Ahhh, it is kind of refreshing to actually have feelings again. I'd forgotten what this felt like! (Granted, I wish some things wouldn't make me burst into impromptu tears, though - lately it was Clair de Lune by Debussy, played on a harp. I almost cried because it was so flipping beautiful).

I've said to mum before, but I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here before, but: antidepressants are all well and good, and yes, they stop you feeling depressed BUT what they do is level everything out. Your mood is a flat line, and there's no ups or downs, and that gets pretty old very fast, although you won't always realise it.

And I know this thing, I've known it for several years now but, until I came off my meds a bit since, I didn't realise it. Now I am happy, and sad, and mad, and everything in between. IT'S GREAT.

(However, a caveat: please come off your medication responsibly, if you plan to do so, and don't just do it because you want feelings again).

~*~

Hmm, yes. That aside, I have been reading TVT's article on Once Upon A Time on my phone during idle moments.

I don't talk about OUAT at all because I really have nothing to say about besides "YES WOMEN KICKING ARSE AND TAKING NAMES!" and "MY, JOSH DALLAS IS HOT ISN'T HE? DANG." (And also Megan Ory. Man, alive THOSE LEGS. And red is definitely her colour).

(Turns out I have a tag for it already, though. WHO KNEW? not me)

I appreciate it turning fairy tales on their head (and I love fairy tales anyway), and I recced it to a friend on this basis (also on the basis that Josh Dallas is hot, but I appreciate that he may not be everyone's cup of tea). I don't appreciate that they're generally the Disney versions of fairy tales/stories that the writers are working from but EH.

Anyway, I'm digressing, because I'm good at doing that. I got to the Meaningful Name entry, which says, and I quote:
Perhaps the most subtle example of all (at least, until it's unnecessarily lampshaded by Cora) is "Regina" - the Latin-derived word for "Queen."


Um. No? I thought it was too obvious, honestly. But maybe that's because a) I have some familiarity with Latin and b) I'm British, and postboxes have V.R. and E.R. on them - standing for Victoria and Elizabeth Regina respectively (there's also G.R., but that's George Rex. A king is certainly not a queen). And I don't know about now, but I got taught that at school, so I always knew Regina meant queen.

In general, I do think the mundane names for the characters are well chosen, but I don't think any of them are particularly clever. Which may possibly be me being a snobby git, but I don't care. I just kind of wanted to share my vague irritation.
I keep writing posts, and then not finishing them or posting them because I end up thinking, "Who the hell wants to read this??"

And then I get mad at myself because it's my damn blog and if someone doesn't want to read the post, they can scroll right past it, can't they?

It's not helped by being incredibly anxious about...certain things being nebulous right now. I know that is unhelpfully vague, but that's kind of how it feels in my head at the moment.

~*~

Meanwhile, in Kirkwall:

~ I think I've definitely messed something up with Fenris (stupid pissy elf! I wouldn't even mind, but that Gideon Emery's voice just. HNGH). I am tempted to make my next playthrough with a mage and be all "MAGES MAGES RAH RAH RAH!" just so he talks to me and because the stupidness of that whole scenario appeals to me.

~ Anders is bugnuts, right? That's not just me, is it? I like him (and, you know, he's not that bad to look at ;) ), but because he's crazy I can't...I suppose if I was playing a renegade playthrough it wouldn't be so bad but. Dude's paranoid, for a start. A lot of the time now I am wanting to reach in the TV and punch him. (Which is shame, because I'm sure really he's really nice and I want to start an Awakenings game just for comparison*. And cats).

Also I'm pretty sure he thinks I am grade A dumb. Although maybe I would be if I didn't know spoilers. I DON'T KNOW.

~ Isabela's boobs annoy me.

~ I fought a dragon and I won! I am still unsure how this happened (aside than it took FOREVER).

~ I got nothin' else for the time being.

*Anyone who's played it, is it as annoying and boring as DA:O? (Apologies to anyone who likes Origins, but christ almighty, it's like Tolkien wrote a video game. There's a lot of that that could've been chopped out and you'd still have a decent game. For the record, I like Lord of the Rings, but he does have a tendency to go on a bit).

~*~

Oh, also! I have been watching Awake. We have two more episodes to go. I decided to look it up on TV Tropes last night, and discovered it got cancelled! WHHHHHHHY???

It's a good show, and I was enjoying it, and not just because Jason Isaacs is in it (although, you know, that COULD be a reason ;) ).

On the other hand, me and mum have also been watching Once Upon A Time, which I kind of got into because I realised that "Oh, it's that thing with Raphael Sbarge in it!" and now I may have a massive crush on Josh Dallas (who is younger than me! When did that happen?!) But I can't see why you wouldn't have a crush on him (I also kind of have one on Meghan Ory, too, which may be to do with the fact that she is v. tall and has long legs. IDK).

The reason I mention this, aside from to get my crush on Josh Dallas out in the open, is that, on telling mum Awake had been cancelled, she couldn't figure out how come Once Upon A Time had been renewed.

There's nothing wrong with it. It's fluffy, and it's not as bad as I was expecting from what I'd read online. But I enjoy Awake a lot more, not least because it's a police procedural but also because yay nature of reality it's like you read my mind. And I don't even know if there was a point here any more.

~*~

I have been doodling. In pen. Without drawing pencil lines first. IT IS SCARY.

But also kind of cool. Might scan some of it tomorrow (because one of it I want to make into a bookmark, and one of it I want to make into a bigger picture, and paint and then it will be a print).

However, on the other hand, I may spend all of tomorrow staring at stuff by Arthur Rackham, Kay Nielsen, and Edmund Dulac, making weird hand gestures and going, "HOW???" Sounds like a reasonable way to spend a Sunday to me.

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