but not even then

I have finally worked my way through all the newer (to me) Manics albums twice now, plus random listenings on my phone when stuff comes up*.

And now IDK what I want to listen to, because it's still this, but it feels excessive? Which is daft because when I was younger, I used to listen to albums over and over and over again. It's how I'm so familiar with certain stuff. I don't know why I'm suddenly fussing about it now I'm a whole ass adult. It's not like I'm living with anyone who's going to go, "That again??" (and even when I did live with other people, nobody did, so ????)

I said on twitter that I want to be as over-familiar with the newer stuff as I am with the old stuff, and that ain't going to happen if I don't listen to it, is it?

The replacement copy of Lifeblood is fine, so I've listened to that album three times in total now - it feels very half and half-ish for me. There's one track I love (Solitude Sometimes Is), a handful I like, and then the rest I feel very "meh" about. But I don't hate it.

I am also of the opinion that you could soundtrack a film with just Manics songs. And also that a lot of the newer stuff is good travelling music. Not driving. Travelling. Soundtracking you staring blankly (or not) out of the window of whatever vehicle you're in. Because guess what I've been doing a lot of lately!

~

In other news, I've been flipping through some old physical diary entries for Reasons, and found one this morning where I described feeling like utter shite mood-wise, and not being able to concentrate on art college work, and then I came home and had a bad headache. No, past me, I think what you had was a migraine, you just didn't know it at the time.

It's been about seven years since I first realised I got migraines regularly - till then I thought I'd only ever had one "proper" one, maybe two maximum, because they'd had full visual disturbances, and I thought that was how they worked - but I wish I'd realised sooner than that. Maybe I could have made some compensation for it, especially because of how it can affect my mood. I still don't realise when that happens, until it shifts, and everything else settles in, and then I go, "ohhhh".

(Though generally these days because my mood is generally better, if I wake up feeling like I want to destroy everything and everything is shit, I have some inkling of why that is, but because it affects my thinking processes also sometimes that can take some time to sink in).

~

I've got nothing else for now (things are very boring chez J at the moment, thankfully), so time to go and sort out the washing, and also some books.

~

*I managed to rip everything in the end. I don't know why it wouldn't work the first time, but also I was deathly tired, so not in a place to really try to figure it out anyway.