all made up with nowhere to go

As of 5pm yesterday, my workplace is closed for two weeks. I wanted this to happen, because we're non-essential and in contact with vast swathes of the public but, now it has, I feel weird. Although who am I kidding, I was already feeling weird what with, well, everything.

So I'm basically going to social distance as much as possible during these two weeks. I'm going to one of the local shops in a bit to see if I can find flour*, and then just not go out for several days, or until I need to.

I intend to do some baking (hence the flour) instead of buying snacks. I'm also going to do some language and music theory revision, as well as some creative stuff. I might actually get round to thinning out my DVD collection, too. It isn't massive, but there's a bunch of films I bought and didn't watch, so I might as well get rid of them.

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Links!

There's a special Four Job Fiesta for FFV running to raise money for Medécins sans Frontiers.

honigfrosch is running a Poetry Comment Fest wherein you post your favourite poem, or a poem you've written, in the comments.

tozka has made a list of free stuff you can enjoy while social distancing/quarantining.

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That's all I've got for now. Stay safe, y'all.

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*Flour was the only thing I couldn't get during a shopping trip yesterday after work, so hoping the shop has it and hasn't been cleared out by idiots hoarding stuff.

Books I have been trying to read recently:

# Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher - this is a book about suicide. Mainly told from the POV of a boy, who idolises a girl, who is the one who took her life. It didn't make me as mad as I thought it might, but I expected to feel sympathy for the dead girl, but didn't, because she came across as a selfish, vindictive brat. I gave up after about a hundred pages (if that).

# Black Rabbit Hall by Eve Chase - I was listening to this on audiobook with my mum, and I actually enjoyed it. I say this, because I never would have picked it to listen to.

# Guilt Trip by Judith Cutler - another audiobook with mum. Didn't like this one (because, aside from anything else, the narrator seemed determined to read it at breakneck speed, which I didn't like). I felt like I was missing a lot, but there are three (?) books about the same character prior to this which I haven't read.

# Boy Meets Boy by David Leviathan - I lasted about ten pages before I threw this on the floor (which is why I didn't add it to my Goodreads). I didn't like the tone it was written in, and I didn't like some of the language used.

# I am now reading Fans of the Impossible Life by Kate Scelsa. I have nothing to say about it yet, as I'm only sixty pages in, but I am enjoying it. I picked it up because the way I feel sometimes resonates with Mira, who is one of the main characters (it says on the back that some days she feels so shit she can't get out of bed and yup. I know that feel).

Most of the reviews on Goodreads seem to feel cheated that they were promised a bisexual love triangle, and they didn't get it (which is not a thing I would object to reading about - though I'd feel better if it were resolved by polyamory rather than being, uh, triangular). Which. The blurbs on the book must be different in the US, because I was promised none of that. I wanted to read it because of Mira, and because of Jeremy (who is an awkward art nerd, which I feel on a GRAND SCALE, and also it's not treated like he's some quirky, weird dude, which is REFRESHING, let me tell you).

Mostly, I'm expecting nothing from this book.

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ENIGMA CAME IN THE POST THE OTHER DAY!!

It was a lot later than the email from the seller promised me, but it did come within the time frame specified by eBay, so I have no complaints (I guess). I had a flick through it, but didn't read it, and it is mostly as I remember.

I'm really looking forward to re-reading it, so I hope it lives up to my memories.

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I got a big (30, as opposed to 14) pack of allergy tablets. They are the drowsy type (cetirizine), rather than the non-drowsy (loratidine, or however you spell it), which is what I usually get. The internet and the tablets claim they are not drowsy, but a glance at fucking_meds says otherwise.

These were the only ones available as a big pack, which is why I'm trying them. However, I also learnt on fucking_meds that you can build up a tolerance to loratidine, which I was starting to suspect anyway, as it was doing nothing for my hayfever. So if these work for me, that will be amazing.

(I know you can build up a tolerance to anything - but I don't take allergy meds apart from when I have hayfever, so I didn't think I'd have a tolerance to them).

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I found a website I didn't even know I'd bookmarked, which generates a random melody shape for you. It can't play it for you, so I put into Musescore, and then found myself turning it into a tune.

I'm not finished with it yet - I think it needs some more fiddling with (like the end of it being less abrupt), but I think it is a viable piece of music? I hope it is, anyway.

Obviously this is a bit late on in the month, but I've decided on a goal for this year: I'm going to get better on my guitar.

I mean yeah, I can play a guitar in a sense that if you slap a piece of sheet music down in front of me, I can play the melody (if it isn't too complicated), but only as long as it doesn't wander too far off the treble stave (though I'm getting better at bass now). I can't play chords with anything approaching confidence, and I only know two, and I think the fingering on one of them is wrong. Also my strumming is all wrong, since I taught myself from books and never had a "proper" lesson in my entire life.

I own two guitars. For a lot of the last twelve or so years, they've just sat in my room, taken out for the occasional strum when I get nostalgic (well, I've only had the full size one for just under ten years; the half size one is the one I learnt to play on). So I'm going to stop being nostalgic and sad that I can't play better, and learn some chords. If I get three chords down, I can learn a song (or three) that uses them. That's an easy enough goal.

Also I find it easier to transcribe music from an actual instrument*. I also twiddle better on an actual instrument. Musescore is great, and everything, but it's just not the same for me. So that it will probably help me with composition is also a bonus.

(One of my non-post-apocalyptic life skills besides being able to sight read is being able to tune a guitar by ear, as long as I have a reference for bottom E. Then there is lots of twanging and humming to myself and then eventually I have a tuned guitar. I've got an app on my phone that just tells me when I'm in tune, and it works so much faster and I LOVE IT).

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*I transcribed a bit from the Interview With The Vampire soundtrack when I was a teenager on my guitar. I think I did an ok job, though if I went back and checked it now, I'd probably have issues with it, if only because my ear's trained a bit better now??

Divergent finally arrived at the library (apparently it was delayed for so long because teenagers). I started reading it, and I have no doubt it's readable, but I had to stop because I just can't take it seriously. I suppose it's my own fault because, at this point in time, I've seen a lot of parodies of the dystopian YA stuff and...it seems a lot of the parody material came from here (or very, very similar).

So, I am sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be reading it any time soon.

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I am really enjoying Lightning Returns! I think it's really fun, and I don't feel pressured playing it.

I am failing really badly ( versus this spoiler )

Also the music is amazing! Some of it is more like a film score than a game score (and not that I have a problem with this; I like it, and it makes a refreshing change). I also like the music in the towns alters with the time of day (my favourite at the moment is Reverent Souls, which is the night time music for Luxerion. I don't know the night time music for Yusnaan, even though I've spent equally as long at night there, because most my time there was in the palace, where different music plays *rolls eyes*). Some of the soundtrack reminds me of FFX's soundtrack, but they share a composer in common, so I shouldn't be so surprised? I don't know.
(also honestly: composition goals are some of the tracks. I love instrumentals with lots of texture and gaaaaah. ONE DAY! ONE DAY!)

# I have two grumpy kitties who didn't eat their breakfast, though one of them will have eaten everything I gave him by tomorrow morning, because I swear he's a bottomless pit covered in fur.

# Having a John Williams moment, so:

An 8-Bit remix of The Raiders' March
16 bit version of the Imperial March from Star Wars
Jurassic Park Main Theme (8-bit) (apparently this guy cheated and dumped a MIDI into a program and voila, instant chiptune. CHEATING!)
Hedwig's Theme (8-bit)

(I love chiptunes)

(they are the reason I want to learn to compose music. Yeah, I know everyone and their cousin makes chiptunes these days, but if I let that sort of reasoning put me off, I wouldn't persist at being an artist or a writer).

# Talking of which I need to do some music theory because I haven't done any for months. UGH.

Until the 9th of Feb, you can download the tavern songs from DA:I for free! It's totally legit and everything! here

They included the sheet music as well, so just imagine I linked to a .gif of Rikku doing that dog paddle thing. Also I've yet to hear one of them all the way through or even clearly (but I blame that on my TV rather than DA:I's sound or my ears).

So. In the spirit of sharing!

Meanwhile, ( the usual: spoilers )

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Other than that, I spent today plinky plonkying about learning some more music theory. It makes more sense now! I don't know why I was so confused about intervals! But I am still stuck on the part of how I get actual music from this (I'll get there. Eventually. I'm going to get my keyboard out and plink plonk on that, because I think making the noise works better for me than placing notes and hoping it sounds OK).

And I got LMMS to sort of work how I want it to! I find the piano roll horrible and confusing, and I wish you could rearrange where the keyboard is shown, because up the side of the window makes no sense to me (even though I see why it's put like that). So now I have this horrible thing with a REALLY annoying drum beat, but hey! it's totally a thing! Now I just have to noodle around some more, and build on it, and see if I can get it to go where I want it to.

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Also, I'm working on those posts I said I'd write (for anyone who missed it: my old job; experiences at art college; and DA and mages). I would've got on with it but mood so flippy floppy right now.

I cannot even compose music, and yet on Wednesday I bought a pad of manuscript paper (it's double-sided!) In my defence, I sort of want to say, "well I can copy scores to it and use it in art!" but I don't think even I believe that, let alone anyone else.

I also bought Teach Yourself: Complete French (sadly without the CD, but eh) because it was £3 instead of 18. I don't have an actual French book like that, I suppose because I did all my French learning at school, and didn't think I'd need one in later life (I think I thought I'd retain it perfectly in spite of barely having conversed in it since leaving school. Man, past me was an idiot). (That said, I do have a textbook I, uh, forgot to return when I finished my A-Levels. It has the most awesome verb tables in the back, and I have no idea where it is).

I would like to stop buying random things that cost small amounts of money and try to save for a new scanner instead. My old one is not broken, but it is SO ANCIENT that no amount of trickery can get it to work in Linux. I have not been able to use one for eighteen months now, and it's driving me nuts.

(I still want Dragon Age: Inquisition, though, but it's not essential to my job - THAT SAID. Man, EVERY TIME I see DA:I Alistair, I legit stop breathing because dang he has grown up somewhat has he not (example .gif). I keep expecting it to be someone else and nope, it's the gosh darned king of Ferelden* and actually wow. I'll shut up now).

*Well, I assume he's king in that gif because his armour looks so flipping shiny. I could be wrong, though since I don't know context and please don't give it because SPOILERS. Unless you want to tell me how old he's supposed to be because apparently he's NINETEEN in Origins and I did not know that until literally a week ago. According to the DA wiki and my shitty maths, he's thirty-one?? OK REALLY SHUTTING UP NOW.

(GOSH DANG WHY. SEVERAL NAILS BEING HIT RIGHT ON THEIR HEADS HERE I DID NOT EXPECT THIS CAN YOU TELL).

RIGHT. UM. YES.

I've been drawing a lot over the past few days! I've been redrawing little doodles as bigger pictures for prints and stuff. I'm going to have to photograph them until I acquire a scanner, which is a slight hassle, but at least I've got a DSLR and a tripod to do it with. I'm going to post them to tumblr, and mirror here, because ruuger asked if I'd thought about hotlinking images from there and you know what? I had not. So I'm going to attempt to do that, because I know not all of you guys are on tumblr or even follow me there. And then I'm going to make an account on a print on demand site, and then you can buy things from me if you want to! YAAAAY.

Right. I'm going to shut up for reals now and go and sit in the corner. Or something.

Godmother by Ursula Vernon.

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I've been trying to find the lj entry where I read about switching everyone's paths in FFX, but I have no idea how long ago it was, nor who posted it. I don't even know what to google for. Not so much because I don't know what I'm doing (I sort of do. I spent three hours grinding today WHICH I HATE BY THE WAY for that very reason. Also to shift Rikku over to Auron's grid, but I need to use her more because that's not happening - she's still too close to her own right now). I am SO SICK of hearing Movement In Green because of it, and I freaking love that track. I suppose I should've shut the sound off and put some of my own music on, but that didn't really occur to me.

(Talking of music, I FINALLY have hold of a decent music theory book that makes sense! HURRAH).

I'm sick of fighting Ochus, too (they have too much HP and I am not strong enough. PFFT).

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Oh yes, I watched The Wolverine!

It was OK (to be fair, I went in expecting it to be probably shite, so all in all a good time was had). I'm glad I'm not more familiar with the arc they adapted, although in some ways I wish I was, because there were things I had assumed were true about Wolverine (comicsverse) that actually might not be (although as we know comics and movie verse are unmixy things). The stinger mid-credits was tosh, though. I don't really care about Days of Future Past, and it felt tacked on and a bit hokey to me.

I thought the fights were interestingly choreographed, which is always good. The story was all right, and I liked Mariko and Yukio kicking ass, and now I want a film about Logan and Yukio kicking ass together because I think it would be awesome. (I wasn't sold on the romance even though I knew it happened anyway). Heck, I would actually watch a film about Mariko kicking ass. That would be cool (but it will NEVER HAPPEN *sighs*)

Then I discovered on Thursday that I could've just borrowed it off Jackie's husband instead of renting it. (I didn't think to ask because Jackie isn't into comics/superhero films anyway, and I don't know what her husband's into except video games. OH WELL. Maybe I will learn for next time).