(no subject)

UGH.

OK, here it is. I am completely useless. I kind of have that voice kicking off in my head saying, "You don't deserve to be doing this" (i.e. being self-employed and enjoying myself). The good news is, it's very quiet, and I mostly tell it shut the fuck up.

It's going on at the moment because I haven't yet posted those pics of my idea in progress anywhere (well, they're on my tumblr, but not here yet, and definitely not on my website). And because I haven't got back to someone about something/and a client about a commission (both of those are down to stupid anxiety issues). I haven't touched my website in over two weeks, only last night to delete some spam. I haven't even set up my storenvy shop. So, you know, I am the most useless business person ever.

Except that I've been Sleepy McSleeperson this week, and then, for the last three days, I've actually been ill (nausea, and some other stuff you REALLY don't want to hear about).

Except that this half the reason I became self-employed in the first place. So I could work at my own pace. Besides, I have my mum to look after. The stuff I do takes time. As I said, I was ill.

I just. Feel free to ignore this, because it's mostly just me really actually telling myself that it's OK that I didn't keep to my stupidly set deadlines (and the three people following me on Twitter probably don't care that I said I'd do it and then I didn't).

I can think of ways it could be worse, though.

Mostly, I just want to lie around, raging incoherently.

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Additionally, I have a bunch of comments I want to reply to, but they all seem too daunting right now, which is all kinds of ridiculous. BRAIN, I FUCKING HATE YOU.

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Think I am going to spend my birthday (not till Thursday) playing the rest of FFXIII (could spend it on Ico, but don't want to). I am also going to download the XIII-2 demo, since Squeenix informed me by email that the demo's out. I might as well look at the thing, right? (Especially since I can't afford to buy the game anyway).

(It occurred to me the other night, while I was lying awake, waiting to fall asleep, that I know what/who Snow's redesign reminds me of. You know the awful redesign of Setzer for Kingdom Hearts 2 (yeah. this one). THE HAIR'S EVEN THE SAME. GODDAMNIT, NOMURA!)

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An idea requiring feedback, if you would be so kind:

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Why yes, I am premenstrual, how can you tell.