it's the end of the year as we know it

[muladhara]

I suppose I ought to write an end of the year post, yes?

2016 wasn't particularly shitty to me, personally, until about halfway through the year. Then it's just kind of got progressively worse and I hope 2017 is an improvement because fuck this noise. I am so done. Most of it's to do with my mum, and the fact that she hasn't been particularly well for a lot of the year. I'm sort of used to this, it happened in 2014. Only this time, instead of writing to distract myself (that's how the abominations story came about), I think I've crawled inside myself, because that's all I feel I can do. When I am not looking after mum, that is. I've had to stop working to look after her full time, which actually happened several months ago, but I didn't mention because I felt crass doing so every time I typed it out. I don't know why. It's a fact. It's not like I'm boasting about my copious free time because I don't work because, well, I don't feel like I have a lot of free time.

That said, there have been some good things that have happened this year!

I joined the comics group and I made some new friends! Who I would like to continue being friends with, even though I haven't seen them much through the year and now not for two months! I set up a table to use as a desk in the living room and that worked well! I got rid of a bunch of books I don't want any more, and am planning on getting rid of more, along with some other stuff! I've done a lot of tidying and cleaning in the house! I have, in general, felt way less anxious and shitty this year than I did for the previous two years! I did a lot of drawing for two months straight! (I actually did a lot of drawing all year - I'm onto my third sketchbook for this year, which is unheard of).

I failed miserably on my new year's resolution, though. Apparently it was to play my guitar more and, while I've thought about it a lot, I probably haven't touched it since January. I haven't really done anything musical this year, and that makes me kind of sad. But, as I've said in previous posts, it's kind of hard to get settled doing much when I could be interrupted at any moment.

I don't have any resolutions for next year. I just want it to be better than this one was. I know it won't be, in some ways, for a swathe of people I know, but I'm sometimes hopelessly optimistic.

Comments

[lassarina]

I'm sometimes hopelessly optimistic Me too. My guiding thought for the year is "bring love and compassion to the world, because those things are never wasted." (Or something along those lines.) I may not be able to improve the entire world, but I can make some things better in small ways, and I trust that those will spread like ripples in a pond.

I'm sorry to hear that your mom isn't doing well. I will think good thoughts for her, and for you.

[muladhara]

but I can make some things better in small ways, and I trust that those will spread like ripples in a pond.

Same here.

Thank you for the thoughts - things are getting better, it's just going slowly.

[thenicochan]

I hope things work out with your mom. Positive thoughts and karma your way.

Try to hold onto the good things that occurred this year and build on them. Sometimes clinging to those things is all that can get us through the really hard, trying times. A little hopeless optimism never hurts. *hug*

And hey! We became friends at the end of the year. That's a definite win in my book.

[muladhara]

Thank you. She's getting better, but it's taking time.

I am! It's far too easy to get sucked into doom and gloom - I have much experience of it. I think my good things outweighed my bad things, so that's got to be good.

We did! *fistbumps*