all made up with nowhere to go

Because I am an adult, I spent today colouring in and watching A:tLA. I started a rewatch a bit since, but it petered out because of horrible stuff, etc. but I decided since there was bog all on TV, why not put it on? So I did. I watched from The Winter Solstice Part 2 (trust me to stop on a two parter, eh?) to The Fortuneteller (skipping Jet as per usual because nope). I could've watched more, but I was feeling super sleepy, so I went for a nap (and actually napped! It was amazing!)

I think I might have to skip Appa's Lost Days because I'm not in the right frame of mind for it at the best of times, never mind right now, and probably also The Day of the Black Sun (or whatever it's called) because it's boring (imho). (Also I have only watched the most part of S3 once, but you didn't hear me say that).

But yeah. Colouring in.

I've been looking up printable papers on the internet (and coming to the conclusion that I could just design my own, and I could. But it will take some learnings, but that's OK). So of course, because I'm not fussy about how I search for them, I've found several designs to print out and colour in. This reminded me that I have two books of patterns to colour, but I've never done it because - get this - I'm afraid of using the wrong colours. WHAT A CROCK OF BULLSHIT. There are times when I hate my brain, and this is one of them. I mean, what even ARE the wrong colours? Where does it tell me what are the right ones? I swear to god sometimes I don't know.

The upshot is, I got one of the books out, and I sat down with some pens, and I freaking coloured. And while I wish I'd chosen slightly different ones, or that some of the inks were a bit paler, I don't think I've done a bad job! I haven't gone outside the lines, so I consider it a success!

~*~

JJBA-wise you will probably be pleased to hear I haven't been reading much (I'm sure everyone is fed up of me talking about it by now, right?) Although it's kind of annoying because I REALLY wanted to read Stone Ocean, and now the universe keeps finding reasons for me not to. Also damnit, I stopped in the middle of an arc again so I will have no idea what's going on when I get back to it.

*sighs*

I got a whole load more of cheap yarn, so now I've had to ban myself from buying any more because pretty soon, we're going to drown in it. So now I have to get on and make some stuff (photos forthcoming; once I stop being a lazy fart, of course).

(I keep having a niggle whereby Aang has to learn yarnbending - ideally it'd be a two-panel comic - and he ends up in a complete mess (because it's more hilarious that way). Also Avatar would be the best thing to watch while working y/y? I need more stuff to listen to/watch because I'm getting bored of CDs/music in general. I need some German CDs so I can learn to speak as I'm working, but also stuff to watch would be good. Like, as I say, Avatar. I've got to remember to hook the DVD player up and actually do it. Now would be good, since it's a year since I watched it first c:

Anyone got any audiobook recs? 'Cause that's always another option).

I mean, this is good, that I am not sitting around twiddling my thumbs (and even while I've been playing FFXIII, I've been like, "Crap, I should be doing something else!") Or worse than that, even. I am being productive in a vague manner! (That's a lie, kind of. I am being productive, but I'm being deliberately vague since I am still kind of embarrassed by it, even though I shouldn't be).

I'll shut up about it now, eh?

~*~

Hmm, I need to find my Scandinavian art book again so that I can mine it for ideas.

And maybe some other art/culture books I have lying around (this sentence brought to you by a question about what language The Iliad was originally written in).

~*~

Time to hit post, I think.

I was awake at half eight this morning. Clearly my brain hates me. So I read for a couple of hours and smoked, and then went and did errands.

And then this afternoon, I did some more ripping and sticking again. I really don't know what I'm doing, apart from making a gigantic mess (I should take a pic so y'all can see what a mess this is). I also discovered that if I really wanted to, I could probably take the whole thing off the canvas. But I don't want to do that.

I was saying to mum that this could be it, this could be the thing that ends up making me famous (I was mostly joking), and then I said, "Or you know, it could be where they say 'This is the point where she clearly went mad. And she never did anything figurative ever again'."

And I watched some more Avatar, so just finished series 2. Appa's Lost Days had me bawling like a baby again (no surprise there, then. I thought that maybe one day it will not make me cry, but since The Animatrix never fails to make me cry, then maybe I am talking out of my arse).

~*~

In other news, I saw Model Guy twice this week. He smiled at me yesterday and looked all young and vulnerable. I went into work grinning. It was great.

Lady will you come with me into

Lady will you come with me into
the extremely little house of
my mind. Clocks strike. The

moon's round, through the window

as you see and really i have no
servants. We could almost live

at the top of these stairs, there's a free
room. We could almost go (you
and i) into together whitely big
there is but if so or so

slowly i opened the window a
most tinyness, the moon (with white wig
and polished buttons) would take you away

--and all the clocks would run down the next day.

- e.e. cummings

~*~

PVA glue does not taste nice (don't ask. But if there is me and glue, chances are I will end up ingesting it accidentally).

I spent this afternoon ripping up paper and gluing it to canvas. Well, why not? Show me where it says I can't do that. I love gluing and sticking. It makes me happy.

I don't know what I'm going to do with it. I'm just doing it and seeing what happens. Mostly it is pink right now, because I'm lazy, and that's the first coloured paper I found. Also I've had it for years and it needs using.

(I also watched a whole bunch more Avatar while doing the above. I am now back up to episode six of series two. End of S1 made me a bit sniffly again, but I didn't all out cry like I thought I was going to - which is why I put it off for so long. Also awesome use of colour is awesome).

~*~

Dear prozac and/or mirtazipine withdrawal,

Please to stop making me feel really fucking queasy. Seriously guys. I know I said I didn't want to eat like a horse, but I didn't mean that I didn't want to eat at all. I am hungry and I can't eat because I feel sick when I think about doing so.

Not cool, guys, not cool.

Improvement expected, thanks.

Me.

So I talked about shit and I didn't cry! MIRACLE! (Considering I said exactly the same to mum last night, and couldn't talk for crying. EH).

But. Basically my boss said a) thank you for letting him know and for being honest with him, b) that he wouldn't employ me if he didn't think I was worth something, and c) we're going to sort some of this shit out so that hopefully this doesn't happen again. Which is all very basic and skimming over a lot of stuff, but you guys, this is the internet. All I really want to tell you is that I didn't come home jobless or whatever.

(He did actually offer me today off work, but we both thought that probably wasn't a good idea*).

I still mostly want to curl up in a big ball and sleep till kingdom come. Which was not helped by the wonder that is my period starting half a week early (although it does explain the recent crapfest, and does little to convince me that PMS is not driving me bugnuts for two out of every four weeks. FUCK. TOO MANY NEGATIVES).

~*~

I got to rant about The Last Failbender at work today. IT WAS GREAT.

(On an amusing note, their eldest keeps trying to take the mickey out of me for going to conventions and liking Avatar. It mostly doesn't work because I've heard this all before, and because he's eleven and I find it adorable rather than annoying).

I also got to rant about it to my BBF** (who has acquired a tattoo since I last saw her) and came to the conclusion that we should totally watch the original series together. Because there is no such thing as too much Avatar. TRU FAX.

~*~

*I can tell you for free that I would've been sitting here going, "Well why does he want me to have the day off? Obviously I am shitty at this job and he's just not telling me that." Not healthy, I know, but...my brain, let me show you it.

**I hate that phrase, but she really is to me, whether she thinks of me that way or not. She's also my best not-little-sister, but I don't think she knows that because I don't think I've ever told her.