at them makes me so happy, and there aren't any wild ones nearby. And they're dirt cheap - case in point, I got two bunches of fifteen from Aldi the other day for less than £2 for both bunches. And they've opened, and there's so many of them, and I just feel absolute pure joy looking at them.

# I have had my hours increased at work! Not by a lot, but by enough, and that's fine by me.

# I had to buy a new pair of glasses, as the coating was coming off the old ones, and it was affecting my vision to the point where I was just like, "FUCK THIS!"

So that was an expense I didn't need, but it was one I made anyway because eyes are fucking important (even my extremely defective ones).

# I have finally had my first counselling session! We seemed to hop topics a lot - it felt like I was mostly bringing the person I was speaking to up to speed with my family situation. It also felt a lot like "person with alexithymia definitely proves they have it but doesn't actually say so".

And I felt really fucking validated when near to the end of the session, she said, "So you haven't had an easy life, then." And I was like, no, I haven't, thank you for seeing that. (And she doesn't even know some of the shitty stuff that happened! Just what I told her in the course of an hour).

Oh, and! When I told her how I felt while taking antidepressants, she confirmed that most people tend to feel flattened out emotionally on them. Like. I thought that was sort of just a me thing - I have had one friend confirm she also felt that way, but it has been literally one. So it was nice to know that wasn't just a me thing at all.

I don't know how useful it will end up being, especially because it's an NHS set amount of sessions (4 to 6, depending on your needs). I guess if I needed more, I would have to look into private healthcare, but that would be Expensive. I'll see how this goes, and if it helps any first.

# I bought four albums, all at once: the Everhood soundtrack; the Pizza Tower soundtrack; Everything Must Go (20th anniversary edition); and Critical Thinking by the Manic Street Preachers.

I also downloaded a program called Bosca Ceoil Blue, which is a tracker for making music. Which is the way I am used to making music - way back in t'day I used to noodle around in a program called Acid and had heaps of fun, so I'm going to have a go at plonking around in this and see what happens.

# ...I made the mistake of downloading Cookie Clicker, and that's all I'm saying. If you know, you know.

April has felt like it's been a colossally shit month. Nothing bad has happened, but my brain has just been all over the place for at least a third of it, and it's kind of ruined how good I felt at the beginning of the month. I'm starting to feel better now, but for whatever reason, the last couple of weekends at work have absolutely wiped me out.

I've got an extra day off this week, so hopefully that will help a bit *cautiously crosses fingers*

~

Vidya game updates:

# I was doing A Thing in P5S, but I have abandoned it because, frankly, it was pretty danged tedious, and I couldn't be bothered. But then I couldn't decide what game to play instead. More on that in a minute.

# I have watched both Aoife and Johnny play a game (but not together) called Weird West. It should be exactly up my alley, but for some reason I don't think I'll ever want to play it. But it was interesting to have a look at.

# I also watched Aoife play a game called Cat Cafe Manager, which looks cute a f, and is set in video game Wales! (The main character's grandma is called Nain, which is the North Walian for, uh, grandmother, and also there's characters called Gruff and Arwel).

The controls seem very finicky, however, and I'm not great at resource management games, so I would probably not play that, either.

# And then I watched my new favourite streamer play a point and click game called Later, Alligator, which is HECKING ADORABLE I LOVE IT. It's about an alligator called Pat, who is basically scared of everything, and isn't the sharpest tool in the box. He's ADORABLE. I MEAN LOOK AT HIMB!

(OMG and the track titles on the soundtrack are AWESOME!)

# Also I mentioned it on one of lassarina's What Are You Playing? Wednesday posts, but didn't mention it here, but I also watched the same person play Buddy Simulator 1984, and oh wow, that was An Experience.

# So yeah, I left the house yesterday, intending to play Okami in the evening when I got home, because I've never beaten it (and I have the HD version for my PS4). Except I went in CEX to look for DA:I, since I knew they had a copy in there and IDK, I just wanted to play it but not lug out the 360 to do so*. Also the PS4 has the better graphics and more save slots, and also I could play Trespasser if I wanted to**.

Anyway, for whatever reason, DA:I was not there, so I bought Slay the Spire instead. I've seen it mentioned with regard to Inscryption, so figured it was a card game (it is), but wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to play it or not. But I got a second hand physical copy, so thought if I didn't like it, I could get rid again.

Except.

I do like it. I can see why it's so addictive as a format. And I find it passes the time without me wondering what time it is (something that was happening on the regular with P5S once I'd beaten it - I wasn't bored as such, but I wasn't as engaged as I had been).

I like that it's easy to get the hang of, and you don't feel like you're bashing your head against a brick wall. I got past the first boss on my first run, which I didn't think would happen, but then was killed by random enemies on the second (I think), but it didn't feel like the game had it in for me. The furthest I've got so far is the second boss, and I got him to under half health before he did me in, and I'm pretty pleased with that!

So I'll probably be playing that for the foreseeable, or until I decide to play something else!

~

*Also I don't know if they ever patched that crash that happens when you talk to Cullen, but also I don't want that. I don't like it when my console crashes *side eyes Bethesda*

**I know it's been exty years, but I am STILL fucked off that Bioware did that. EDIT FOR CLARITY: I mean that they didn't release all the DLC on the 360/PS3. Which wouldn't have annoyed me so much if they'd stuck to their original plan of just releasing DA:I on PS4/Xbone. I'm glad I got to play it on my 360 but also *shakes tiny fists at Bioware* [/edit]

I am almost at the end of Kingdoms of Amalur! (I think? Time estimates vary wildly, but there's a consensus that the main plot is between thirty and forty hours. I'm about twenty five in, I think, and I didn't do a ton of side quests).

I'm enjoying it a lot more than I expected to, even if it reminds me a lot of different games I've played already. Which feels a bit like when I watch a TV program or read a book and am like, "this is like this other thing!" which sometimes I wish I didn't do that?

So mostly it's like Dragon Age II and Fable smushed together. Though there are some bits that are like DA:I (prismere is red lyrium, right? Especially when ( MASSIVE SPOILER! ). I know this is the second game where I've said this but also this is more obvious than the nethicite AND both KoA and DAII were released by EA).

I've seen a lot of people compare it to Skyrim, but it doesn't feel like that to me (I think it depends on what you've played? But praying at the roadside shrines does feel like Oblivion to me, primarily because that element doesn't really exist in Skyrim*).

I do wish, however, that it didn't adhere to the "All Celtic myths/sources are the same thing!" though. It's nice to not have a smush of Irish/Scots, and the majority of the inspo is Irish and it sticks to it (and all the fae have Irish accents, because otherwise how would we know they're fae, right?) But then there are characters (either fae or elves, but I think mostly fae) whose names are blatantly Welsh inspired, but it's like the writers/creators/whoever didn't care enough to put any effort into how the names sound (looking at you, Owaiglyn! ESPECIALLY you).

(My nitpicking reminded me of this post about writers using Irish as Discount Elvish by Orla ní Dhúill which admittedly I haven't read till just now, but it's the same feeling of They Just Didn't Care Enough).

I mean, goddamnit, if you're going to do something like this, pick a mythology and fucking stick to it! AND DO YOUR SODDING RESEARCH. Wales is not Ireland and neither of those places are Scotland, even though there are some similarities in language/myths if you look hard enough/in the right places.

(Oh yeah, and? The game's lore saying the Travellers are the most renowned thieves in the land? NOT A GOOD LOOK, MY MAN).

As angry as I sound about this, I am enjoying the game in general. The plot is interesting and coherent (unlike Skyrim. No, I will not take that back). I am interested to see how it ends (I sort of know spoilers, but not exact enough ones to know exactly what's coming).

(and I'm not really mad mad, just highly irritated).

The soundtrack is awesome (and also very Fable-esque, which is not a bad thing in the slightest).

So yeah, I'm glad I eventually came around to this and picked it up!

~

*I know there's the stones that grant bonuses, but that's not the same thing.

I fell into a Critical Role hole again, and am currently at episode 24. I am painfully aware that had I not stopped watching back in November, I could have been caught up by now.

I skipped the Slayer's Take episodes because I can't stand Felicia Day or Wil Wheaton (I did try! I promise!)

I made myself a twitter to livetweet about it, and you can find it at gwyntgwyn, if you are interested in my vague ramblings about a thing I never thought I would be into. (Although given how many times I've enjoyed hearing about Ursula Vernon's D&D adventures over the years, I would've thought that maybe I would be up for this, especially since I was already a fan of a couple of the voice actors in question*. Obviously I still have no idea how my brain works).

When I am caught up, though, I owe those guys a letter of thanks for their seeing me through some boring A F chores and for keeping me amused. (I kind of want to make something as well but I don't know what. Also IDK/can't remember if they're still accepting gifts from fans or if they'd rather we did something else instead).

~

It was the comics meet on Sunday, so of course I went. (I can't remember if I said about going last month, but I did).

I've been totally unable to draw the last twice I've been, just because I've been feeling uninspired. But I think part of that is that my brain sort of...not exactly slacks off in winter, but I definitely draw less from about November to about March-ish.

Anyway, it was good, a fun time was had, and can you believe that in two months, I will have been going there for a year?

~

HAPPY SAINT DAVID'S DAY!

~

*I find it hilarious that eight months ago, I only sort of nebulously knew who Matt Mercer was, and knew that he'd replaced Troy Baker as Kanji's voice in the P4 remake/some of the spin offs, yet when pressed to recall his name, couldn't. And now? WELL OF COURSE I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW.

I asked nintendoh to give me a letter for a meme, and he did! I got the letter S.

Pre-emptive spider warn, because I know I'm not the only arachnophobe here. Also discussion of eating habits.

( meme )

If you want a letter, hit me up! :)