I nearly forgot I had a topic for the 20th, because it was my mum's birthday, and I was foggy-brained all day.
As his final question,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mr_gent asked me: What do you, personally, think a good friend must have or be like? Or in other words, what do you need in a friendship?
This is a REALLY HARD question. Which is why it's a day late.
I don't know, you know. I've tried writing a couple of versions of this, and mostly whatever I write sounds either like I'm really angry or like I'm really needy.
To me, a good friend is someone who can make you laugh, has shared interests, isn't judgemental (or is when needs be*). Someone who understands when you need space. Someone who worries about you (although not so much so that they're smothering. Because no). Someone who you can pick up a conversation with after months, years, whatever, and it's like you never stopped talking in the first place (although hopefully you wouldn't stop talking to begin with but that's not always feasible). Someone you can be a dork with, and they don't care, because they're just as much of a dork, if not more so. Someone who wants to help you if you have problems. Someone who knows when to keep a secret.
IMPORTANTLY: someone who doesn't pretend to be nice to me to my face, and then bitch about me or worse when my back is turned. Also someone who doesn't say they like me one day, yell at me the next (without reason), and then act like nothing happened the day after that.
This probably does not cover everything I would think makes a good friend, but I found it difficult to put into words. I suppose this is because I've never really thought about it. I just like people, you know? I don't think I consciously think about why we've a good friendship, I just know that we have, if that makes sense?
*What I mean is, doesn't tell me certain lifestyle choices are wrong, let's say, but if I told 'em I was going to murder someone, then they have every right to judge me (and then report me to the police).
~
Previous topics/dates here, questions welcome till the end of the month :)
As his final question,
mr_gent asked me: What do you, personally, think a good friend must have or be like? Or in other words, what do you need in a friendship?This is a REALLY HARD question. Which is why it's a day late.
I don't know, you know. I've tried writing a couple of versions of this, and mostly whatever I write sounds either like I'm really angry or like I'm really needy.
To me, a good friend is someone who can make you laugh, has shared interests, isn't judgemental (or is when needs be*). Someone who understands when you need space. Someone who worries about you (although not so much so that they're smothering. Because no). Someone who you can pick up a conversation with after months, years, whatever, and it's like you never stopped talking in the first place (although hopefully you wouldn't stop talking to begin with but that's not always feasible). Someone you can be a dork with, and they don't care, because they're just as much of a dork, if not more so. Someone who wants to help you if you have problems. Someone who knows when to keep a secret.
IMPORTANTLY: someone who doesn't pretend to be nice to me to my face, and then bitch about me or worse when my back is turned. Also someone who doesn't say they like me one day, yell at me the next (without reason), and then act like nothing happened the day after that.
This probably does not cover everything I would think makes a good friend, but I found it difficult to put into words. I suppose this is because I've never really thought about it. I just like people, you know? I don't think I consciously think about why we've a good friendship, I just know that we have, if that makes sense?
*What I mean is, doesn't tell me certain lifestyle choices are wrong, let's say, but if I told 'em I was going to murder someone, then they have every right to judge me (and then report me to the police).
~
Previous topics/dates here, questions welcome till the end of the month :)
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