we live in urban hell

# I do not miss my emotions being fucky, that is for sure. The last six weeks or so feel like they've been all over the place, and I thought I was feeling better, but then I've just spent the last two days wanting to cry all the time (and also being easily provoked to cry). I woke up like that this morning, and it's not a fun feeling; I don't enjoy it.

I know it will pass but uuuuurrrghhhhh do not want in the meantime.

# In happier news, I have, after almost three decades, come round on two Manics songs I have never liked before. Which is interesting, but not entirely unexpected, as I have done this before with other songs by other artists. I don't think either song will ever be my favourite (Roses in the Hospital has some weird ass shit going on it that I am overwhelmingly neutral on), but at least I know now that I can listen to them and not immediately want to throw the CD in the bin.

(The other one is Little Baby Nothing)

# I also had a bit of spare money so I bought Lipstick Traces (a B sides and covers compilation) and National Treasures (a compilation of all the singles up to 2011) second hand. So, for now, my Manics record collection is complete.

I would like to get the reissues, and the deluxe editions, but that can wait till, I dunno, I have a paying job. I would also like Everything Must Go on vinyl, if I never manage to get anything else, because, well. Nostalgia at this point, I guess.

# I am also still listening to What Is Music? and am currently up to Journal For Plague Lovers, which is also unpleasant in content, but it invokes less horrible feelings in me than The Holy Bible. That said, I put it on the other day while I was gessoing canvases, and my mood immediately tanked, sooooo yeahhhhhh. Lesson learnt, I think.

# Nothing else to say, time to go and figure out what's for dinner.