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i know i'm selfish i'm unkind
So the universe decided that I got to be happy for roughly a month before remembering that no, actually, I don't get to be consistently happy, ever.
I'm not going to go into details of what is currently happening - all you need to know right now is that I am physically okay and everything related to me is stable. It's something else that's happening, which does affect me in a very big way, and therefore I am in a terrible mood/state, as per usual.
As for the one thing that was (well, still is, but I now feel incredibly guilty about it, because ofc) making happy is that there's a guy at work who, I am more than 75% sure, is interested in me. It feels weird, because it's not something I am used to! (I also figure I must have been attracted to him, as well, but didn't realise it on a conscious level at first). I mean, I am also afraid that I have read every one of his signals wrongly (because I'm good at that), despite at least two people I work with confirming I haven't.
(This is the thing that's testing my social skills as mentioned here because a lot of the time, I've been like, "is he flirting with me, or is he just being nice?" because IDK when I'm being flirted with unless you are a) very obvious about it* or b) hit me over the head with a sign that says that that is exactly what you're doing).
*He hasn't been exactly subtle, and I am still unsure. WTF is that about!
I wasn't going to post about this unless something positive came out of it, because I don't want to be wrong, but also you know what? Fuck it. So what if I am wrong about his intentions, and he's just being nice because he's a lovely person. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened. And being wrong about it absolutely pales in comparison to the other thing that's happening.
Anyway, I don't see him very often, so I don't know if there will be an update to this any time soon. And even if I do, there still might not be an update. Because, aside from anything else, his manners are freaking impeccable, and I am now at the point where I think he may be too polite to say anything to me, fr'ex ask me on a date**, because asking me while I'm at work would be rude, but he doesn't see me outside of work so !!! we are kind of stuck here, assuming that's the case!
**I want him to do the legwork here because I've done so much chasing in my life that I'm sick of it, and I want someone else to do it instead.
Am I writing/thinking about this as a distraction? Maybe. And you are obviously free to ignore it. But what a problem to have, eh? Thinking someone might be attracted to you. (This is one of those good problems, like the year I had two of the same easter egg by accident).
So yeah, I just wanted to, I dunno? Vent a little bit/let y'all know why I might be quieter than usual for the foreseeable. And distract myself by talking about something that isn't going to happen, lol.
I'm not going to go into details of what is currently happening - all you need to know right now is that I am physically okay and everything related to me is stable. It's something else that's happening, which does affect me in a very big way, and therefore I am in a terrible mood/state, as per usual.
As for the one thing that was (well, still is, but I now feel incredibly guilty about it, because ofc) making happy is that there's a guy at work who, I am more than 75% sure, is interested in me. It feels weird, because it's not something I am used to! (I also figure I must have been attracted to him, as well, but didn't realise it on a conscious level at first). I mean, I am also afraid that I have read every one of his signals wrongly (because I'm good at that), despite at least two people I work with confirming I haven't.
(This is the thing that's testing my social skills as mentioned here because a lot of the time, I've been like, "is he flirting with me, or is he just being nice?" because IDK when I'm being flirted with unless you are a) very obvious about it* or b) hit me over the head with a sign that says that that is exactly what you're doing).
*He hasn't been exactly subtle, and I am still unsure. WTF is that about!
I wasn't going to post about this unless something positive came out of it, because I don't want to be wrong, but also you know what? Fuck it. So what if I am wrong about his intentions, and he's just being nice because he's a lovely person. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened. And being wrong about it absolutely pales in comparison to the other thing that's happening.
Anyway, I don't see him very often, so I don't know if there will be an update to this any time soon. And even if I do, there still might not be an update. Because, aside from anything else, his manners are freaking impeccable, and I am now at the point where I think he may be too polite to say anything to me, fr'ex ask me on a date**, because asking me while I'm at work would be rude, but he doesn't see me outside of work so !!! we are kind of stuck here, assuming that's the case!
**I want him to do the legwork here because I've done so much chasing in my life that I'm sick of it, and I want someone else to do it instead.
Am I writing/thinking about this as a distraction? Maybe. And you are obviously free to ignore it. But what a problem to have, eh? Thinking someone might be attracted to you. (This is one of those good problems, like the year I had two of the same easter egg by accident).
So yeah, I just wanted to, I dunno? Vent a little bit/let y'all know why I might be quieter than usual for the foreseeable. And distract myself by talking about something that isn't going to happen, lol.