muladhara | (no subject)

1. I had a Resident Evil dream last night. It was so scary, it woke me up. I haven't even looked at anything to do with the remake in days, so I don't know what inspired that (unless I am, as I suspected, slightly ill again). The zombies moved like Heartless, and that was freakin' awful, let me tell you.

I also dreamt about mum, and that was sort of weird. Not horrible weird, but also unexpected.

2. WRT the dentist! I went on Tuesday - I called Monday, and was really surprised I was able to get a next day appointment. Anyway, he had a look at the tooth (and the one above it), and said there's pretty much nothing he can do about it, unless it becomes infected, or carries on giving me grief. He said there's no signs of infection right now, so just to carry on as normal and hope for the best.

I'm annoyed in some ways, but in others I'm relived. I honestly thought the worst, and was fully prepared for him saying he'd have to take it out, and I'd have to pay god only knows how much for the treatment.

On the other hand, in all the poking around he did to check everything was okay, he reaggravated the nerve, so that was fun!

3. I bought a pull along shopping bag, which is getting delivered later, so I can use it when I do my next food shopping haul (likely Saturday; I don't really like going after work Fridays, and I don't want to take it to work with me).

I've actually been wanting one for years, but I'm really fussy about patterns and stuff (and conscious of looking like an Old Person, since it's usually pensioners you see with them. That said, I do know people around my age/younger who use them, so really I shouldn't care. And I'm going to try not to. Because I'd rather not yank my arm out of its socket, thanks). Anyway, this one is flat black all over, and insulated, which is good, because I buy a lot of frozen veggies.

4. I am up to Birth by Sleep in the Kingdom Hearts canon!

So far my thoughts on everything else is:

a. Roxas needs all the hugs. ALL OF THEM.

b. I was not expecting 358/2 Days to make me cry that much.

c. Why on earth does coded exist? Is there even a point to it? Why did I waste three hours of my life watching a video version of re:coded?

(I'm even more glad I never picked it up in the first place).

d. Why does Ventus look like Roxas??? I am sure this mystery will be solved at some point(?) but for now, I don't understand! (and don't tell me what the answer is - I want to see if the game tells me first).

e. I think I mostly understand everything at the moment? I mean, I have no idea what's going on in BBS right now, but the larger story mostly makes sense?

5. I did put a thing here about writing, but it's basically a circular argument I've been having with myself for months, including that I don't know what would be a self-indulgent story for me.

(I've been thinking about it off and on for what feels like years at this point and I really don't know. I guess something with time travel and angst and alternate universe and maybe space travel? I really, really don't know).

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I was not expecting 358/2 Days to make me cry that much.

The ending of Days is the hardest I've ever cried at a videogame, by a long way. I had to pause and dry my face because I couldn't see the screen through my tears. (You are one thousand percent correct about Roxas needing all the hugs.)

I would posit that all writing is, to a degree, self-indulgent if it's something you love enough to put that blood, sweat, and tears into, and that that's a good thing. we deserve our joy.

oh for sure, but there's a tumblr post I reblogged ages ago that says you should write the most self indulgent stuff because why not? and I've spent a lot of time since then wondering what exactly that looks like for me. Like, most people have it figured out, but I have no idea.

Yeah, I can see that. Although because I am really good at letting perfect be the enemy of done, I'm trying to learn to just write what comes at the moment, because words on the page are better than zero words. The most imperfect representation of my ideas is still better than nothing, you know?

Yessss, I totally get that, too. A lot of the groundwork for my sci-fi story was me just writing to get stuff out, rather than agonising about every single thing, which is what I usually do.

The most imperfect representation of my ideas is still better than nothing, you know?

Yup.