the faster i will run

I totally freaked my mum out by telling her there's an actor I have a crush on who is thirty years older than me (but he's the only one I won't admit to having a crush on, so she's none the wiser as to who he is). I then managed it again by telling her that he wasn't even the oldest guy I've had a crush on (the oldest is the same age she is).

(I don't even know why she reacted the way she did (honestly I thought she was going to spittake at me or something), because I know she's always liked older men so ??? she has no room to talk!)

I'm telling you this because I discovered the other day that Ciarán Hinds is about ten years older than I thought he was. (Though we share a birthday*, so it can't be all bad, right? ;) ) And, ultimately, the conclusion I have come to is that I am just into Really Old Men. Which I have to take as a sign that I am myself am actually old, definitely way older than I feel. (I once wrote a thing that I didn't believe at the time was true - which was that even though you age, you kind of mentally stick at one age and tend to feel like that unless reminded of it. I mean sometimes I joke about feeling old on twitter, but holy moly I have been feeling every single one of my thirty six years this past week. And then I mention this to mum**, and she's all, "Nahhh, you're not old, give it a rest," and I'm like, "BUT!"

(Dear mum, do you not know the internet is full of teenagers who think you're over the hill if you're 25+ ?)

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I've known for about six months or so now what I want my next tattoo to be, I just need to get the courage to actually, y'know, go into one of the shops in town and ask about prices. (I want a star with TEMET NOSCE underneath it). I also realised what I want for the third and fourth. The third was always going to be some sort of music, but I was paralysed with indecision as to what - I decided the other day that it'd probably be the first handful of bars of Danny Boy, since I've always liked that song (in spite of it being THE most depressing song on the planet). Actually, given what happened next, I'm sort of surprised that mum didn't ask me why not Land of my Fathers (the Welsh national anthem) instead. But she agreed with me!

Anyway, then today I also said I'd like a (small) Celtic knot somewhere. So she said, "why not a triskele?" and I said, because that wasn't what I wanted. She seemed somewhat put out by this, but it's my body it's going on???? As I said on twitter, I like triskeles enough, but not enough that I want to see it every time I get in the shower (assuming I have it somewhere I can see it, of course).

(I mean, admittedly I was thinking of something round, just not that).

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Two days in a row, I have woken up at 6:30 AM and today I've been awake since 5:30, and I feel like I can see through time now.

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*I discovered this back at the beginning of February, when I decided to look up famous people I shared a birthday with, since I was fed up of the only ones I could remember being Holly Johnson (of Frankie Goes to Hollywood fame), and Tom Hiddleston (with whom I also share my birth year). I obviously took zero note of the year it gave for Mr Hinds' birth, though it has be said that I've slept several times since I first read that list anyway. And I'm rubbish at maths.

**She's seventy, for reference.