all made up with nowhere to go

I've got another Bluesky invite code if anyone wants it?

~

In other news: GUESS WHO FINALLY HAS A PAYING JOB AGAIN????

Oh yes, it is me. It is unfortunately not a library job, but it is a job and it pays me money, so I am not going to complain about it. I've only been there a week so far, but it seems to be going okay? I have a lot to learn, since it's not the same environment I've been in for the last four years, but I am sort of getting the hang of it. I think.

My shift end times don't line up with the buses on a lot of occasions, but that's the bus company's fault, not my job's. And anyway, I've been saying for years now that I want to get a bike, and this would be the perfect excuse to have one (although with the weather being like it is today - heavily raining - I wouldn't want to cycle there and back anyway).

I don't know if I will have the time or mental space to continue doing a bit at my voluntary job, but I said I'd let my boss there know once I had more of an idea of what my shifts would be like. Which I can't do at the moment as she is on holiday abroad.

~

Also I forgot to mention this when it happened, but my mood has improved a bit! I think it is the time of year - I've never liked summer, and that feeling's increased exponentially as the weather's changed for the worse over the years, so I think my worst period of the year now is late spring/all summer.

I dare say getting a job has helped, but I noticed the shift in my mood happened even before I knew I'd got it.

~

In video games news: I am into the fourth Palace in P5R, and I noticed that I am WAY overlevelled. Most of the enemies are a good five levels below everyone. This is not because I've been grinding, but I think because Akira has the accessory that gives 15% extra EXP, and also I have the extra EXP active in Mementos. I'm tempted to take it off and equip him with something else instead but also, IDK, I like not having too many problems in an Atlus game :D

I also started watching a Let's Play of Silent Hill, because it is spooky season, and because I love it. I haven't finished watching it yet, but I probably will today or tomorrow, since it's not a long game.

List post, because my brain is minimal rn:


# I was so tired last night that I went to bed early and, according to my activity tracker/watch, managed to then sleep for 10.5 hours. I do not dispute this. I shut my eyes around 8pm and didn't surface again until 6:45am. But I must have needed it!

# I have been put on a one day health and safety course for tomorrow, because everyone who "helping" me look for work is adamant that what I need is More Qualifications.

I am a fan of education, but ehhhhhhhh. I'm not sure a lack of qualifications is what's the problem here (I'm educated to almost degree level, but evidently not in anything "useful", lol).

Anyway, the point is that I have to leave the house at stupid o'clock to get where I'm going, and I don't wanna *stamps feet*

# It's been raining a lot more recently, which I'm extremely grateful for. Temps are now mid to high teens instead of mid to high twenties which, phew.

# I've finally finished all my sewing projects, including one that had been waiting for seven months for me to finish it, so now I don't know what to do with myself! Which is not strictly true, as I do have a couple of ideas, but one of them won't take very long at all (in comparison to, say, the mini quilt which seemed to take forever) and then I'm out of ideas again!

I have been looking through some textile books I got out of the library, and one of them has instructions for making 3D birds, so I thought I might have a go at making a couple of corvids :D (likely a crow and a jay)

I'm also going to go through some of my mum's old magazines again, as some of them gave me ideas when I looked at them originally, but at the time I wasn't really doing much textile work. Who knows what may come of it!

# I think I'm going to replay FFXIII-2, because I've been having a craving. I mean, it's either that or XII again and I'm p sure I don't need to play XII for the eleventh time. And it's been eight years since I last beat XIII-2, so it's about time I redid it. Especially because I keep saying it's my favourite of the three in that trilogy (which it is!)

# I think that's all I've got for now. Time to go and decide what to have for dinner.

Nobody will be surprised (or perhaps you will?) to learn that all this hyperfixating on the Manics for the past almost three months now has reactivated my crush on Nicky Wire, and it's hit really frikken hard. I mean, really hard. In part because I haven't been crushing on anyone for years for ~reasons~ that I'm still not 100% sure about, so like, it was nice to realise that I obviously still found him attractive*. But. Like. Also I saw a pic of himself that he posted on IG last night, and my brain just went oh fuckkkkkk** and I just wasn't bloody prepared for that, you know? Because it's been so long since my brain has had to process feelings like this!

Feels kind of strange, to be honest, but I guess I will get used to it again.

~

Also yesterday (the 20th) was the 27th anniversary of Everything Must Go being released, and now I feel very, very old.

I mean, I already was, kind of, because being into a band for almost thirty years feels so weird. It's a very long time to be into something, especially for me, when I feel like sometimes my interests change as often as the direction of the wind.

It is not my favourite Manics album. I don't have one. I can't say I love them all equally, because I don't (*side-eyes Postcards From a Young Man*), but I also don't put one above the others. This one was just my gateway.

~

In non-music related news, I had two interviews last week, and one of them was the worst I've ever had in my life. I didn't get the job, and I am so glad. The other one I'm waiting to hear back about, but that might not be for a while yet. That interview went much more as expected, and it was like a breath of fresh air after the other one.

And really that's the most exciting thing that's happened in the last week because my life is very boring, and honestly I prefer it that way.

~

*I'm going to put this in the footnotes because it's a massive aside but, tl:dr version is that I am dead sure at this point that a lot of the people I've thought I had crushes on in the past, whether celebs or folks I know irl, is because I've convinced myself I did, rather than having actual feelings about them. So it's nice when the occasional one turns up who I'm like, "nope, you're still pinging me in a good way". I could say more, but I won't because a) it's boring and b) this footnote is long enough as is.

**In a good way.

This is possibly the longest I've gone between posting entries? I dunno. A lot has been happening, and yet also it hasn't, because a lot of it is mechanically boring stuff that I doubt you want to hear about.

Last week I had two interviews, but did not get either job. One was for a library post, which would have been ideal, but hey ho! Next time, perhaps! I had another interview yesterday afternoon, but I definitely know already that I won't get that job - there was one question I was asked that I flat out didn't have an answer for, because I've never been asked it before! (It was about if I'd ever made suggestions to improve processes at work, and if they'd been taken on board, and no, I never have, so they never were).

Anyway, this week I have mostly been at a new volunteer job. Except it's "work experience" because it's via the job centre. It's working in a supermarket environment, which I wasn't thrilled about to begin with, but I do need experience in it. And I might get a job there at the end of it, but also I might not. I kind of hope I do, because it's just in town, which makes it so easy for me to get to.

I thought it was going to knacker me because it's a lot of lifting and walking about the store, but actually things haven't been too bad! My feet hurt really badly on the first day, but by the third I was mostly okay? Also sorting stuff into the places it goes is one of those things that makes my brain go brrrrr, which is obviously I enjoy because yay dopamine!

I technically don't have the time to do the old volunteer job, but I haven't left it as such (and I won't until I get paid employment anyway).

~

In other news, I have been mucking about with Sharpies for putting colour on my art!

I can't remember exactly what lead me down this path, except that I was thinking about how I wanted some alcohol markers, but Sharpies were all I had, so they were what I must use.

I really want a set of Ohuhu markers, but to buy them from the manufacturer would cost me ~£8 postage and probable customs charges as they are shipped from Germany, and I can't afford that right now. I know I could just buy them off Amazon, but I haven't bought from Amazon in eight years, and I'm not about to start again now.

Also when I first discovered this I didn't know if I would actually want to use them much, or if I would end up either regretting buying them or not using them much. And I know there are other alternatives to Ohuhu, but I've heard loads of good things about them, and they're not as expensive as some brands *cough*Copics*cough*.

Anyway, I ended up using the Sharpies I had, and all was good, but my palette was extremely limited, and mostly blues and greens (by accident and not design for once!) Now, I am not about to complain about this, as they are colours I gravitate towards anyway, but I also like to use other colours as well!

So I bought a set of 24 with some of my birthday money after I had the interview yesterday, so now I have a wider range of colours! They still mostly skew towards blues and greens, and I have a couple of dupes now, but also now I have some different colours as well!

I have already scanned some art featuring the Sharpie colour, but the scans need editing, and I haven't had the time to do it yet, what with everything else that has been going on. But they will be up on the sketchblog soon, so keep an eye out for them! (maybe) I'm really happy with them and, again, it is giving me the dopamine hit, even if they do smell kind of foul while I'm using them.

I had an interview the other day, and I didn't get the job, but the manager who interviewed me said if ever another job came up at their place, I should try applying again. Which was nice of him.

I also am going to be starting a new volunteer job! I hope! I spoke to the manager of one of the local charity shops yesterday, and I'm going in tomorrow morning for a couple of hours to see if I like it there.

~

So I had a commission back in November and, with some of the money from it, I decided to buy some perle threads to sew with, because that's what my weasel brain is currently obsessed with. I thought I only had some fancy looking Anchor multicolours which I currently don't want to use (because I don't want to "waste" them; I am trying to break this mindset, though). So anyway, I made an order, and managed to luck out and get the threads for slightly cheaper, as there was a sale on.

While I was waiting for them to arrive, I thought I'd have a look through some of mum's stuff that I hadn't looked at for years - namely the crochet threads, as you can use them for sewing, and I've never had the dexterity to crochet with them.

Guess what was lumped in among with them?

Only a whole load of perle threads.

I,,,

I did not, however, cancel my order, because I had (unknowingly) ordered several colours that I did not find, as well as two replacement multicolour skeins of DMC thread that I bought last year and I absolutely love the colours of.

I also found a whole bunch of tapestry wool skeins which I knew I had, but had somehow misplaced*.

TL;DR version: now I have a whole bunch of perle cotton threads, coton a broder, and crochet threads! As well as the heap of embroidery threads I already owned!

(I've been reading up a bit about a Canadian quilter called Judy Martin, who started a textile piece on her 59th birthday with the aim of using up her thread/material stash. Perhaps I should do the same?)

(I have also thought about making fabric kits because I also have a lot of that, and some of it I will definitely never use because I don't like the feel of it**, or I don't like the pattern on it).

This is partly, though not entirely, why I've decided to pivot towards textile based art for the time being.

Also I used some of the perle cotton for the first time last night, and I love it! It's so smooth and wonderful, and - I said jinxing myself - it doesn't seem to knot up like six stranded cotton can do. And I love the finish of it. I now realise some of the stuff I've been looking at online has been sewn using it, and now I can know, I can see if I can make things that come out more like the things I saw and was inspired by.

~

I thought I had something else to say, but I don't! I'm going to go and ponder what to have for dinner.

~

*We got a whole bunch donated to work one time, and I had to stop myself buying some of them because I knew I had a bunch, and do I do tapestry? I do not.

**I would love to know if there are other textile users with texture issues, but I don't know how to go about asking other people (except from, like, asking friends, or putting up a badly worded tweet).

Two entries, in one day, what the heckie??

I thought I'd put the meme stuff separate from everything else, just to make it a bit smoother/less of a massive entry. I had been going to post the meme post earlier in the week, but then real life happened!

There is Some Stuff going on at work that I don't really want to talk about yet, except from my work friend, Katy, is leaving and I am really sad! But she's going to what is literally her dream job, for an actual living wage, and I am very pleased for her.

I had an interview this Friday just gone, for an extremely similar job to the one I'm already doing. It's almost four times as many hours as I'm doing right now, although the pay is the same. But more hours would be good! I don't know that I will get it, but the interview went all right, I thought, and it's all experience for the next one!

I bought a bunch of art supplies that I needed/didn't need which ended up including Too Many Gel Pens, but in my defence, some of them of were dirt cheap! I got seven Zebra gel pens for £1.78! That's a bargain! (this is the type I got, but I got a set of three, and a set of four, not a big multipack. Though I want a big multipack now, drat it).

I also finally got some gesso, for my canvases, and because I discovered a whole bunch of paintings that I don't like any more, so want to paint over. So I'm going to do that. And then paint stuff I do like on top of them! \o/

I have also bought my first Posca pens! Just in a basic black and white, for outlining stuff, or maybe doing monochrome pictures, we'll see. I really want one of the pastel multipacks, but I can't justify the price of them to myself (I know it's because they're imported, but blehhhhh).

I find it absolutely hilarious, in some ways, that Posca pens are the in thing with a lot of artists in the past few years, as I remember seeing them in stationery catalogues when I was younger, but not really knowing what they were for (not art, not back in the mid-nineties). And then when people started posting art with them on the internet, I was like, omg, those are still around???

I have also just bought myself an Animal Crossing jigsaw puzzle, as I saw one the other day while mooching around pre-interview, and I was like, "even though this is in a cheap place, I have already spent a lot of money, and cannot justify it to myself!" And then I went and bought it online this morning, because the chances of me getting back to that shop and it being in stock still are minimal. Anyway, it was this one, primarily because it has Beau on it, and I am a sucker. (Now I look at it again, I see all the animals on there are some of my fave villagers, so YAY).

I've been looking for a nice jigsaw to do since chatting a bit to honigfrosch about them, but most of the ones I've seen either at work or in shops have been downright twee, or just a subject I'm not interested in. Until now!

I think this is a long enough entry for now, and I don't think y'all really need to know about the table I got from work, or the roast chicken I cooked, so I shall end this here! (I did want to talk about Diablo III, but that can wait till later!)

I had an interview for a supermarket job on the 21st! I only didn't mention it beforehand because I'm really superstitious about telling anyone (I think that if I tell someone I've even applied for a job, it means I won't get it, so interviews even more so). I didn't expect to get called for an interview at all, so that was a surprise, and I honestly don't think I will get the actual job, although I won't know till the middle of next week.

(It will be HI-LARI-OUS if I do get it, though, because I will be working in the same location I used to work 16 years ago, but in an entirely different building. Hopefully, though, this job wouldn't lead me to quit because of a nervous breakdown!)

And in other job related news, I have been signed up for an online interview techniques course (I asked for it, I wasn't just told I had to do it). I've not done anything like this before. I mean, I have in person, but not using my computer, so this is all new! (I didn't video chat with anyone during lockdown so currently I am all ?????) I don't know if it's one to one or in a group, but I can ask about that next time I speak to the person who referred me.

~

I watched Ellen play through as much as Ghost of Tsushima as was available on Outside Xtra (I forgot she stopped playing for the Kingdoms of Amalur remaster, whoops). I am still in two minds about it. I don't hate the obvious cinematic influences (and they are EVERYWHERE) but they still kind of bug me and I don't know why. Which is kind of daft, because that sort of thing doesn't annoy me in other games? My brain is a weird thing, for sure.

Of course, now I want to consume all the Kurosawa films I haven't seen which is most of them because I've only seen The Seven Samurai. Though the British Film Institute currently have a bunch of them available online if you subscribe, and it's only £5 a month which is not bad!* Not that I can afford a subscription with them right now, but it's something to bear in mind for the future.

~

Other stuff:

- my almost twenty year old Kenwood stereo is finally knackered. The left audio output is busted, so it only plays sound in mono now. So I potentially need a new stereo, but cannot afford it right now.

- I shuffled my chair and side table around a bit in the living room, and everything feels a bit weird now. But I have mildly more floor space, so I am not complaining!

~

*I don't know if it's available outside of the UK, though.